Lol replying to myself.

Okay well yesterday was a zero day for me (when I say zero day it means no binge or purge) I hadnt had one in like a week so I was getting sick of throwing up and stuff. Umm I woke up at 12, so it was easy cause I had to work 6 hours later and I go on really long binges (3 - 4 hours) so I didnt have oppertunity to. But I could of when I got home medical question I ate all these nuts and an apple just before I went to bed, it pissed me off cause I knew I wouldnt burn off the cals, but then I woke up this morning and was like yay zero day yesterday! I love that feeling :)

Awesome job girl!

Thanks babe. Have you got anything you can add?

I read about your story about how your eating disorder began, its quite sad and the sad bit is that it happened to a beautiful person like yourself.

How have you been lately?

Thanks that was a really nice thing to say it made my day. Well I haven't purged since thursday which is really really good but I am having a hard time giving myself credit for it. I haven't been trying not to do it instead I just got sick of throwing up... I don't I am a confused girl... I don't know what I want to do now like if I want to get better or not the person I love and just broke up with is coming to town this week and part of me wants to be skinny and sick I don't know.

Inzerina-why do you feel you need to be skiny for him, dosen't he appriciate the real you? I dont think you need to be skiny for anyone, I mean i'm not heavy, or thin (avrage) i've had bulimia for about 6 months now, i'm like everyone I just dont want to do it anymore or I dont feel like not doing it, so I dont eat as much, it sounds like your doing good you haven't done it since thursday, as for me I dont have much self control, I give in eventually, eating that is. Theres so many temtations out there, you wouldn't see a 200 woman walking down a run way, and they often tell the modles there fat when there not, my point is I dont think I half to be skiny for anyone if he dosen't like what he sees then he can get out of my life for pressuring me everyday to loose weight, and telling me what to eat and not to eat, (something I went thruogh), but I am loosing weight for myself, I use to exercise everyday, but I dont anymore thats what drove me to bulimia, but I am trying to eat healthy, exercising whenever I can, I am tired of purging i've done for three months straight, now i've stopped a little, it's going to take some time to get over, I know I should get help. But I haven't told anyone, I dont want to end up having a heart attack, or something, i've been to the hospital because I was dizzy, they could'nt figure out why, I wanted to tell them about my bulimia, but I was to afraid. How long have you had this, if you dont mind me asking?

Well i

Hi mary-
thanks for writing. You're right I shouldn't be trying to lose weight for him but the really sick part is that I know he likes em the way I am and he knows I have an eating disorder and if he saw I lost weight it would scare him and hurt him and make him worry. I feel evil saying this but I want him to hurt really badly. I have been bulimic for 11 years.

I thought there were more postings in here.

Yea! Yesterday was a crappy day but no purging for me! Wow it feeols good to acknowledge it later.

Merry christmas! I got the best early present a purge free day!

Good for you that had a purge free day(s), I had 2 days of not purging, yesterday, and the day before, but today I messed up.

I messed up too. Today I did it twice already

Wow, im really happy you guys are doing so well. Your really fighting hard and we can all see that and id just like to say that your doing a fantastic job. 2 days in a row - thats doing it unbelievable!! I think you should be so proud of yourself that you did that.. Dont worry if you slipped a little. Its amazing what you achieved. Sadly no binge / purge free days since I last posted. I think I will have one on new years eve. Love for you all xxx

Yay for no purging yesterday being busy is a lovely thing

I haven't purged in more than a week. I am proud in a way but I feel like I need to bad. I got my nails done so I am scared to do it thinking my nail will break off and choke me to death. At times I really don't care but I know I shouldn't think like that. Well congrats to everyone for b/p free days :d

2 in a row! I had 2 binge / purge free days in a row! First time ever! Omg I am so so pleased with myself!!! I was getting so so sick of throwing up and eating so much! I think I could do it cause I was with my best friend and it was really relaxing and enjoyable and I loved it. :)

woot woot go me! And btw well done to inezrina for your no purging! Yes busy is great I find it so much easier when I have to work.. Especially around dinner time... So I miss having to excuse myself.

Congrats to angel babe thats so amazing that you havent purged for a week. A week. A week! I got to 2 days which was great for me!! How does it feel to be "normal" again? And by the way, I dont want to to die because your nail breaks off... Just in case you were wondering. Xxx

It sucks because my only thought of when I am eating is omfg...... Like I feel grouse and I think my self esteem has gone down a lil because now I do feel really chubby and grouse. Like I do feel skinnier in my face cause it isn't swollen like it use to be alot. I think a thing that I will need in order to be normal is a therapist or something cause it is really hard.
Well congrats to you two days right on. I know how hard it is to do that. An ed is the worst struggle in the world. I never though that it would effect me this much when I started. The only good thing that came from it is meeting people here that have the same struggle and are so awesome and supportive and strong.

Chickies? Aint that a bit sexist?

Anyway, christmas day, held down turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, sprouts, gravy and what not, though I avoided cake/chocolate/sweets or alcohol.

Chickies = chickens. Chickens are male or female (thats right isnt it)?

Well if its not I apologise, is peeps a better word to use?