Hi-
i am sorry to hear about your eating disorder... When I finally got diagnosed I realized that I had had an eating disorder for 10 years and I was only 18. I hope you can find a way to get some help.
M

Sorry to hear that you are struggling with food. I know how you feel because I was anorexic myself. It really is hard. I struggled so much with this damn disorder that it made me misurable. I was in high school at the time when it all started. I would not eat at all and even when I did it was in very small portions. I thought that the world would end if I gained weight. But it is not like that at all. You have to learn to love yourself for what you are, and dont let anyone tell you otherwise. It will be a tough road but try your hardest to get better. My family suffered so much because of me and my weight issue. I am 5'10" tall and I used to weight only 90 lbs. I looked sick. I started seeing a psychiatrist and she put me on an antidepressant medication but it did not help at all. You have to do it for yourself because no one else will. Find something you enjoy doing and be surrounded by people you love, they make it a lot easier. It took me 2 yrs to finally gain some weight and not feel bad or guilty about it. And now 5 yrs after I feel great. I still worry about food and gaining weight but not to the point where I would starve myself.
Finally, as someone who has went through this torturing disorder all I can say is that you have to do it for yourself, no one else can do it for you. You have to learn to love and feel good about yourself. I know its easier said than done but you can do it....Have faith
good luck