My name is lexxy. I have a bit of a dillema. No one knows about this, i've held it inside for long enough and I truely need advice. It's a bit legnthy, so please bear with me:

about two years ago I was in an absolutely perfect very passionate relationship. Alex and I dated for 5 1/2 years. I can say that we lived quite comfortably though he never paid taxes. I begged him to change his lifestyle and he refused time and time again. So finally I left him and everything we created together. About two months after I left alex I was re-introduced to jay, someone I knew in high school. Right away jay and I hit it off. And even though I didnt want a relationship, I felt as though jay and I would be good together. A fresh start to my new single life. As jay and I were getting to know each other I felt as though my body was changing. I had always been in great shape physically and was now gaining weight. I chalked it up to fast food and stress. Another two months went by and I finally decided to take a pregnancy test. It was positive. I hesitated to tell jay since we've only been dating for 4 months. But to my suprise he was delighted with the news, telling me, "this is what i've been praying for" (belive me I know what you may be thinking. After only 4 months how can he love someone and want to have a baby??? Well, ya know I said the same thing) after much much thought, I decided to keep my baby. At my first check up I was told I was having a girl and I thought to myself "how can they tell so fast?" well it turns out that I was 5 months pregnant... Oh god!!! Was all I could think. Oh caca! Dear god!!!! Oh caca!!!
Immediately after I left the clinic I went to my ex, alex. The first thing he told me was that cobra (caca narcotic task force) had been watching him and that he had to leave to chicago. When I finally told him that I was pregnant he got on his knees and kissed my stomach. He gave me a choice: stay here or leave right now and be on the run with him in chicago. Thinking of my unborn child I decided to stay. When I got home jay was at my apartment waiting with flowers. He too kissed my stomach (thought that was strange) he let me know that he told his whole family earlier that day about my pregnancy... Time goes by, and I never receive a phone call or letter from alex. So thinking of my unborn daughter, I decided to stick with jay and his supportive family and told alex's best friend that I had a miscarriage knowing that alex would eventually hear about it.
A year's gone by and jay and my daughter and I moved out of town. His whole family is in love with my daughter and I couldnt be happier of all of the love and attention that my baby recieves. I truely feel blessed.
Well on my way out of work one day I run into alex. Turns out he beat the system and has been looking for me since... He said he knew that my daughter was his and begged for us to be a family. That was two months ago. Alex and I talk secretly every day. I still love this man very much. But I know that the quality of life would be completely diferent and a much worse lifestyle to raise a child if I were to be with alex, her real father. And how would I ever be able to tell jay and his family??? Or tell my baby girl that daddy isnt really daddy and that she'll never see her family again??? I know that I dont at all love jay, and every time I talk with alex it feels so right. But I have no problem with sacraficing true love to give my daughter the life she deserves. All in all I dont know weather to stay or to leave. I feel as though I should give alex his rightful chance. But this would just devistate and destroy jay. And probably take a psychological toll on my daughter. I'm so stuck. I even romanced the thought of being single. Financially I would be able to do it, but this would hurt my baby girl too. Alright, it's past 2:30am, my apologies for this being so long. Any advice would be helpful. Please, lexxy