Vel and mary,
neither one of you are old. Try and be 51. Blecho!!! My body feels 51, but I can't possibly be that old, I don't feel it. I remember being 18 and feeling so lost. I don't know if you are going through what I did but not only was I concerned about what I was going to do the rest of my life, but I didn't know who I was. I would walk around campus and think or sing - who am i? I even made up a song, but I can't remember it now. I'm too old. I went through that phase almost all the way through my 20's, so see, you both are quite normal.
What I did that helped the most was keep a journal. It's so funny now to go back through them, but sometimes I still feel the way I did back then.
Vel, the eyes hurting is a problem I still have today. It makes shopping difficult because I get so tired, but actually i'm not tired, my eyes are just killing me. I wish I could tell you how to help that problem, but I still have the problem. I've been told it's dry eyes or allergies or whatever.
Make sure to wear very good sunglasses (uv protection, etc.) whenever it is bright outside. Unfortunately that usually means you usually can't wear the fancy ones all young people want. But I still have dreams about the times as a teenager riding in a car when I couldn't see because the sun blinded me. I wasn't smart and get good sunglasses until later. Sheesh, I almost sound like a mommy, but believe me, i'm no mother - just someone old and a little wiser.
I'm mostly writing to mention the face, jaw and neck hurting vel. These are usually caused by stress and tension. You are probably holding your upper body tight because of stress and that will cause pain. I also wouldn't be surprised if you grind your teeth at night. Believe me, you don't want to get tmj like I have. You might want to get one of those night guards that you boil to fit your mouth and wear it while sleeping for a few weeks. I think you can get one at any drugstore.
I do highly recommend that you try and find some sort of relaxation method or whatever. But again, i'm starting to sound like a mother again. I rarely get to tell my two little ones what to do (2 kitty cats), so I have to tell other people what to do. Not really, just kidding, but I am concerned that you do not want to have so much stress and tension in your life if at all possible. Stress causes too many illnesses and painful, stupid things like tmj. I got tmj when I was 28 years old and I know most of it was because I was so tense and stressful all those years before. Now that I am a much more relaxed person, I still have tmj because my joint is now damaged from all the years of popping and cracking. Bummer.
Sorry to waste your time writing this, but surprisingly I do care when I read that young people such as you, vel and mary, are having problems that actually are normal life tribulations. I just want you to know that you are perfectly normal - a nut like the rest of us. :)
blessed holidays...
Carol
p.S. Humor is the best medicine