[quote="purpz28".]i guess I have to just put my foot down and say come with us or I am done because it seems I am the only one that can or will change the situation. [/quote]
correct. You need to act. You need to tell him to go away.
But that is only the start. You then need to examine why you were
attracted to him to begin with.
You seem to be taken easily with superficial displays of tenderness. From
your description, I think you need to look deeper than mere chivalry for
your next relationship, and that will require a huge boost in your own
self-awareness.
I hate to think what a person can get away with you if they all they need
to do is the 'lil romantic things'. Such attention to detail can be very
specious, and I wouldn't be surprised if he was manipulating you just
to maintain this destructive arrangement.