Bi-polar Sufferer Looking For Some Words of Comfort

I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder-mixed five times over (doubtless, inherited from my paternal grandmother, who spent the latter portion of her life a ward of the state). I've suffered violent attacks for years, characterized by everything from hallucinations, suicidal pangs, clinical depression, bruxism, sleep paralysis, ibs, obsessive-compulsive tendencies, scruples, violent outbursts, etc. At present, I am unmedicated. I graduated from college six months ago and nobody will hire me anywhere, despite an exemplary resume. Recently, I broke out in a major bi-polar episode, which is nothing new for me. However, I recently suffered an additional symptom which is bothering me more than it should (which, in and of itself, is bothering me; i'm quite botherable). I seem to be noticing a greater amount of hair coming out when I brush and throughout the day, mostly around the front of my scalp by my temples and my brow. It burns and it tingles. Same thing for the back of my scalp. Also, my hair seems to come loose a lot easier. I've lost a bit of hair around the front lines over the past few years (i'm 25 and was diagnosed at 17), but, mostly, i'm holding strong. I know, compared with a possibly degenerative mental disorder, this is a whiffet next to a whirlstorm. Still, I have major self image problems. I'm decent-looking, others say, but I really hate myself, especially my appearance, despite the fact that I run and work out every day, and eat relatively healthily (mostly because of the ibs). Also, i'm a big reader and a big lover of the arts. I don't think there's a history of male-pattern baldness in my family, but I do experience incredibly violent emotional non-stop each and every day, accompanied by a great deal of physical pain. So, I can't help wondering if this is telogen effluvium. I can't afford to go a doctor, except for medication (i'm going to a free clinic next week). I'm aware how frivolous i'm being, but I feel like dreck on the soles of someone's loafers as is. I'd at least like to look in the mirror and not see added incentive to hate who I see reflected back at me. So, if anyone can offer any advice whatsoever, I would deeply and greatly appreciate it.