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December 11th, 2005
I am a good looking 22 year old male now and my lady 20, weve been together for about 3 years. I look nice but have something about me that that is rare. I am shy therefore I didn't date or had any form of sexual relations with anyone until I met her. She is everything to me as I am to her but there is one problem. A year before she met me she had oral sex with a guy while another guy watched, a one night stand with a guy which included anal sex and her going to a guy house who was almost 10 years older to have sex repeadiatly. All of this happened when she was about 16-17. I cry to god to ask him for this not to be true but it is. She said it was a experiance everyone needs to get out of their system and she doesn't regret any of it. It hurts me so bad. She loves me all the way but im getting scared. She is clear of all std's, and she saids its becuause of god "watched over her." she told me that if I leave I will find out that alot of girls feel the same way, have done the same things or "worse." even though my friends(including good friends which are girls), say I could find another sweet beutiful lady like her but I feel I can't. I prayed to god all my life that I didn't want to be like alot of men and date around. She assumed that I selpt with over 10 girls and her father still doesn't believe that I saved myself to the age of 19. She is everything to me expect for her past. I know the typical advice is to "if you love her so much like you say u do then you need to accept her for who she is," but honestly put yourself in my shoes, don't you feel hurt? Please help me out. God bless you all.
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First Helper john
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justacanadiangirl
replied December 11th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
I know a lot of girls who have tested out stuff like that. Most of my friends in high school were having sex (not to that extreme but still) and I think u do have to accept her for who she is. And if u can't then obviously it's not really meant to be is it?
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john
replied December 11th, 2005
I Feel
When I first met her she kept it from me, about a year later she told me the details. She tells me that some of the guys come up to her and say "i have an apartment now," or say "hah, you thought I liked you. She always said always that I am one in a trillion. She said im hot and satisfy her every need. When she told me about her past in details I thought to myself "i love her so deeply, I can't just walk away." we planned her in everything in my life. We are now living together and we plan to try to become doctors together. She does worry that my lack of experiance might lead me to curiostiy. I thought if I was just like her and slept around, I would come to terms with her then. Yes I thought about cheating on her but not for the purpose of sexual gradificaton. I thought if I cheated on her I would rather deal with the guilt that I cheated on her than deal with her past. I called a few girls who told me that "they want my child,"......And other things but I just couldn't. I promised god that I would never do such a thing. I tell her now that ive get suicidal depression and she worries but she doesn't know what is being caused by. I just wished she could apologize to me for her actions(she refuses to do so). Yes im going to seek medical help on my depression. Im sooo sorry this is so long but I am so hurt and lost. I thank each and everyone of you who reads this. God bless you all.
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lostdude
replied December 20th, 2005
I dont have to put myself in your shoes, i'm walking in the same ones... My g/f lost her virginity when she was in 5th grade, and I used to hang out with the guy last year that popped her cherry, and after him like 5 or 6 others guys came and did her, and that is her past, from 5th to 9th grade, and like last year she did it with her b/f like 10 times just last year, and she has earned the reputation of a "hoe" in school, but I know she could have done worse, but from time to time ppl talk mess and say "it is nasty down there, just nasty" you know what I mean? I know it is not as bad as your case, but I am 16 and she is 15, a 'lil young dont you think? But I fell in love with her and I accept who she is and what she did, even though we could be both virgins, everyone has their flaws and all I see is a beautiful girl with such a sweet personality who's intentions are mistaken... I sometimes wish she didnt do what she did, but it is all in the past now... Think of it more like that...
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Sammy001
replied December 20th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
Wow..That is really young grade 5?....Wouldn't she be like 10 years old???

I lost my virginity in grade 12. All of my friends were acting like hoes too, but I had respect for myself. They all earned the bad rep too. And to this day, alot of them still have it. It is alot harder for girls to get rid of the reputation than guys I think.
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TysonH
replied January 5th, 2006
Experienced User
I agree with you sammy. It does seem harder for girls to get rid of the reputation than guys. Adn to u fellas who were talkin earlier..I too am in the same shoes..And iwas shocked to hear that girl lose hers in the 5th grade!! Mygirlfriend lost hers in the 8th grade!..So whenever I see a group of kids at that age...Or I hear something botu the 8th grade..I can't help but think of her rebellion years.... It sucks..However, we've beentoegther for about a year..And she told me everything she had done before we even dated. I feel horribel for thinking some of the things that I do about her, but I can't help it. However, she loves me deeply and cares for me deeply. The wierd thing is, sometimes I can say I love you but other times, when I have the thoughts of her past in my head..It's hard to say it. ...I know the situation..That's the only obstacle in our relatinoship. I did not have sex with nebody else, so she doesn't know how it feels. Before I would ask so many questions that were pointless but I asked them neway..It's just a big mess and good luck with everything. Just realize that she loves u know, she is with you now!..And make sure sex is not the only thing on her mind, make sure it's about communication and tust and such.. Good luck.
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