Abortion Debate Forum - I'm 14 Years Old And Pregnant Help?

mommy2B06

replied on December 10th, 2005

Experienced User

Sounds like to me that you dont want to kill your baby and I dont think you should. If you think that you can make it in this world with a baby then you need to have it. Your boyfriend or your mom dont have to live the rest of their lives with the guilty feeling that you will have to live with. There are tons of people on here that will help you get through this. Just dont have an abortion because they want you to. Do what you want to. If your mother really loves and cares for you like mother are suppose to then she will get over it and help you in any way that she can. Im here for you to talk to. My name is christy..Im 18 and 36 1/2 weeks pregnant.

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yellow ribbon

replied on December 10th, 2005

Especially eHealthy

My mom told me the same thing. Actually she had already kicked me out for partying to much and I was living with my dad (or suppose to b I was actually at my boyfriends) when I got pregnant. I moved back with my mom and she told me if I didnt get rid of it I would have to move back out but I stood my ground and she caved to the beautiful face of her granddaughter. Imoved out with my husband now im sorry some guys are asses and yours doesnt support u. What will your dad say? If hes supportive and u dont want to deal with the drama just move in with him. Im not sure what the law is since u have a dad to go live with but legally you are your guardians responisbility til u are 18. (its the just like u cant move out without her consent til you are 18 but backwards) and no matter how many times someone tries to make u have an abortion as long as u tell the nurse who asks u to consent that u are not there on your own free will they cant do the procedure. Good luck

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motherofhighspiritedones

replied on January 16th, 2009

Moderator

Whoa, this is a pregnancy support forum, not a bashing forum. To the OP, if you are looking into abortion, try and repost a similar message in the Medical Abortion forum. No one is allowed to take their personal opinions into there. To everyone else, it takes TWO to get pregnant, abortion is NOT homicide (depending on where you live, at certian stages, it could be considered homicide, but that is usually late-term), and just because she "spread her legs" does not make her entirely at fault. She is young. Young minds are malliable and naieve. Also, to the OP, think over ALL your options, which include abortion, adoption and parenting. Talk to a loving, supportive adult in your life over all these options.

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sonofjames

replied on February 3rd, 2009

New User

As hard as I try to understand why young people keep trying to have babies - I never fully can. It is irresponsible. Period. End of story. At 14, you cannot support a child - that is the reality of the situation. I also have concern for the statuatory rape that occured when the 18 year old man impregnated a 14 year old girl then told her to "kill dat piece of trash". This guy needs to be locked up. Yes, I agree 2 make a baby - but we, as a society, need to do a better job showing our kids how to love themselves enough to say no to having babies before marriage.
All that aside, as a mother myself, I feel for jakirah - and I encourage her to go with her instincts to not abort the baby. However, I would recommend that she let the baby go via adoption - the baby will have a better life with a stable, loving family and jakirah, being an honor student, will be able to go on with her studies, graduate from college someday and get a good job. jakirah, having a baby is a privilidge, not a right - listen to the advice and give your child the opportunity to have a safe and secure family environment. It is the most unselfish, loving thing you can do.

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mothertobe

replied on August 28th, 2009

New User

I have gone through just as much as you. Maybe even more

I am 14 and pregnant too. Do what you want. Do what you feel is best for you. Do what will make you happy. I am pro-life so I do not believe in abortions... But if that is what is best for you and if that is what makes you happy then do that. Do not stress. Your baby feels what you feel. Stress leads to miscarriage. I love my boyfriend too. He is the same age as me though. He is nice to me and he supports me. We both want our baby and we hope to get married when we're 18 and we want to have more children in the future after we are married. I have issues with my dad and his family right now. My mom and my dad are fighting in a huge custody battle. If dad gets custody my boyfriend can't be in the picture and my baby will be in danger and won't be an alvarez.

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BreanneLynn92908

replied on September 9th, 2009

New User

I am 14 too. My boyfriend doesn't want me to keep it. He wants me to have an aboriton, hes like if you keep it you can go find a different boy && have the bby call him dad, i want nothing to do with it. But I talked to him, I was like you know what, it's my body, we have been together for a year, && whatever choice I make, you will have to like. Hes like i wont suport it, i said please if you truly love me, so he is going to, i am so against abortions, my family is supporting me && everything so. Just have a talk with your mom, be like mom please, youre my mother, && you should let me make my own decision. Be like abortions can hurt your organs && everything. Look stuff up about it. Then be like i might as well have the baby then just kill it. She will prbably feel bad. If you ever need to talk, write me.

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ProudMommyof2008

replied on September 9th, 2009

Active User, very eHealthy

there are other options other than abortion.
and sure, thats fine that you make your own choices on your body, but now YOU are responsible for that choice of keeping a child-financially, emotionally, physically.
unless you can provide all those things on your own, plus care for yourself completely without assistance and care from your family, they are affected in this decision too. because now they are obligated to care and raise that child financially, because you cannot provide a home, insurance, the medical cost to birth that child, doctors appts., food, clothes etc. etc. etc.
so its not just you that is affected in this huge situation, everyone is affected.

and what you said, its homicide, that is really rude to say, because for some people, abortion is the right way to go. and since its their body its the right choice for them because some know that they cannot afford a child, are not ready for a child, are too young for a child or are raped etc.
so that choice they make, is the right one and you should not bash that choice that some do make.

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ProudMommyof2008

replied on September 9th, 2009

Active User, very eHealthy

ive been where you are and im older than you.
i had my son at 19 got pregnant at 18.
it is not all peachy and rainbows dancing around.
the reality will hit you when the baby is born.
it is not an easy task, and you are very wrong if you think it will be easy and the best thing and life you have ever. it means alot of sacrifices for your part and families part.
im not judging you that is the reality.
and i dont need to watch abortion videos im not a sick person.
that is still a choice some make. one i would make too if i were raped.

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Phenicks

replied on September 13th, 2009

Experienced User

If you want to have your baby you should. But you have to seriously look into childcare/daycare if you want to finish school, getting a job so that you can have money to buy clothes, crib, car seat, bottles and everything else the baby needs. Just like your om pays for everything for you, once YOU become a mom you buy everything for your child. Your dad may be supportive, if your mom doesn't want to take care of your child she can't be forced to do that so though you don't want to move out- it isn't your choice.

I'm sorry your boyfriend was and is being so cruel to you. He obviously wasn't ready for the responsibility of fatherhood but that's no excuse for the way he's treating you. There are government programs out there to help young mothers take care of and raise their children. Look into the programs in your area some even help with housing.

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Darkmoon

replied on October 1st, 2009

Active User, very eHealthy

First off, I want to say you should dump this loser who keeps deliberately getting you pregnant. He's going to destroy your future. I don't want to sound judgmental but you shouldn't even be having sex at your age, let alone trying to have a baby. You need to finish school and gain the financial stability to take care of yourself before you contemplate having a baby.

That being said, there's no point in shutting the barn door after the horse has escaped. You're the only one that can ultimately decide whether you can tackle the challenge of parenthood. We all have our opinions but we don't know you personally and if you think abortion is wrong for you then you should not do it. The best advice I can give at this point is for you to start looking into your prenatal and birthing options.

In closing I will AGAIN stress that you need to get rid of this so-called "man" who is using you. You owe it to yourself and your child to be free of that creep and if I was your mother I'd cut off his d*ck and make him eat it for supper.

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kclrk24

replied on October 25th, 2009

New User

First of all your "18 year old boyfriend" is a petifile. If you are an 18 year old adult you should not be dating a 14 year old child. Thats rape. Second of all, your 14 and not old enough to have sex. If your not mature enough for a baby your not mature enough for sex. Im not trying to say your a bad person for being pregnant and having an 18 year old boyfiend. I was in a situation similar when i was 15 and the boy was 19. He pressured me into having sex for the first time. I snuck out of my house to hang out with this boy. Eventually my mom caught me and another girl turned him in because he had sex with her a few months earlier. I later found out that he had been charged with satitory rape 4 other times. I wasnt the first or last underage girl he pressure into having sex. It ruined my life. Young girls believe anything cute boys say. If i were you i would get rid of the boy and keep the baby. If you got an abortion you would have to live with that the rest of your life. It could also decrease the chance of you being able to become pregnant when your ready.

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oopoopoop

replied on October 25th, 2009

Extremely eHealthy

kclrk24 wrote:

If you got an abortion you would have to live with that the rest of your life. It could also decrease the chance of you being able to become pregnant when your ready.

If you go ahead with the pregancy you would have to live with that for the rest of your life, so be prepared for 18 years or more of hard labour. Also, please note that it is pregnancy and childbirth, not abortion, which are far more likely to result in subsequent infertility. If you go ahead with an unwanted pregnancy, be prepared for the medical complications that can cause. Yes, just google it for more information.

Note to all posters: this thread was started almost four years ago, so any advice to the OP is a bit late.

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kclrk24

replied on October 25th, 2009

New User

I didnt stick my "big nose" in anyones business. If you dont want the advice then dont post your private life on a forum asking for advice! Its that simple. Im not trying to make choices for anyone. If i had a pregnant 14 year old daughter i would not kick her out. And i certainly wouldnt let her have an abortion. She made the decision to have sex and she should face the consequences. If you bail your child out everytime they face hardships they will never learn anything. And if you just reject your child everytime they make a mistake your enabling them to make more.

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motherofhighspiritedones

replied on October 25th, 2009

Moderator

kclrk24 wrote:

I didnt stick my "big nose" in anyones business. If you dont want the advice then dont post your private life on a forum asking for advice! Its that simple. Im not trying to make choices for anyone. If i had a pregnant 14 year old daughter i would not kick her out. And i certainly wouldnt let her have an abortion. She made the decision to have sex and she should face the consequences. If you bail your child out everytime they face hardships they will never learn anything. And if you just reject your child everytime they make a mistake your enabling them to make more.

What if your 14 year old daughter was raped? Would you force her to carry the fetus to term? What if the pregnancy threatened her life? You are looking at the black and white of things...I am looking at the grays.
And not allowing your child the choice of which decision to make in regards to her pregnancy is opressing her right to choice and excercise of responsibility, therefore, she will never learn that she has her OWN voice.

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kclrk24

replied on October 25th, 2009

New User

I will agree with you on that. If my daughter was raped i wouldnt force her to have it, and who ever raped her wouldnt be alive. But if my daughter got pregnant at 14 because she made the decision to have sex i would make the decision for her. At 14 you dont know whats right and whats wrong. She decided to have sex so she can deal with the consequeces of her actions. Would you let you 14 year old daughter have an abortion if it meant that someday she might not be able to get pregnant when she actually wants a baby? If you let her get an abortion then shes going to think that if she keeps having sex and gets pregnant again you'll just bail her out and get her an abortion so she would care of the consequences witch could lead to other problems. Becoming pregnant isnt the only thing to worry about when having sex. Do you want your 14 year old getting aids? herpies? gonorea? Didnt think so.

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motherofhighspiritedones

replied on October 25th, 2009

Moderator

kclrk24 wrote:

I will agree with you on that. If my daughter was raped i wouldnt force her to have it, and who ever raped her wouldnt be alive. But if my daughter got pregnant at 14 because she made the decision to have sex i would make the decision for her. At 14 you dont know whats right and whats wrong. She decided to have sex so she can deal with the consequeces of her actions. Would you let you 14 year old daughter have an abortion if it meant that someday she might not be able to get pregnant when she actually wants a baby? If you let her get an abortion then shes going to think that if she keeps having sex and gets pregnant again you'll just bail her out and get her an abortion so she would care of the consequences witch could lead to other problems. Becoming pregnant isnt the only thing to worry about when having sex. Do you want your 14 year old getting aids? herpies? gonorea? Didnt think so.

I will let my daughter DECIDE WHAT IS BEST FOR HER. And sorry, you have a higher risk of fertility problems, as pointed out SEVERAL TIMES by doctors, etc, as well as on this forum, by staying pregnant and delivering than you do by abortion. I also will point out that my children will be well-educated on the consequences of sex, be it std's or pregnancy. But ultimately, my children are free as humans to decide what is best for them. And abortion, unlike you think, to some, is NOT an easy decision to make, nor is it a "bail out" method. Yes, there are some out there that will use abortion as birth control, but that is THEIR choice. I CHOOSE to NOT let the actions of others, especially private actions that have no DIRECT effect on me, weigh on my conscience.

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kclrk24

replied on October 25th, 2009

New User

If your daughter is 14 she doesnt know whats best for her. Shes too young to make life changing decisions. When i was young i went through more than anyone could ever imagine. My mother was an alcoholic and my father was too busy with his new family to even pretend that he cared about me. I made alot of life changing decisions that i wish i wouldnt have made and i wish my mother was there for me to make the right decision. So unless you went through those kinds of experiences with making adult decisions you shouldnt be giving advice on them.

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motherofhighspiritedones

replied on October 25th, 2009

Moderator

kclrk24 wrote:

If your daughter is 14 she doesnt know whats best for her. Shes too young to make life changing decisions. When i was young i went through more than anyone could ever imagine. My mother was an alcoholic and my father was too busy with his new family to even pretend that he cared about me. I made alot of life changing decisions that i wish i wouldnt have made and i wish my mother was there for me to make the right decision. So unless you went through those kinds of experiences with making adult decisions you shouldnt be giving advice on them.

First off, you HAVE no idea what I went through. What you went through was rough, but it pales in comparison to my experiences. I have been through all sorts of abuse. Heck, I WAS A TEEN MOTHER. You would know this if you bothered to read any of my other posts. So don't tell me that I should not be giving out information. My information is solid, not backed by personal morals and beliefs. Hence why I am prochoice. I can see what may make one feel that abortion is the right decision. I can see what would make one think that adoption is the right decision (although adoption is something I WOULD NEVER consider) and I can also see why someone would think parenting is the best choice. You however, cannot grasp why abortion might be right for someone to do. My daughter will be INFORMED on all choices regarding sex, and at 14, she will be armed with the knowledge to MAKE A SOUND CHOICE. Knowledge is power, thus it IS entirely possible to know what decision is best to make regarding personal choices. Saying that a 14 year old is too young to make life changing decisions is not entirely accurate. Let's take a DNR for example. A DNR is a do-not-resuccitate order. It means that if you should have an injury or illness that is incompatible with you carrying on life, then you want the "plug pulled" so to speak. Can one truly know that is what they want if it has never happened to them? No. But one can make informed decisions based upon their knowledge and personal beliefs regarding that choice.
Put in short, if you arm your child with knowledge, they CAN make a sound and informed decision. You saying that a 14 year old is capable of RAISING a child is just as ridiculous as if I were to say that abortions MUST be performed on all children or teens that become pregnant (which I do not believe, it is purely an example). I will support my child with ANY decision she makes, even if it is a choice I may not necessarily agree with. That is what a parent does. Please do not confuse this as me supporting my child regarding illegal matters, while I will always have my childrens' backs, they make a bad choice, they do the time.

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kclrk24

replied on October 25th, 2009

New User

A 14 year old isnt capable of raising a child thats why i wouldnt let my child do it on her own. I would be there for her no matter what.

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