realdeal4u you and your husband first need to know why you want a threesome in your sexual relationship. i dont think finding someone you know would be a good idea, but maybe go out socially together to certain venues, im not completely sure. but i think meeting someone in a mature environment would work..

We have no objections to this, we have been doing this for over a half year and we are stronger than ever before. But we are not nakend and I just love the way he does this, I will explain this in my letter.

Make sure to use protection. Even if you think they are clean, you really never know unless if you get them tested right before you start.

Hi, what do you mean with being tested? The one we do this is 21 and has never been with anyone. he only has me and he likes me this is all I can say on here. this is all one word.

This is a really old thread

I dont have a great deal of sexual experiance but after my boyfriend started to suggest we get engaged I realised I wanted to experiance physical closeness with other people. It is not that I am 'bored' with my partner and it sounds like you and your husband have also talked about it and ensured you feel emotionally comfortable with experimenting.

I would strongly recomend getting to know whoever you chose well and to talk to her honestly about what both she and you want. This honesty on your part will alow you build trust with the new person and hopefully enable you to assertain they don't have any STI's or motives conflicting with your own (as in "not perfects" case). Try not to let your eagreness to experiament draw you into accepting an undersirabe third wheel. It might be an idea to form a fun aquaintance with another couple in a similar circumstance rather than an individual so you will be on equal terms.

I am mildly shocked by some of the opinions expressed about threesomes as it is evident you have a considered view that is perfectly valid. If you want to explore sex with women and well as men then go for it, you only live once and if you are curious I think its great you're doing something about it.

People have alot of preconseptions about people interested in experimenting, does anyone have any informed (open minded) advice about how to prevent aquantances who get to know I like to try differant things not assuming I'm up for anything with anyone? Sex is not my only interest and I want to be respected no matter what my personal choices.

Best of Luck

I am personally not into this sort of thing, but I won't condemn you for it. Just be sure you are not doing this just for him. Do it b/c you want to. Be prepared for the problems it WILL cause. I know several couples who have done this and NOTHING good came from it.

having a 3some is hard for me because i cant c my boyfriend touching n kissing n his dick n her i cant it. I am very insecure n jealous i know im not supposed to..I love my boyfriend alot matter fact too much.. I know he dont want another penis in me neither do I. Hey I'm trying to be all he needs and desires. I try to switch up when it comes to the sex thing you know everytime we do it i switch up personalities and names and outfits.. Ive been naughty everytime just b4 you try to have a 3some try all posibilities first because it can make you and break you its a mental thing so try it till then stay blessed reply back to me if u can .... I typed all this on my iphone!!!!

My experience, after being with my husband for many years, and he having cheated on me in the past which he greatly regrets. We decided to open up about everything. We became obsessed with each other again like we have 7 years before, but this time we were much older and much more comfortable with each other. We talked about fantasies. Both of us desired to have a three some. Neither of us knew who it would be with, just knew we were both game for the opportunity when it arose. Well, it did. We went out of town for a trip which happened to be when my husbands best friend now lives. Through the wonders of text message, a night out to have some drinks was quickly arranged into a night of sexual fun. It was amazing for me, and did leave me wanting more. This person is also a friend of mine since we all grew up together, the problem is, my interaction with him, leaves me wanting more of him. He touched me ways that my husband does not. It has been a few months now, and now my husband feels like I am not holding my side up since we have had no interaction with a female. I am very hesitant now, cause I don't want feelings to develop between he and the other female as it did between our friend and I. I feel like I cant tell my husband that, because it could trouble their friendship, and ultimately our friends marriage if too much heat arose from it and his wife was to find out. I am fortunate that our friend is several hours away, so I know that nothing will happen, but I still cant help but feel guilty for knowing that if there were fewer miles, I would be caught up in an affair. I would say be careful, but I thought that we were. We chose him because I knew he wouldn't do anything I didn't want to. I didn't realize there was an attraction till I was on top of him, kissing and I didn't want it to ever end.

I don't understand why ppl bring threesomes into a marriage or committed relationship. that's something you do amongst people you really dont care about

I view being able to do a threesome in a marriage or committed relationship as a very high level test. Most people are too insecure to deal with it, and doing it would often lead to failure as people realize their own insecurities, or their partner's flaws. I'm not advocating threesomes, I don't think it's really my style, but if a couple can attempt and succeed at a threesome without damaging the relationship, kudos to them, they are far more comfortable with their relationship then 99% of the population.

my boyfriend keeps insisting about having a 3 some.....he tells me its his fantasy, yadda yadda yadda... i have had one before, one drunken night with my old boyfriend and my best friend, it didnt exactly turn out very well, especially the next day when i found him over at her house.
any ways, i dont know if i should have the 3 some with my current boyfriend. we live together, and are really happy and really in love and i dont want anything to ruin it. he did ask me once to ask a friend of mine(whom he told me he had a "crush" on), i did (sort of kidding around with her) and no luck....i have been reading up differnet ways of finding a partner for this.. and even if i want to do it....
im totally confused. the idea does turn me on, but i know i don't like the idea of my boyfriend with anyone else.
help!!!!!!

You said you aren't insecure, but you sure do sound like you are here!

Why is anyone discussing their opinions on threesomes? Did anyon ask you what your worldly view was? No. So can it.

In my opinion, it's best to do something like this with a person you trust and have talked to about a possible threesome for a long time. The most important thing to do is to set boundaries. If you think for even a second you might be uncomfortable watching your husband in a particular act, position, etc at all, let him know that is off-limits. A threesome is more than just sex, as someone else said. You have to be 100% mentally prepared for something like that and you have to be sure it won't hurt your relationship.

hummmm

My husband and I have had a few threesomes.....with another male. Now my husband wants to find a female to bring in. I am perfectly fine with the idea. It in no way has threatened our relationship....it has only enhanced it. The only problem is finding one. It was easy to find a male......I am interested in how to find another female too.......

You are definitely not the only woman thinking about having a threesome. My fiance and I really want to try it with another girl, but we have no idea how to find some one. Same issue as you. When we were waiting for a flat tired to be replaced, Firestone, had the view on. I have been trying to find out people's opinions on threesome, and on the show, (though I know statistics arent that trustworthy,) it said 25% of Americans have tried it. I figure if the relationship is really strong and you want to experiment go for it. Besides I think it could be fun. Good luck

I just wanted to give an alternative female view to a subject that comes up from time to time on this and other sites. The subject of men wanting thier wives to paticipate in 3somes or whating them having sex with others.
I have been married to my wonderful husband for many years now and our sex life has always been very good.
Like many others we discuss our fantasies and one of his always involed me having sex with another man.
I was never disturbed by this as that all it was a fantasy. However we he sugessted we actualy make it a reality I was completey against it as I had no need or desire to have sex with anyone but my husband. For a couple of years he would bring it up from time to time. I did research this on this and other forums as I was a little disturbed that my husband actually wanted me to do this. In the main all the advice was do not do this as it will wreck a relationship with issues of jealosy ect.It did occur to me however that these comments mainly came from women that had not acutally encountered the experience.
Many months later me and hubby had a very serios chat and I agreed that I would go along with this but only with conditions.
1. Not in the family home
2.Not with anyone we knew
3 Safe sex only
4. I could change my mind at anytime
and lastly, and this may sound strannge, I did not want my husband present. This was I would feel so self consious with him there. I was already nervous about the whole thing and having him there would only add to my anxiety. I know other will find this strange but it was just the way i felt. He agreed to all the conditions he was disaponted he would not be there but we could discuss indetail evrything that happened after the event.
So Husband searched the internet and found somone that seemed 'normal' and looked ok.
weeks later we left the kids with grandparents while we went to a hotel for the weekend.
On the prearrage evening me & Hubby sat in the hotel bar waiting for him to show. It was agreed that if he seemed creepy or for whatever reason I felt uncomftabe we would call the whole thing off. Anyway he turned up and seemed pretty nice. I was so nervous I was physically shaking and all the time wondering if I was risking years of marriage for i night of sex.
Eventually my husband asked if I felt ok to go upstairs to the room. With my voice shaking I said yes and kissed him softly saying I hope we wont regret this. I left him in the bar and myself and this man went up to the room. I remember making stupid smalltalk in the lift about the weather and thinking here I am about to sleep with a complete stranger.
When we got in the room I suddenly realised I had not actually considered what would happen at this point. Was I supposed to do something like kiss him or undress or what. Thankfully he took the lead. I wont bore everyone with all the deatils as to what hapeend as this post inot supposed to be erotic and its already long. Suffice to say he stayed for 2 hours. The sex was very differnt not better than husband but just different and very exiting. About 5 minutes after he left my husband came into the room and asked if I was ok I said I was but more importantly how are you. He came over undressed and made passionate love to me He came very quickly and then asked me to recount all the details. As I did he became hard very quickly and we again made love. We repated this 6 time that evening with every time me telling him what happend he got hard again. He has never been able to do this in all the years we have been married.
The next day neither of us has any bad feelings and over thye next few months continually relived that night in our lovemaking. Since that night we have had the bset sex since our marrige began.
We have since repeated the experience with another, this time I was comfterble enough to allow my husband to be present and paricipate. Again it was a fantastic experience and I cannot explain how lovely it is to look into my husbands eyes or passionatly kiss hime while someone else pleasuring me.
The reason I have posted this is because Although I had no desire to ever have these experiences I can honsetly say it has enriched our life. We have had no issues of jealosy, neither do I have any intention of living the rest of my life with anyone but my husband. Yes Some may be more endowded/Physically attractive than my husband but he is the one I love and make love to, anyone else is just sex. Its not for everone but it has vastly added to our marrarige and guess what, neither of us have been struck down by lightning.

POLYAMORY has nothing to do with threesomes. Its about love and open, commited relationships. You want to piss a poly off go out looking for a hot bi babe to join you and your husband. On the other hand, if your looking to open your relationship, allow your husband to LOVE and have a relationship with other people freely and openly and him allow you the same then polyamory might be what your looking for. If you are just looking for a third for sex, look into swinging sights. However, bear in mind that most swingers are commited couples that have pretty stringent rules on their sexual encounters.

Threesomes can be incredible with the right frame of mind but most people break down AFTER the fact. You need to be secure with yourself and your partner. Even the slightest inkling of doubt and it should be a no go.

me and my boyfriend are thinking of having a 3some but only with another female he would never want to share me with another man. i'm bi so i dont mind the idea but i doubt i would let them engage in sexual intercourse he's more into the idea of them both playing with me though, me and her rubbing our breasts against each other kissing etc its a fantasy of his which I don't mind going through with because we would both get pleasure out of it but the trouble is finding a willing female.. we are both attractive 20-21yr olds very comfortable with each other we believe nothing in the bedroom can be wrong if we enjoy it.