Finding a Partner For Threesome Posted: 12-09-05 01:04am
My husband and I are considering a
threesome. How/where do we find a willing
partner that we can trust (clean/std-free)
outside our friend circle?
I'd like some feedback from someone who
has had personal experience.
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realdeal4u
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Dec 2005 Posts: 11 Location: MS
Posted: 12-11-05 00:56am
Anyone have any feedback at
all?...Opinions?....Anything?
Am I the only woman out there that is
considering this?
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aogolden24
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Dec 2005 Posts: 7
Posted: 12-12-05 12:53pm
My husband and I have participated in
3somes before. We knew the person and he
works with my husband. It was wierd at
first for me, being around him - but it
gradually got better. There has been no
wierd air between my husband and him
though. I would recommend you choose
someone that you know well enough
(diseases) and make sure that you're
mentally prepared. There's alot more to
it than just sex.
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Landailyn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Oct 2005 Posts: 10
Posted: 12-13-05 03:02am
From all i've heard, threesomes and
swinging cause way more problems in a
marriage than they could ever help. I
think its disgusting.
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rita_b
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jun 2005 Posts: 33
Posted: 12-13-05 03:34am
Well..I think you should only go for a
stranger for a threesome even better do so
while you are on a vacation outside your
town. Its really embarrasing if you do
that with anyone known to you as things
may get complicated later or at least all
of you will feel uncomfortable when you
meet that person in social gatherings
etc.
Regarding safety of stranger, you may have
an idea after talking to him or let your
husband first meet him and then if looks
ok then proceed. Always go for safe sex,
tell him to use condoms, so a starnger
will be best this way.
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ergit
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Dec 2005 Posts: 41
Posted: 12-15-05 19:09pm
I find it a little odd that the husband
would be ok with this kind of thing.
Personaly if it was me id ditch any girl
who would think of doing this kind of
stuff. All it shows is that she has lost
interest in me and in our relationship.
Not worth the trouble.
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alicetooljam2
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Dec 2005 Posts: 5
Posted: 12-16-05 22:10pm
Why has everyone assumed another man,
maybe they are looking for a woman...If it
is another man, is this your fantasy or
his?
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realdeal4u
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Dec 2005 Posts: 11 Location: MS
Posted: 12-17-05 02:59am
Thanks alice for realizing that. I had
about given up on this site and gone to
another.
This started out as his "thing", but after
many jokes from him I confessed to a
same-sex kiss iin my past. It all sprang
from there. So to answer your question,
it is both of ours.
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realdeal4u
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Dec 2005 Posts: 11 Location: MS
Posted: 12-17-05 03:03am
........And yes we are looking for a
woman.
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nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2607 Location: ,
Thanks: 17
Thanked:13
Posted: 12-17-05 09:38am
landailyn
wrote:
from all i've heard,
threesomes and swinging cause way more
problems in a marriage than they could
ever help. I think its
disgusting.
totally disgusting. It is demoralizing
to see the decay around us.
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pagan21
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Dec 2005 Posts: 1 Location: Georgia
Posted: 12-18-05 19:51pm
If you think it is so wrong, why come to
this section. I have found that it helps
if you casually know someone. Not know
them on a personal level just a casual
friendship. I had my first threesome
after jokingly brought it up in a
conversation.
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munky23
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Dec 2005 Posts: 130
Posted: 12-19-05 12:33pm
You have to know the person really well.
I imagine that the only people wanting to
be part of a threesome have been with a
lot of partners and probably have std's.
Unless if you have someone really close to
you, it will be very difficult.
Let me add a threesome can destroy a
marriage. Learn to enjoy each other and
try new things or new places with each
other. You don't need to add another
person into the mix.
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Kiemister
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 136 Location: ,
Posted: 12-30-05 18:50pm
nightangel73
wrote:
landailyn
wrote:
from all i've heard,
threesomes and swinging cause way more
problems in a marriage than they could
ever help. I think its
disgusting.
totally disgusting. It is demoralizing
to see the decay around
us.
i totally agree, horrible...Unless its
with 2 women! Lol, no. It really takes
away the love in the marrige. I mean, its
pathetic, filling that void with another
person.
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penelope67
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jan 2006 Posts: 114 Location: NH
Posted: 01-12-06 18:43pm
I dont think it is disgusting at all, and
if I did, I wouldnt be rude enough to say
it. My boyfriend has always dreamed af
having a threesome with two girls and I
think it would be fun as well. I dont
think that wanting to have a threesome
means you have lost interest in the
relationship, because me and my boyfriend
love each other so much. I think that a
lot of people dont want to have threesomes
because they are insecure. (im not saying
everyone) it is very hard to find the
right person, because I want someone who
is clean, but I dont want someone I know
well, because I dont want a friendship to
become weird (i wouldnt be weird, but I
would be afraid of the other person being
weird) I guess the best way to find
someone is to look online for someone who
lives close to you and get to know them
really well first and make sure you click,
because if not, they might be a weirdo.
Its a hard question-i just wanted to let
you know you are not alone, and maybe I
helped?!
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czarg
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jan 2006 Posts: 68 Location: Lagos-Nigeria
Unbelievable Posted: 01-13-06 20:24pm
Pls wat is happening around here? Why r
pple doing these?
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Tiphany
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jan 2006 Posts: 8 Location: wilton,nh
Rent the Zebra Lounge Posted: 01-13-06 20:37pm
The zebra lounge is a b movie it may be
hard to find. It stars stephen baldwin
and the girl from buffy the vampire slayer
the movie. It is about a couple that
fantasizes about such things and then they
get wrapped up with a couple that becomes
obsessed with them. If you think you want
to try a threesome maybe you should just
watch some dirty movies together. I have
a friend that did this with her husband
with another girl and she ended up crying
and getting really jealouse and everyone
was emberassed and awkward. Then she
couldn't shake the images of what he was
doing to the other girl. She was into
doing it with the girl too but couldn't
enjoy herself for the distraction of his
pleasure with her.
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penelope67
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jan 2006 Posts: 114 Location: NH
Posted: 01-15-06 16:37pm
Everyone is different. Me and my
boyfriend dont have a problem with things
like that, because we arent insecure, and
I am not a jealous person. Im just saying
that what might work for one person might
not work for another and vice versa. Dont
assume that everything is always one way
or set in stone. Open up your mind a
little and you might realize that too.
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not perfect
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 135 Location: Illinois
Posted: 01-16-06 04:54am
People should really get their
experimenting out of the way before they
get married or even settle down with a
bf/gf.
With an ex bf (ex fiance actually), we
tried the whole 3some thing. He always
wanted to have one with two other girls
and I was curious about it as well.
The day came where we were going to have
one. The girl we met, we all had gotten
tested together (just to make sure no one
had anything). We all went to my fiance's
house and went into the bedroom. Well,
they started practically pouncing on each
other, undressing each other and leaving
me out of the equation. I undressed
myself, waiting for my fiance ya know.
Well, they pretty much ignored me and
started having sex with each other! I
just stood there in shock. I couldn't
believe my eyes. I felt like I was just
watching him cheat on me. I started
talking, they ignored me. I started to
yell after they were ignoring me, still
ignored me. So what did I do? I pulled
the little prostitute off of him and told
her to get the f*ck out.
They were both yelling at me, she just
stood there naked. I hurried up and got
my clothes back on. She was still
standing there naked, and kept trying to
go over to the bed where my fiance was. I
pushed her back once again. I ended up
taking all of her clothes, shoes, and
purse and threw it outside. Then I pushed
her outside and locked the door. Then my
fiance was pissed off and was yelling at
me more. So I told him that I just
basically stood there watching him cheat
on me. He tried apologizing and
everything. I later forgave him. Then he
said that we should try it once more. I
told him there's no way i'm ever going to
do that again. I'm not a jealous person,
never have been, but that night, I got
super jealous (obviously).
Well, a couple months down the road, I
find out that he has been having sex with
that girl after the "3some". I go over to
his house and see a familiar car in the
driveway, I walk in (had a key to his
place), he's no where to be found. I go
to his bedroom and the door is shut and I
hear noises. I walk in and see him and
her having sex. Again I pull her off of
him, but beat the crap out of her this
time. I take off my ring and throw it out
the window and tell him to never call me
again.
I now don't know how anyone in their right
mind, that seriously loves someone, would
want to bring another person into their
relationship. All it does is cause more
damage and you lose the love you have for
one another. Bringing another woman into
the relationship is just going to make him
think it's ok to have sex with other women
when you're not around.
People who choose not to bring another
person into their relationship doesn't
mean they're insecure. I believe that
when you're with a person, you are only
with them, no sex with others. When
you're married and you do that, you're
breaking your vows that you gave on your
wedding day, making your marriage
worthless and fall apart.
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jmegee
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 39 Location: Virginia
Posted: 01-16-06 15:22pm
People can be so judgemental! I feel
everyone has their right to lead their own
lives as they choose and it is no one's
place to tell them that it is wrong or
right. That's why we live our own lives.
I am happily married and have done a few
3 some's. We actually chose to have
another male join us. We went with
complete strangers and it was fun. After
trying this 3 times we decided it wasn't
really what we wanted. We have also
experimented with another couple and it
was ok. But be prepared when going in to
this...It can be quite and emotional and
mental shock to see your loved one with
someone else. Make sure this is
something both parties want 100 percent
and if anyone is feeling uncomfortable at
any point during the process to stop it
immediately.
And oh by the way....It's not always the
woman's suggestion to invite another
man...And yes my husband is 100 percent
straight. Everyone should stay in their
own backyard and not jump to conclusions
about others.
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wife_and_mom4life
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 53 Location: Amherst VA
Posted: 01-16-06 18:11pm
Wow! I'v never really thought seriously
about a threesome with my husband. When I
was a little younger I had some crazy
times with guys (which I am very ashmed of
now) but never with another girl and a
guy. I would never have a threesome now
because for one, I am a christian and I
don't believe that it is right, your body
is for your spouse sexually... Nobody
else. The other reason is, I don't like
the idea of .M.Y husband being inside
another women. I mean, I may just be the
jealous type but the thought of his hands
all over another women and his penis in
her really gets to me! Well, that's my
opinion! I'm not talking down on any of
you who have done it (because I have my
self, and regret it now) or any of you who
are thinking about doing it.