Relapse

My name is kathy. I'm 18 and i've been dealing with bulimia for the past year. I tried once around may to stop and I didn't purge until august when I left for college. I've been somewhat weight conscious since 4th grade but it didn't become really bad until my junior and senior year. In addition to that I had a really stressful senior year with several deaths and loss in my family. I also had only had 1 boyfriend and thought that if I weighed less I could be more attractive. I began to eat less and count calories. I also started to run but that didn't work too well because I have asthma. I didn't feel that I was losing enough weight and I still wanted to be skinnier. I remember the day I started when the thought of throwing up my food just came into my head and it seemed to make a lot of sense. So I began to do it every few days, then I did it more often and it became everyday. Months later in an anatomy class, we talked about eating disorders and how bad they are for you and I decided that I had to stop. It was pretty hard the first few weeks and I was tempted a lot but I got through it. Then I went off to college and I had a really hard time. I think the stress was too much for me and I vomited again but only did it once and then stopped. But in november, my brother in law was killed in a car accident and I threw up 4 times in 5 days. I felt bad about it but what scared me was how it felt good at the same time and how easy it was to start doing it again. I thought that I was doing pretty good dealing with my ed but i'm having more trouble than I thought. Can anyone give me some advice?