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Q: 2nd Baby On the Way And Alone Again...

asked by: kiddosma on December 5th, 2005

New User

Well my story in a nutshell...
I got married at 19 to an older man (i'm now 24 going on 25). I got pregnant right away because he really wanted to start a family. I was very happy though scared. When I was about 3 months pregnant my husband left me and started cheating. He's had nothing to do with our son who is now 4 years old and is a stereotypical deadbeat. He lives over 800 miles away in another state now. I finally after the first 3 years got my order for support but have still not seen a dime.

Earlier this year I got involved with someone who I considered my best friend. We got engaged while he was serving in the army. When he came home for leave I ended up getting pregnant. He was recently discharged from the army and came home. One month later and here I am again. He left me today. The only reason he's given is that he's not in love with me. He's been lying to me about so much. Lying to people about me. He kept telling me he wanted to adopt my son and now he treats him like a second class citizen and doesn't really care about my son, me, or the new baby. Our relationship got very emotionally and verbally abusive. Though he will not admit his wrong doing in anything. He's tried to convince me to give the baby up for adoption but I won't. Now he's trying to meet women online to have sex I found out and is moving across the country to live with his dad leaving me alone with all the responsibilities. He's very cruel and heartless to me now. Doing things to be spiteful. Him leaving I suppose is a blessing in disguise but it's made me feel very badly about myself and terrified of what will happen to me and the kids. He's been making up lies about me and telling people he's going to have this baby taken away from me, though he doesn't want the baby any more. Nothing makes sense right now.

I could use some friends. I've isolated myself since i've been with him and now I feel completely alone. I know eventually everything will be ok. My biggest concern for the moment other than the new baby is my son doing without the man he's come to know as his father since he's never even met his biological dad. I can already see the sadness in his eyes when my exfiance left this morning.

Any advice or words of encouragement anyone can offer?

Replies(6)

Jolie_3110

replied on December 7th, 2005

Extremely eHealthy

I am so sorry that you are feeling so much hurt right now. Its early days and things will get better. I too have a 4yr old son whom has never met his biological father we split up when I was 3months pregnant but before I had even managed to have the baby he was married to someone else! (suffice to say that didnt last long!) I now have an another 18mth old son whos daddy is still around and my other son looks to him as his dad. You have to let yourself get over the heartbreak that you are feeling right now and then think about the future. It is really sad for your son but show him a stable life with just his mummy and new baby and he will soon realise hes still got the most important people around! If it was quite a verbally abusive relationship he will have picked up on alot of that so you may find a nice peaceful home makes him feel more settled anyway! I know it is easy for me to say but try and think of the positives you have a beautiful son another precious baby on the way and you getto have them both all to yourself ! I wish you the best of luck and I come on here alot so if you ever want to talk or need a little support then im here.

fatfamily02

replied on December 7th, 2005

Extremely eHealthy

Re: 2nd Baby On the Way And Alone Again...

kiddosma wrote:

well my story in a nutshell...

I got married at 19 to an older man (i'm now 24 going on 25). I got pregnant right away because he really wanted to start a family. I was very happy though scared. When I was about 3 months pregnant my husband left me and started cheating. He's had nothing to do with our son who is now 4 years old and is a stereotypical deadbeat. He lives over 800 miles away in another state now. I finally after the first 3 years got my order for support but have still not seen a dime.

Earlier this year I got involved with someone who I considered my best friend. We got engaged while he was serving in the army. When he came home for leave I ended up getting pregnant. He was recently discharged from the army and came home. One month later and here I am again. He left me today. The only reason he's given is that he's not in love with me. He's been lying to me about so much. Lying to people about me. He kept telling me he wanted to adopt my son and now he treats him like a second class citizen and doesn't really care about my son, me, or the new baby. Our relationship got very emotionally and verbally abusive. Though he will not admit his wrong doing in anything. He's tried to convince me to give the baby up for adoption but I won't. Now he's trying to meet women online to have sex I found out and is moving across the country to live with his dad leaving me alone with all the responsibilities. He's very cruel and heartless to me now. Doing things to be spiteful. Him leaving I suppose is a blessing in disguise but it's made me feel very badly about myself and terrified of what will happen to me and the kids. He's been making up lies about me and telling people he's going to have this baby taken away from me, though he doesn't want the baby any more. Nothing makes sense right now.

I could use some friends. I've isolated myself since i've been with him and now I feel completely alone. I know eventually everything will be ok. My biggest concern for the moment other than the new baby is my son doing without the man he's come to know as his father since he's never even met his biological dad. I can already see the sadness in his eyes when my exfiance left this morning.

Any advice or words of encouragement anyone can offer?

sad, sad, sad im so sorry. Reach out to .God only .He can comfort you right now. I could say all these witty words but only .He can truly help you.

I know what it is like to trust someone and think they are in the same boat with you--only to find they were not on your side at all. Totally talking against who you are, who you are in .God, who you are as a mother. While telling you a completely different story. Those kind of pple will never change, never see the beauty you have to share, or even the love in your heart. No matter how hard you defend yourself they will never hear a word you are saying--they will never change their mind. And that kind of person can never truly commit themselves to anyone.

Keep your head up .God will help you

bless you in .Jesus name

joanna

Users who thank fatfamily02 for this post: Hiswillbedone

sweetbbw

replied on February 24th, 2009

New User

alone again

i m 31 yrs old have a ten year old daughter and started to date a guy who i thought he would be good in my life. Then found out i was pregnant and he acted totally different and was basiclly a jerk. He also has another daughter from before who is 17 yrs old and he hasnt even told her. Should i have to tell her or let him tell her hopefully someday, ha ha. He kept saying he never wanted more kids, well are both responsible so he should take his half of the reposiblitly. i m tired of feeling alone and having no support from him. i dont know what to do about him? Also what kind of legal things i need to worry about if he decides to try and take the baby if he changes his mind about the whole thing help.

bb242009

replied on March 9th, 2009

New User

alone with 2

My daughters father has been incarcerated for most of her life. we tried to make it work earlier this year but instead he left me for a crack head and now im pregnant again. he wont even come to see his child and i now have him harrassing me and his brother harrassing me cuz i met someone else and even though me and this guy are still just friends, these guys are flipping out on him. its ridicoulus that i cant even move on without my children's father flipping out. i have reported it but there is not much they can do right now because he is on the run, AGAIN. if anyone has advice could they please write me. thank you.

kharizma89

replied on April 8th, 2009

New User

baby daddy drama

i know all too well the definition of baby daddy drama. my ex-fiancee left me about eleven days ago. yes i'm still counting 'cause i love him in spite of all the DRAMA. we've been through police calls, an order of protection, a.c.s reports(all false!!), no money, sleeping on the floor,in his momma's house, no heat, my mom hating, him, ex-boy-friends trying to break us up, his other baby mother..etc. i thought we were stronger than him leaving me. i just recently had another baby on march 3rd. you'd think he'd be happy but obviously he has other things on his mind. i love this man from the bottom of my heart. i even visited him in jail. i've bent over backwards and i just want love and support for me and the kids. when i read the blogs on here it makes me resent him for all he put me through but i pause and say ... it takes two and i wanted my two girls ( i could have had an abortion), i wanted him too but in life we don't always get what we want. GOD has a way of putting you in exactly the place you need to be in . have FAITH in GOD and you can't go wrong. that was my mistake, putting a mere man in front of my CREATOR and KIDS. LADIES STOP STRESSING OVER THESE DEAD-BEAT, SORRY, LAME, CORNY, UN-SUPPORTIVE, SNEAKY, PATHETIC, LOSERS , WE THINK WERE IN LOVE WITH, WHO ARE'NT GOING TO CHANGE AND START OBSESSING OVER GOD AND YOUR PRECIOUS BABIES.

Mommaof2BBgirls

replied 14 hours and 35 minutes ago

New User

I am 25 and going thru a similiar situation. My boyfriend said he wanted a break from us, but that he still loved me and wanted to a family, then the day after I moved out has been seeing someone else. Whom is just not a nice person. Its gotten to the point that he is even telling me now that this child is NOT his and Im a horrible mom and person, thou for a year I had his son with us every weekend and I took care of him. It hurts to think the person I had sooo much love for has betrayed me and everything that I have. He continues to tell me everyday how bad of a person I am, and that NO ONE will ever want me b/c Im 25 with 2 kids and 2 different daddies, and how he'd loved to be a fly on the wall the day I sit down to explain to my 2 girls why they dont have daddies, and its my fault. So he says. Im still tryin to find the strength that I know i have to get past this, but it hurts. . .

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