I think any kind of intimate contact is cheating. Kissing, touching, sex etc. Although I don't think going to strip clubs or porn is. It's a visual thing and there is no contact its just a fantasy. He's not with these women, he's not talking to them, and he's right he can't touch them. But that's just my personal opinion about it. Many would disagree. One thing I do think is cheating is contact with someone over the internet (like chat rooms, ims, things like that) i.F. It turns sexual because he is interacting with them. It's no longer a fantasy because he can be with them. I guess it just comes down to what you beleive and what offends you.

It really depends on a persons perspective of it. To me, cheating is sharing something that you feel is a special part in your relationship with somone else (like sex for instance). To him, kissing may be something that he thinks is special and that only you should share only with him, not with other people. Some people draw the line at hugging, thats why its really up to how you feel.

Cheating............Cheating is doing anything that inappropriately involves you emotionally or physically with another person.

Having feelings for your coworker, mailman, pool boy, or spouse's best friend that go beyond "i like you as a friend" to "i desire to see more of you, or know more about you" are inappropriate. The actually thoughts are not cheating,(they are inappropriate) any action on them is cheating.

Physical contact that goes beyond "oops, excuse me" (bump into on elevator) or "hey good job" (pat on the back), to deliberate touching that could be conveyed as affectionate, is also inappropriate. You should probably not give the pool boy a neck rub, or even a coworker a peck on the cheek. An occasional hug would not be cheating, maybe the coworker lost a parent, or found out spouse was cheating, a hug could be in order.....One hug, not two......One...Lol.

Kissing for passion, is cheating. Strip clubs are technically not cheating, but I would like to stipulate that going there with out letting partner know, would most likely be considered inappropriate as the omission of not telling the partner leads one to believe there is a reason, and not an appropriate one. And frequenting the strip club..........I would say on more than a monthly basis, could be unhealthy. Most men have a strong enough sexually appetite they do not need to see the menu more than that. Weekly visits are borderline, more than weekly.......????????? Not cheating.......Bad relationship in my opionion. The only reasons strip clubs are not cheating, are 1) there is no emotional attachment for the guy and 2) touching is highly regulated. By frequenting a place often, a guy could become emotionally attached to one of the strippers.

I say put the foot on the other shoe. If what you are doing is something you would not want your partner doing.......Stop!!!!

Just my opinion of course.

Stop kidding yourself, ladies. I am a woman with a backbone, and strip clubs and porn is most definitely cheating!!!!! Get rid of the disrespectful sob and find a respectable man....

I agree that porn and strip clubs is cheating too. I think that if your boyfriend, husband,........ Whatever has to go to strip clubs or watch porno then there girlfriends, wifes..... Aren't good enough for then that they have to look at other women, and I tell my boyfriend that all the time even if hes checking out a chick to the store, obviously im not good enough for him. Right?????????

Don't kid yourself. My husband used to tell me also that there was no touching, but I went with him on two occasions, and there is touching. Not continued touch but enough to peak an already stimulated man.

To me flirting is cheatings ugly cousin............So ur question was stupid.As for ur boyfriend goin to strip clubs........Its like u wanting to go clubbin usually its jus to see wat happens unless they dnt have ne one at home to get some off........My boyfriend used to but he appreciates wat hes got wit me and doesnt even go to the clubs ne more.

my kind of woman!!! I am so tired of other women not standing up and letting their men walk all over them. If you act like a door mat he is going to treat you like one.
Ashlee

but if it irrates you and makes you uncomfortable then you should speak up and say. In a way, it's like going to onto a chat room and majorly flirting. There's no visble link, but at the end of the day, if it makes you feel uneasy, then he should maybe reconsider, especially if it affects the relationship. Tsk, men huh?

Kitty
:)

Cheating is involving yourself with another (not your SO) in such a way that you know is hurtful to your SO. The other entity doesn't necessarily have to be real or even be a person (it could be a fantasy, a lifestyle, a career, a drug, etc.).

Some people are okay with their SOs going to strip clubs or looking at porn. Others are sensitive to time spent with anyone else outside the relationship. (Personally I think both extremes are dangerous, but I'm not in a position to judge what works for others.)

The specifics of cheating are different for every relationship. If both people can't agree or compromise on what constitutes cheating, then it will be a rift. The important thing is to talk constructively with your partner about what hurts you.

Good:
[calmly] I understand that you want to [do some activity, spend time with someone else, etc.], but when you do that, it hurts me. It hurts me because [it makes me feel inadequate/insecure, it erodes the trust I have and want to maintain with you, etc.]. I don't want to feel that way with you, and I'm concerned that if it continues, those feelings will only get worse.

Bad:
[angrily] I hate it when you [do some activity, spend time with someone else, etc.]. Why can't you just stop?!

I agree with ironman and mbogosian's interpretation of cheating, for the most part. In the end, anything you don't like him/her doing is cheating anyway isn't it? For instance, those ladies here who stated that going to the strip club is cheating, believe that because they don't appreciate their man going there. Thus, nobody here or I guess human can truly give an objective, wholly unbiased definition of cheating, their definition is merely limited to their tolerance level. Some people fume just seeing their partner looking/talking about a sexy lady or stud walking down the street, some only view physical intimacy and sexual contact as cheating, others think its the thought that counts as cheating, others don't care and will "cheat" together.

But I personally think that as a couple both partners should strive on increasing their tolerance levels as a sign of a healthy relationship. Any socially healthy person, man or woman, needs their guys/girls night outs. There may be something wrong with him desiring to go to the strip club, but if he gets invited to go from some guy friends after a long day of hard work and you can trust him not to do anything stupid, then what's the harm? Likewise, he should allow you to be able to go to girls night outs lets say clubbing to make it equal. His tendency to go to the strip club, w/e, etc, is wrong if he does not allow you to do similar activities.

I never dated so my comments may be complete "bull" in the eyes of some people, but by never doing so and always watching my friends and helping them with it, I got to see a lot of the trends and issues that are typical in relationships and reached a decision on what would be healthy for if I ever find that special lil lady. I know what I want in a girl this way, and how I must treat her and find a balance. I would definitely let her hang out with her guy friends (without me being there), let her go clubbing and dance with guys, whatever. I know I will feel jealous at times, but I think such an experience is necessary, I for one have lost way too many girl friends because of their jealous controlling boyfriends to become a hypocrite and make her become a social outcast and lose friends. Relationships are more then about yourself no? If I really cared for this girl, shouldn't I consider her social health even if it meant one day I wouldn't be a part of it. If we were to break up, and she has a difficult time transitioning back to single life because she lost a lot of her friends and activities because her bf was her life (which im sure you all know happens often), I'd consider myself very selfish for taking all that away.

So don't give too much comfort territory to the guy, but don't take too much away from him either.

Thats my two cents. Gl!

Not all of us ladies that believe porn and strip clubs are not forms of cheating are kidding ourselves. That is what we believe. OUR opinions, which we are allowed to have. Everyone has a slightly different opinion on what cheating involves. For me, I personally don't care if my husband wants to go to a strip club, Hell, I'd be right there with him handing HIS dollar bills over. I mean, cmon, it's just boobs.

And porn? Are you serious? So you mean to tell me that looking at a Playboy is a form of cheating?? Yeah, OK!
I find that hilarious. If you honestly think your husband isn't looking at boobies, somewhere, you're insane.

I would just like to add that going to strip clubs and watching porn TOGETHER as a couple can be quite fun. It's not cheating unless you *as a couple* think it is.

Hats off to you Mirianne. =) Those are the kind of relationships I respect. Also for recognizing the lizard brains of men in which they just can't avert their eyes from boobies consciously or unconsciously.

P.S. You happen to have a sister about my age that thinks like that? Haha, lol, jpz, I will withdraw and run away now from the watchful forum popos... ::looks left and right in fear::

YAY!

I loved that I grew up with boys. I tend to think more like a man than a women on a lot of issues.

Boys will be boys and go to strip clubs and watch porn. You kind of have to pick your own battles. I'd rather be with him at the club than him lying to me about going.
It's fun anyway. I've been to them with the girls without him. Hah!
Well, before I met him haha. Let's be honest here.

I think it is important to be honest and open in any relationship. You can't place your significant other in a box and expect them not to feel claustrophobic.

I think it's sad that women expect their husbands not to look at any other boobies but theirs. My Anthony would be a sad, sad man if I only allowed him to look at mine. That would get old for both of us.

And by the way, I have 2 sisters, both of which are married

If you look at another woman, you are cheating. If you talk to another woman you are cheating. If you think about another woman you are cheating. If you work with another woman at your company you are cheating. If you call your mother, you are cheating.

For the woman who gets mad that her husband even looks at another woman on the street, you do not want an equal partner, you want a slave. As for the porn issue, I hope my above sarcastic statment says my opinon. How foolish and insecure. Lastly, woman who try to control their men so much, do not want equal partners. They want some one who they can boss around. They mistake respect for just pure selfishness. Thank god, I have not had the pleasure of dating or being in a relationship with such women. Actually, as soon as I got a hint that she was a control freak, I would be out of there, and telling my friends to stay away as well.

Equality goes both ways.

Is a married man that touches other woman at work to be compassionate considered cheating? for example touching another woman's shoulder to explain something. i feel its disrespectful to the wife, but is that over reacting.

i want to stop thinking about cheating on my ex so i might get her back i just love her so much and she was my first, and i can never orgasm in bed with her no matter what unless i masturbate, i want to know whats wrong with me, i could never cheat on her but i can't help but think about it and because i thought about it and told her i thought about it she left me and said she could probably never trust me again but she would consider giving me another chance if i could better myself

Marianne0588, I totally agree with you! I was in disbelief actually after reading some of the posts on here. Cheating is a touchy subject for some and I know everyone has their own opinions on it, as they are intitled to, BUT, LOOKING AT ANOTHER MAN/WOMAN is cheating???!!! How is looking at someone considered cheating? So right now I see the maintaince guy walking the grounds of my townhome complex, I'm cheating on my fiance for looking at him?? That is ridiculous, come on! I've been with my fiance for almost 5 years and even before we met and even now, he's got more female friends than I do that he talks to, I do not consider that cheating, its friendship. And porn, seriously! We also watch porn together and we watch it alone too.

Marianne0588, I totally agree with you! I was in disbelief actually after reading some of the posts on here. Cheating is a touchy subject for some and I know everyone has their own opinions on it, as they are intitled to, BUT, LOOKING AT ANOTHER MAN/WOMAN is cheating???!!! How is looking at someone considered cheating? So right now I see the maintaince guy walking the grounds of my townhome complex, I'm cheating on my fiance for looking at him?? That is ridiculous, come on! I've been with my fiance for almost 5 years and even before we met and even now, he's got more female friends than I do that he talks to, I do not consider that cheating, its friendship. And porn, seriously! We also watch porn together and we watch it alone too.