Catswold! Good for you! You have sparked a glimmer of hope to all who read these! I am not suicidal, but I like to read these and be of help if I can! I suffer from anxiety and depression. It sucks when we know what's wrong, but can't seem to get rid of the feelings or symptoms!
Pray! Ask god to keep working through you to help all who can use it! He spoke to your heart to tell you that you have a reason to live, but that you also need to give him any burdens you may carry. Trust him!! He loves you so much!