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Obsessed With Suicide (Page 1)

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I seem to be feeling better overall but I am obsessed with thoughts of suicide. I can't stop thinking about it. Everyday, almost all day its on my mind. I want to get sleeping pills and overdose. I have attempted suicide in this manner before a couple years ago. Just yesterday in the grocery store I was on the medicine aisle looking at them (the pills). I didn't buy any but wish I had. Here today I stayed out of work with the intention of going through with it. My brain is exhausted from thinking about it. I wish I could let it go and think happy thoughts but I just can't. I want to end this thinking one way or another.
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replied December 1st, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
You should call out to .God he can give you peace of mind--no one else can.
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replied December 1st, 2005
Re: Obsessed With Suicide
I too think about suicide. My husband does not understand the pain I am going through. All his attention is focused around his friends and family including his momma. But it is going to be ok. Jus pray.
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replied December 3rd, 2005
Depression
I think about suicide daily I talked with my dr and she asked if I had a plan and I told her no but, I think about it on a daily basis. I am on medication my family dosen't understand why I am constantly depressed and can't seem to pull myself out of it
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replied December 5th, 2005
Experienced User
We All Feel Like That...
I can get majorly depressed and fall under a suicidal desicion but for some reason my whole body seems to pull itself away from that thought. Because I know no matter what happens, I do that and I let everyone I know down. To see someone smile because of you is pure magic, even if you don't know them. In other words, if you can't make your own self happy, then why not try and make someone else happy instead. Believe me and works wonders. It's stopped me from falling under at times. Give it a go. If it doesn't work then i'm praying for you to one day gain a small smile on your face.

Kitty
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replied August 13th, 2012
thanks for info regarding dipression its very informative
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replied December 5th, 2005
Depression
Thank you so much for your kind words. I should be the happiest girl in the whole u.S.A. I cry for absolutely no reason and
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replied December 5th, 2005
Experienced User
:) your welcome
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replied December 5th, 2005
Everyone that has posted on this topic, needs to realize that there are people out there who love you and how bad it would be for them if you hurt yourself in anyway, my mom tryed to commit suicide I dont kno how many times she went way over the edge once she overdosed on medicines which made a poison in her body she was in the hospital for 3 weeks the doctor said she may only have 24 hours to live, fortunetly she did live, she was put into acoma for a few days to give her body rest! This was the most difficult part of my life, and it just made me think that I was worthless and I was the reason for her wanting to killing herself, I think many people dont realize the pain that your loved ones would feel if that did happen to you. You should reach out to someone who will listen to you, and have a talk with your husband on how you feel.
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replied December 24th, 2005
Experienced User
Exactly...
Exactly...If you can't do it for yourself, do it for the ones you love. :)

that's wehat I do with any challenges that face me when I just know I personally can;t do it, yet I just think of how proud they will be and go fir it!!

Have a good holiday my friends

kitty
xx
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replied December 28th, 2005
tricialynn wrote:
everyone that has posted on this topic, needs to realize that there are people out there who love you and how bad it would be for them if you hurt yourself in anyway, my mom tryed to commit suicide I dont kno how many times she went way over the edge once she overdosed on medicines which made a poison in her body she was in the hospital for 3 weeks the doctor said she may only have 24 hours to live, fortunetly she did live, she was put into acoma for a few days to give her body rest! This was the most difficult part of my life, and it just made me think that I was worthless and I was the reason for her wanting to killing herself, I think many people dont realize the pain that your loved ones would feel if that did happen to you. You should reach out to someone who will listen to you, and have a talk with your husband on how you feel.


what if you have no one left? Then what? Its a lonely world out there with no one
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replied December 28th, 2005
tricialynn wrote:
everyone that has posted on this topic, needs to realize that there are people out there who love you and how bad it would be for them if you hurt yourself in anyway, my mom tryed to commit suicide I dont kno how many times she went way over the edge once she overdosed on medicines which made a poison in her body she was in the hospital for 3 weeks the doctor said she may only have 24 hours to live, fortunetly she did live, she was put into acoma for a few days to give her body rest! This was the most difficult part of my life, and it just made me think that I was worthless and I was the reason for her wanting to killing herself, I think many people dont realize the pain that your loved ones would feel if that did happen to you. You should reach out to someone who will listen to you, and have a talk with your husband on how you feel.


what if you have no one left? Then what? Its a lonely world out there with no one
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replied December 28th, 2005
Experienced User
Reply to All
We never have noone!! We always have god. There are times we can't feel him, but he is there and all you have to do is call out to him and wait! He loves you more than you could ever imagine!!! He will never abnadon you or forsake you!!! Talk to him, he is waiting!
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replied December 28th, 2005
Re: Reply to All
munoz1226 wrote:
we never have noone!! We always have god. There are times we can't feel him, but he is there and all you have to do is call out to him and wait! He loves you more than you could ever imagine!!! He will never abnadon you or forsake you!!! Talk to him, he is waiting!


read no one's posts especially the one about god
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replied December 28th, 2005
Supporter
To all of us who think about suicide, and I am there also, the one thing that helps me the most is realizing that it's the pain (physically and/or emotional) I want dead. I do want to live, I just wish the damn pain would go away.
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replied December 29th, 2005
Experienced User
Catswold! Good for you! You have sparked a glimmer of hope to all who read these! I am not suicidal, but I like to read these and be of help if I can! I suffer from anxiety and depression. It sucks when we know what's wrong, but can't seem to get rid of the feelings or symptoms!
Pray! Ask god to keep working through you to help all who can use it! He spoke to your heart to tell you that you have a reason to live, but that you also need to give him any burdens you may carry. Trust him!! He loves you so much!
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replied December 29th, 2005
Experienced User
Re: Reply to All
no hope wrote:
read no one's posts especially the one about god


i don't mean this offensively, but why shouldn't people talk about god?

People believe in totally different things; overall we all think life is at one stage out to get us; yet if some one wants to believe in something, which can make them stronger each day, then that's fine. You shouldn't push someone back for speaking their beliefs

i'm sorry; I know what you are saying about what you feel, yet you shouldn't kick someone down for speaking their mind and trying to aid you by just letting you know that they have read your post and trying to comfort and aid you.
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replied February 24th, 2011
All of you need to understand that sometimes suicidal thoughts are incredibly difficult to do away with on your own. If you are reading this and you have them, please go consult some professional help. Family does not always understand, and their disapproval can be very hurtful. There is nothing wrong with seeking professional help. If you cannot afford a psychiatrist then look for some state run programs near your locations.
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replied August 19th, 2011
I know there are people that love me and I know it is selfish. But I don't love myself, and how do you explain to doctors, family members, friends what goes on in your head. Just "I am depressed, have OCD and paranoid delusional disorder" How do you explain "I am completely miserable and thoughts of suicide all day". I know where I am spiritually. I have talked to God and go to church. He knows what is going on. I know that when I die I will go to a better place. I am 37 and have had a mental health history since I was 14. Do I want to live the rest of my life like this? No. I do live a "reckless" life now, but don't see being here past 45. I know I will be booking on to a better place. I hope this wasn't a downer for anyone.
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replied August 5th, 2012
wishing to die
I have obsessive suicidal thoughts and have attempted many times. It is good to know that I'm not alone about wishing to die even though I have no reason to. However, I'm waiting for the perfect moment for an excuse to die. That is scary.
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replied August 5th, 2012
I have obsessive suicidal thoughts and have attempted many times. It is good to know that I'm not alone about wishing to die even though I have no reason to. However, I'm waiting for the perfect moment for an excuse to die. That is scary.
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replied August 5th, 2012
I'm not depressed but I still glorify suicide attempts. I'm overwhelmed with college because why should I make a future for myself when I want to sabotage everything?
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replied August 5th, 2012
I'm not depressed but I still glorify suicide attempts. I'm overwhelmed with college because why should I make a future for myself when I want to sabotage everything?
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replied August 5th, 2012
I'm not depressed but I still glorify suicide attempts. I'm overwhelmed with college because why should I make a future for myself when I want to sabotage everything?
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replied June 20th, 2012
Suicide
I think about it all day, every day. I have done research on different methods. I do have a plan. The only thing that holds me back are my grown children. They have no idea about this and it would cause them so very much pain. I of course do not want that. They all live very far away and I am alone, live below poverty level, have no real marketable skills and have a progressive illness that will leave me unable to live much of a life at all. I have been fighting manic depression for almost 30 years, cancer and emphysema. My life is dark and lonely. I want to be happy, I want a life where I can have adventures and enjoy what the world has to offer. I'm 55 yrs old and certainly didn't plan for the day that I'd be ill and alone. It's been 5 yrs, almost 6, that I've been where I'm at right now. My solace is in the fact that I still have the freedom to choose when I want to leave this place. There are some cultures and some schools of thought that honor the choice to die. In the USA it's thought of as the most horrible thing one can do. We all die. Why is it so "wrong" to choose it when life is so painful. I am not interested in staying here. I don't believe that I have ever been happy. I have had fleeting moments, enough to make me think that I know what happiness is but it passes of course. I have talked to God, I have had many therapists, I have meditated, I have tried all I know to try. I have made it my life's effort to manage this dis ease I have and nothing has brought me the relief that is necessary to encourage me to stay on this earth. I'm just tired, very tired.
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replied July 7th, 2013
i want to end it all............... i hate when people can be so cruel and taunt people with their fears.. i felt like committing suicide since i was a teenager. especially after my neighbors told me that they weren't my friends their were fake friends. ever since then my life has been hell. whether anyone believes me or not. parents don't care they think depression is something you can get over, they think its a choice, i however think not. everything is a constant reminder of my failures as a person, daughter,niece, sister everything. my mind is making me out to be a monster that should be locked up in prison or in a mental facility. unless people can read minds and force these thoughts on you. meaning everything i think is right. family hates, the only friend i have hates and everyone else hate. my mind is making me out to be a criminal that i deserve nothing good in life, not a job/career, friends, family of my own absolutely nothing. sometimes i just want to see if i can find out whose really family and friends. i had this thought when too much bullying was happening, i wanted to see if i could work with the police and see if we could stop bullying all together(note they probably wouldn't allow it so i dropped this idea)i wanted either to have me fake suicide, or have someone just say that someone has in order for it to be a big deal, make it a huge thing. have that situation get out of control or make think it was out of control. hopefully it would end it for good meaning any words that put one down, including teases. but i knew they wouldn't go for it. in fact my mind says i did the opposite, that because i didn't do that i acting out and committed a crime and went crazy and out of control and hurt a bunch of people. when i see the opposite that i haven't harmed or did anything to harm.
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