I Am Shocked And Worried About the Teenage Sex Problem

[quote="ryansmommy16"]okay well here is my story.... I got pregnant at 15 married at 15 and had my son at 16. I have been married over a year now. Here is what you got to understand.. I was not a baby.. I was more muture than my parents! My home life made me grow up more quickly. My son gets everything he needs he is a happy healthy 8 month old. I have been with my husband since I was 10 and we love eachother we were neighboors so we spent every second together except at night. We even hung at school. He just had his 20th b-day and I will be 17 the 8th. I am in a yahoo groups for teen mom and have gotten to know a lot of young mothers and they to took the responsiblities. From my experience with ppl I know teen mothers that are taking care of their children way better than 30 years old I know. It is actually sad how teen moms get stereo typed. Not all of us leave our kids with our moms and go out and party with our friends. Not all of us depend on state help not all of us are whores. My husband is the only man I have ever known! I understand where you are coming from but with all do respect you are wrong. As for abortion I do not beleive in it only if the mothers life is in danger. I also believe that parents should be consulted if their child is planning to have an abortion. A lot of girls do it in fear of what their parents might say and if the parents know then maybe they can reassure them and support them and give then another option. Knowing you aren't going to be disowned is the best feeling.[/quote

you are an amazing teenager. When I started this discussion, it was simply about the sex issues among teenagers. It scares me to think that so many are uneducated yet seem to think they know it all. Also that soooo many are having sex. I have known and still know that it is going to happen, but I am still shocked. I was also not condemning teenage mothers. (sorry if it came across that way) there certainly are the ones out there like yourself that can handle the situation, and will be or are good moms. Any 15 yr old that can be a good mom has earned my respect. But stories like yours are rare....In my experience most boys at that age are not ready to give their life for being a father, therefor girls end up giving theirs and raising a child on her own (hopefully with the support of her family). You seem wise beyond your years, and very responsible, and your son is very lucky to have you as his mother.

I am 19, so I guess that I still fall in the teen category. I've never been pregnant, still a virgin as well as my boyfriend of 3 years. We're planning on getting married once we are both done with school.

However, don't back on the topic of sex ed in school. I had sex ed beginning in 4th grade. However, that was almost 10 years ago and I don't remember what was said.

Then at my high school you were required to take a health class but they mainly focused on std's and basically if you use a condom you won't get an std and you won't get pregnant. After reading on this forum I realize that that is not necessarily true. I have learned so much from you women (and men) in the past few months. As sad as it is to admit, but I seriously thoguht that the only way to get pregnant was through unprotected, full throttle sex. I wasn't aware that men had pre cum, that was a new discovery for me. Now I realize that getting pregnant is easier then I thought. Easy enough for me to get scared about it after fooling around with my bf. We've slowed things down since then and I feel so much better and relieved.

And since i'm not preg. I can't talk about being mature while dealing with a pregnancy and/or judge someone because they are pregnant. But I know that my boyfriend and I have been together since I was 16 and him 19. We love eachother very much and do understand what that means. I'm glad that there are women on here that think that teenagers can be mature.

It starts with us as parents to teach our children not to grow-up to fast...... Education is the key to everything!!


Love, tammy

I got a little scattered brained when writing that post I totally got off the subject that I was writing on.. Well please don't judge.. I gave my viginity to my now husband 3 months before my 13th b-day. When opputuntiy comes a knocking stuff happens. We should have not been trusted like we where. I know I am not going to make that mistake with my children. I know where you are coming from looking back I thought I was sooo grown up and ready to make that choice. But now I realize that it was just because I liked the attention from the guy I "loved"... Scary huh how someone that young has those feelings? Now that my husband and I look back we do not understand how we were able to do it that young.. I was 12 and he was 15. Well here is what I was getting to I have a little brother he just turned 13 and when he turned 12 I just couldn't help to think that was the age when I lost my innocence. I can't imagine him doing that he is still a little kid and to think of him in an adult situation just makes my head spin. It makes me sick at my stomache when he was just 10 he knew what sex was and he talked about wanting to have it. Where did he find this out? School.. His little buddies had been playing the sex ed teacher. It is a shame. I want to home school ryan but I know I am going to have to let go and set up a relationship where he knows if he has a question to get the answers from me not his friends.That's all I can do right? Also I can't believe that all these kids are having sex just because someone breaks a little colored braclet I mean what happened to love and romance? This world is going to hell in a hand basket...This is getting really long so I am gonna quit.. :wink:

I have gave up a lot since becoming a mom I quit my school to home school. I felt that I needed to raise my son and not stick him on anyone.Well the truth is I didn't want to leave him either..Lol.Before I had him I didn't do much my boyfriend was my life we spent every minute of everyday together who needs girl friends when you have your b/f which is your best friend? Well anyway there was still the possiblity then that if I wanted to do something with my friends I could just cancel with daniel and gives us a break from eachother. Well once I got pregnant I quit getting offers to go somewhere with them and after a while I got less and less phone calls from them and eventually they stopped calling all together. I never thought that would hurt my feeling but it did. Also I do miss school.. Heck I practcally ran it..I was on the yearbook staff and where I am from that means you have a press pass to do anything you want.I chose to of course go to my boyfriends class and hang out. Okay about wishing you waited...Here is my thinking..Every egg is unique and every sperm are unique if ours were not united at that time I would never had ryan.If I had waited you see when I got pregnant I would have conveived his sibling not him. Then I wouldn't have my little angel baby. So sometimes when I think about how we should have waited I think about that.I miss all that stuff I mentioned above/ but my son is way more important I would rather be here listening to him babble and laugh then out doing my own thing and I still have my best friend which I can do anything with when I want to and the baby can come along too. Oh and thanks cece but I think I am the lucky one to have ryan not him having me. :smile: if you want to see him go to www.Ratemybabypics.Com type in username ryansmom16 at the top.. Enjoy>>

I just wanted to say I am surprised at these young teens having sex as well. I am only 20 (21 here soon), but we did have sex-ed and health classes in school, starting in 5th grade. But that was more of "what's going on with your body" since a lot of the girls were hitting puberty already.

Just the other day at the store I saw a few boys running down the isles with a box of condoms in their hands. They all looked like they were seriously 8 or 9 saying stuff like "i'll have this box used in a night, my girlfriend should be happy". I stood there in shock. I really wanted to say something, but it was not my place and I was not their parents. It's amazing now how young kids talk about sex. It's not the first time i've seen young boys or girls talk about sex.

Although I did have sex at an early age (i was 14), I knew what all could happen with it. I knew about std's and pregnancy, and knew I did not want either so I made the person wear a condom. Honestly, I wasn't mature enough to have sex even though I knew the consequences that came along with it all. I only had sex at that time to "feel loved". I thought if a guy wanted to have sex with you, that they loved you. Back in 7th and 8th grade, people were talking about having sex and how it was so great. After I had sex for the first time in 9th grade, I started to lose sight of my actual goals, school. In my sophmore year, my mom started home schooling me. We were moving around a lot, I kept getting into the wrong crowds.

Personally, I don't think teen sex or teen pregnancies are the parents faults. I mean, my mom never really talked to me about the stuff, but she knew anytime I had a question about something, I would ask. Anymore, parents can't control what other kids at school are talking about and influence their kids to do the opposite. A lot of people feel like they can't talk to their parents about anything. I always felt that way, but it never held me back from asking questions. I do feel that parents need to talk to their children more and develop not just a parent-child relationship, but also a close friendship. Of all the people I have known that had a friendship with their parents, they waited to have sex until after high school, or at least their senior year. I'm not saying all teens would do that, but just the ones I knew did.

There is a big difference between 15 and 19. How is a 15 year old going to support a child? Yeah, she'll/he'll go get a job saying "do you want fries with that" and I don't even know if thats true. Does mcdonald's hire people that young??? So, a 15 year old is going to go to work and work what? 25 hours a week? If thats what that state requires as an under age employee. At 19 you can do anything but vote and drink. You can get a full time job, you'll more then likely have your diploma(which is most important) you can actually sign for an apartment( all by yourself) and oh, I don't know drive!!!
There is a major problem here with these kids who have no morals. They go get knocked up. So you have a child who can't afford a child who is not married and doesn't have an education. It's ridiculous!!!
I was 20 when I had sex for the first time(bad experience) and now i'm 28 so there was 8 whole years that I was having sex and look no baby!!! I got married in august that thats when we started "trying" and it pretty much happened on the honeymoon. I have always wanted a baby, but in the best interest for the baby I thought oh maybe I should have a stable income and a husband. I don't beleive you should have a child out of wedlock. That raises a lot of questions for your child when he or she is older.

Not all teens are like that and I was 15 when I got pregnant. Hell I know 20 year olds and my 18 yr/old bro-in-law that still don't have a license by choice why are teenagers stereo typed as having to work at a fast food joint.. Around here there are many jobs availiable than those. And what happened to the guys they made the baby too. If he can't pay child support than his parents have too. Sucks huh? I take care of my kid and my life is good. I have the role of a stay and home mommy and I love it. My husband works and we are comfortable. I do not need to get a job I have the best one in the world. Just because a teen gets prego doesn't mean she doesn't have any morals. You want to talk about morals I have plenty! I knew the man I slept with was going to be my husband one day and I was right. We have been together 6 years and married for one of them. Mistakes happen and I agree that ppl shouldn't be having sex unless they are willing to take the responsiblity for the action. But to me there isn't enough doing that amoung the ppl having babies.

To the other post that asked would we go back I would.But not sure if the outcome would change.Everyone is writing their stories.So here's mine.My father is in the army and when I was 8 yrs old I saw my 2 sisters and my brother killed and they were only 2,3,4and what a bad time that was for me and to add to the injury my mom had them killed because the crack man wanted his money and she wouldn't give it to him,and I found out it was like she killed them cause it was 4 of us that my mom gave birth to but she took life insurance out on them 3 a month before they died and got like 10k per kid.I was threw into my so called fathers life he married a women who hated me so I never grow up with a mom .Then when I was 11or 12 he started touching and grabbing on me.I wanted to die.So I attempted to kill myself 15 times with pills knifes and everything I told the mps (mitiltary police) what happened they told him to send me away, to an all girl home.So I beat up his wife and she told him it was her or me ,of course he choose her I left and moved with his mom who was as crazy as he was.To make a very long and hurtful story short was I 15 I ran away looking for my mom I found her but crack was her god.I met my hubby at 16 and he made sure I stayed in school he was 23 at the time.Then when I was 19 I got pregnant with my first child a son.Now i'm 22 pregnant with my second child.Not scared but I think if I would not have met him that I would probably be a hoe or promiscuous person to be trueful cause I had no guildance.So I would not change god bringing my hubby into my life.But even though he was older than me I needed his mind cause I did'nt have my own and his is the only guy i've slept with from 16 til now 22. I believe god throws ppl different scenerios. To either make us strong or to make us think.Srry for the long and dead story it just felt good to vent
thxs good bless all and good luck with those beautiful little babies
~chanee