I Am Shocked And Worried About the Teenage Sex Problem Posted: 11-30-05 16:09pm
I am pretty new to this forum and have
been going through and reading some of the
posts. I am completely shocked and
scared by the number of teenagers making
posts here. I am not oblivious to the
fact that teenagers have sex, but my
goodness. Don't you kids know the risks?
Are they no longer teaching sex ed in
schools? Where are all your parents in
this. I know that at the of 15 or even
older for that matter I didn't even know
what a blow job or 69 was and now all you
guys are having sex. I mean I did my
fair share of making out, but the thought
of sex never really occurred to me until
later in life. I was 18 when I had sex
for the first time. I can't even begin
to comprehend handling all the drama of
teenage life and then throw something this
big into the picture. I have a 10 yr old
son and the thought of him having sex in
the next few years totally makes me want
to vomit. No wonder our nation is
falling apart. The kids that are having
kids aren't ready to be parents. I am
not claiming to be perfect. I got
pregnant at 19, but there is a lifetime
between 19 and 15. And I learned at a
very young age how to take care of kids.
I always had that instinct but at 15 what
can a girl or boy for that matter offer a
baby, they are just babies themselves.
As far as that goes what can they honestly
offer eachother?
Thanks for letting me rant and rave. I
just couldn't get past all the teenage
posts on here. Makes me
soooooooooooooooo angry!!!!!!
Stacey
|
leigh10
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 19
Also Very Shocked Posted: 11-30-05 17:00pm
I am so glad that you said something
because I am also new to this forum and
can not believe the amount of posts from
teenagers. I realize that they are only
looking for information and should not be
criticized, but I am still just stunned by
some of the questions they are asking, not
to mention the behavior they are engaging
in. I went to private schools and
received very little sex education, but
even so........My parents sat me down as a
little girl and told me "where babies come
from". I am 23 years old and consider my
self very young......Yet some of these
girls are 9 years younger than me! I
have only had sex with 3 people (one of
them is my hubby!) and the first time was
not until I was 18 and a freshman in
college. I can not imagine dealing with
the type of situations these girls are
going through at such a young age. I am
9 weeks pg with my first child and I am
already scared to death of all the
problems and issues he or she will have to
face in the future. I can only hope and
pray that my husband and I can teach him
or her the values that our parents taught
us as children. It is very sad, and I do
wonder where their parents are.
|
chanee
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Nov 2005 Posts: 124 Location: detroit
Posted: 11-30-05 17:18pm
I kinda of agree i'm 22 and this about to
be my second child hehe .I'm very happy
about that but some of these questions are
crazy.I think they want to voice the
opinions without being judged but i'm
scared for them cause they are the
future.And if they are all pregnant or
have bad std's were doomed right.I really
can't talk about them much cause I was one
of them I met my hubby at 16 he put me
through high school. My mom was crack
addict and my dad was sexualing abusing me
so I had no one to tell me nothing.But I
think I got lucky.I had my son at 19 and
i'm in college now.I know I don't
matter.But in a way I see where their
coming from.I think their looking for love
in all the wrong places.Thxs for
listening.I'm not here to judge.But good
luck all
good bless
chanee
|
19mommy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Oct 2005 Posts: 179
Posted: 11-30-05 18:27pm
Im sorry but I do not agree, many
teenagers are immature, and they do stupid
things but do not generalize every teen
parent and the same category. There is
only a 4 year difference b/w 15 and 19 and
some people do not grow up much within
thoes years. Yet some people are beyond
their years in maturity. No one can say
teens having sex is the reason for socitey
crumbling, because teens have always been
haveing sex, just not as open about it.
Adults have sex, and since they are
considered "adults" they feel they can
have as much sex with whom ever they
choose to giving their babies aids, having
crack babies, premature baby's due to
their stupidity, yet so do teenagers. But
who are you to talk about teens having sex
to be a disgusting thing? Its a form of
their love, whether they are sure they are
in love or not, just like adults. When an
adult expresses their love by engaging in
sexual activities, no one seems to have a
problem with that, yet it is a national
problem for teens to do so. Dont judge
any teen mom, or any teenager that has
sex, because unless you've meet all of
them, you can not generalize them.
|
diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3173 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 73
Thanked:104
Posted: 11-30-05 18:34pm
Most of us all had sex in our teen years
I have to agree with everyone here we
all know the possibilities with sex; stds,
pregnancy and not being ready
menatally......
Im 21 and having a second child, there
are somedays im mature and somedays im
just silly and feel like a teen but no
matter what I take care of my child and I
waited until marriage to have one that was
agreed upon by both parties. I will not
judge a teen mom because some of them got
off theri butts and did something for
their child while, yes their is some who
milk the system but not every teen mom is
the same.....
|
chanee
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Nov 2005 Posts: 124 Location: detroit
Posted: 11-30-05 18:36pm
First of all 19mommy dont put me in labels
with others they have a point I said I
kinda agree cause I was were these are now
not too long ago.I'm only saying they have
to be more conscience get more resources
like this place to understand using their
bodies to get love is not the right way I
thought I was but I was wrong.As they will
see when they grow up somemore.I try not
to judge ppl but what they do but for who
they are and should too good luck god
bless
chanee
Like jess said, most of us have sex in our
teens and in reality aren't mentally
mature to handle the consequences.....But
it happens! Some take responsibility and
grow up quick, while others
don't......That also goes for women in
their 30's and 40's.
For cece... It's the past, present and
future.....Sex.....It'll happen whether or
not our eyes are open.
Just keep in mind, you were where they are
now!
|
cece22221
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2005 Posts: 10 Location: Indiana
Posted: 11-30-05 19:41pm
19mommy
wrote:
im sorry but I do not agree,
many teenagers are immature, and they do
stupid things but do not generalize every
teen parent and the same category. There
is only a 4 year difference b/w 15 and 19
and some people do not grow up much within
thoes years. Yet some people are beyond
their years in maturity. No one can say
teens having sex is the reason for socitey
crumbling, because teens have always been
haveing sex, just not as open about it.
Adults have sex, and since they are
considered "adults" they feel they can
have as much sex with whom ever they
choose to giving their babies aids, having
crack babies, premature baby's due to
their stupidity, yet so do teenagers.
But who are you to talk about teens having
sex to be a disgusting thing? Its a form
of their love, whether they are sure they
are in love or not, just like adults.
When an adult expresses their love by
engaging in sexual activities, no one
seems to have a problem with that, yet it
is a national problem for teens to do so.
Dont judge any teen mom, or any teenager
that has sex, because unless you've meet
all of them, you can not generalize
them.
i was not generalizing every teen.. There
certainly are a few out there that are
capable of dealing with the consequences
of teenage sex. But the majority are not
mentally ready to handle that
responsiblity. And 4 yrs when talking
teenage years makes a huge difference. I
know I was not that same at 19 as I was at
15. But again there are your group of
people that do not change much. As far
as saying that they are expressing their
love for eachother by having sex. Most
12, 13 14 or even 16 year olds have no
idea what love means...And even if they do
sex doesn't have to prove that. That age
group should be a time of innocence and
fun. I am not sure about anyone else, but
for me sex adds an emotional attatchment
that at that age doesn't need to be there
yet. The majority of them will not be
together in 6 mos. But here they are
"showing their love for eachother". And
most adult sex has nothing to do with
love. It is all about sex. (not all,
but you know, your one night stands, and
so on) adults are most generally more
equipped mentally and financially to
handle a child on their own if that is the
end result. Teenagers will have to rely
on their parents for support in every
aspect of the word.
Like I said, I am not generalizing all
teens...But definitly the majority.
|
cece22221
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2005 Posts: 10 Location: Indiana
Posted: 11-30-05 19:53pm
michelle1981
wrote:
well said barbara!
Like jess said, most of us have sex in our
teens and in reality aren't mentally
mature to handle the consequences.....But
it happens! Some take responsibility and
grow up quick, while others
don't......That also goes for women in
their 30's and 40's.
For cece... It's the past, present and
future.....Sex.....It'll happen whether or
not our eyes are open.
Just keep in mind, you were where they are
now!
trust me, I am not naive enough to think
that it won't happen. But I will
definitly prepare my kids. I will not
encourage sex, but I will encourage them
to use protection and prepare them for the
risks and responsiblities. My mother did
the same for me. I hope that someday my
kids will feel like they can come to
either my husband or I and ask the
questions they have. Instead of having
to post to strangers, although I do
understand, to a degree, the need to ask
someone you don't know. I may have come
off like this discriminating mad woman,
but I truly am not. I know that it is
going to happen, and I don't hold the
kids completely responsible, I don't think
they are getting the proper education
becaue it is such a hush, hush topic.
|
Mommy980
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Oct 2005 Posts: 31 Location: Wisconsin
Posted: 11-30-05 21:58pm
I disagree with that, some teenagers make
mistakes. To me, my saying is, the sin
was in the sex, and not what is growing
inside that "kids" body. If that teenager
gets pregnant, then that will be her
choice in life and what she has to raise.
Our nation is not falling apart from
teenager's getting pregnant... There are
many different things...I really disagree
|
BabyGT
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Aug 2005 Posts: 111 Location: Wisconsin
Posted: 11-30-05 22:02pm
I am 15, and am very mature for my age,
all I want to say is that, I have sex with
my boyfriend because I love him, me and
him have been going out for over 2 years
now....I have sex because I love him, not
a little fling thing either. I also
disagree
|
fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
Posted: 11-30-05 22:40pm
I do wonder if they still have health
class though. They come on here not
knowing anything about their cycle or
anything, but they know how to have
sex??!!! It is kinda sad these days.
Just to go along with what babygt said, I
started having sex when I was 16. I lost
my virginity to a guy who used
girls....But I don't regret it! A few
months later I met and fell in love with
my now husband. Last september we
celebrated 8 years(married for 5).
Brian was 17 when I had our first son, he
is now 6 and we have a second. He works
50-60 hours a week and is a great father
and an amazing husband.
Maturity comes at different times for for
both men and women.
We live to learn......
|
Sarah1978
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2005 Posts: 123 Location: NZ
Posted: 11-30-05 22:47pm
I heard on the news on tv the other day
that specialists believe that most
children/teens are sexually mature by the
age of 11 but parents and schools aren't
giving them enough information at an early
enough age to help them
mentally/emotionally handle everything
sooner.
I was only just 15 the first time I had
sex and I was quite mature for my age but
at that time we were only just being told
at school about sex, protection etc (sure
most of us knew the basics but it was the
details we needed) it was a bit late for
most teens. I know the education system
shouldn't be the only ones who are
responsible for teaching teens/children
sex ed but in reality some parents just
can't be bothered or start teaching to
late.
Just my 2 cents worth.
|
fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
Posted: 11-30-05 23:51pm
That is so true, it starts with the
parents. Which I did teach my children
well, cant say they always listen to what
I taught them, but I know for a fact they
never will forget what I have taught them.
You have to be a repeater to be an
effective teacher to anyone, especially
your kids.
I say "dont they have health class" for
the children who apparently cant talk to
their parents. I thank .God my children
do come to me, not afraid to tell me.
Or ask my advice. They know I would
never turn them away--no matter what they
might tell me.
|
diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3173 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 73
Thanked:104
Posted: 12-01-05 01:48am
I got sex ed classes in grade 5 so I was
around 10 honestly we do get sex ed
classes some people just prefer not to
hear/selective hearing.......
My dad also was a major factor always
used to tell me that my body was a jewel
and that everytime someone saw it it
depreciates in value I was 16 the first
time and I dont regret it but I didnt
sleep around either... Stuff happen but
I think having a child as a young teen
some of them aren't mentally ready.....
Stuff happens and im just happy their is
a board to support the ones who are prego
and need the support to continue as some
of their friends and family stop speaking
to them
|
oh_mommy
Supporter
Joined: 04 Sep 2005 Posts: 3686 Location: vancouver island, bc canada
Posted: 12-01-05 03:04am
I dont agree with you. Teens haveing sex
dosnt mean we are stupid or not ready.
Where I live you start getting sex ed in
grade 3 maybe abit earlier I cant quite
remember. I just remember in grade 3 we
had some lil puppet guy. Anyways back to
the point, you say you dont think 12-16
year old understand the meaning "making
love" but I for one do, maybe not all
teens do. For instance when me and my
boyfriend are having sex we call it being
complete because we both feel the part of
us we've been missing out whole lives is
finnaly there. We love eachother very
much and are planning to get engaged soon.
I know this dosnt happen to alot of
teens, but you have to admit when you were
in highschool even in middle school you
heard about sex in the halls. I know I
did, and even when we watch those corny
movies made way back when and they have
teenage sex, so you cant judge. I know
people are all brought up differnt.
Another thing, you can not blame parents
by saying "where are the parents for all
of this" because for one thing, my family
is always here, and they really tried to
stop us from pre-marital sex. My
grandfather always told me "the man will
always respect the woman more if she is a
virgin when they get married" either way
the man should repect the woman if they
are getting married...
And that was my point of veiw, please dont
discriminate
|
19mommy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Oct 2005 Posts: 179
Posted: 12-01-05 04:22am
chanee
wrote:
first of all 19mommy dont
put me in labels with others they have a
point I said I kinda agree cause I was
were these are now not too long ago.I'm
only saying they have to be more
conscience get more resources like this
place to understand using their bodies to
get love is not the right way I thought I
was but I was wrong.As they will see when
they grow up somemore.I try not to judge
ppl but what they do but for who they are
and should too good luck god bless
chanee
first of all I was not talk to you I was
refering to the origingal poster. I can
not rant on and on about people not
generalizing teenagers, yet do the same to
you. Sorry if that wasnt implied to you
|
19mommy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Oct 2005 Posts: 179
Posted: 12-01-05 04:26am
michelle1981
wrote:
just to go along with what
babygt said, I started having sex when I
was 16. I lost my virginity to a guy who
used girls....But I don't regret it! A
few months later I met and fell in love
with my now husband. Last september we
celebrated 8 years(married for 5).
Brian was 17 when I had our first son, he
is now 6 and we have a second. He works
50-60 hours a week and is a great father
and an amazing husband.
Maturity comes at different times for for
both men and women.
We live to
learn......
i couldnt have said it better michelle.
|
kirztensmummy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 326 Location: london
Posted: 12-01-05 08:24am
I think age is out of the question
here...I am 26 years old and carrying my
2nd child...Legally im an adult but I
still look up to those teenage mums who
chose to raise there kids even at a young
age. Maturity doesnt come with the
age...Sometimes you could be like 30 years
old and still dont know how to act like a
real adult there are some amazing teens
there where they live and survive on their
own besides if others think that having a
child or having sex at a young age is a
sudden rush or a mistake, is there
anything else thats considered as morally
right in the eyes of critics or righteous?
I believe the you learn from your
mistakes. I am not encouraging pms here,
but at the end of the day its the
individual's decision that matters...We
wont be able to help them if we criticize
them what they need is advise and support
from the so-called "adults"
p.S. I dont mean to offend anyone here
just making a point
The site is not a replacement for professional medical opinion, examination, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your medical doctor or other qualified health professional before starting any new treatment or making any changes to existing treatment. Do not delay seeking or disregard medical advice based on information written by any author on this site. No health questions and information on eHealth Forum is regulated or evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and therefore the information should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease without the supervision of a medical doctor. Posts made to these forums express the views and opinions of the author, and not the administrators, moderators, or editorial staff and hence eHealth Forum and its principals will accept no liabilities or responsibilities for the statements made.
Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
