I was diagnosed with dysthymia by a psychiatrist when I was 17/18 but have been depressed since I was 13. I'm now 20. I'm pretty sure i've had periods of more severe depression as well as dysthymia but I was wondering... is it possible to have dysthymia whilst having thoughts of suicide and death or do the thoughts of death and suicide mean it's a different diagnosis?

some days it's idly wondering if I walk in front of that car or this train whether i'd die. Other days I feel like committing suicide, that is not say I am anywhere near doing that, just that I want to and think/obsess about suicide.

In many way my emotional state has become more volatile over the past few years, I will not necessarily feel any worse than I did when I was 14 but my attempts to make myself feel better are more self destructive (earlier this year it was heavy drinking, bingeing and self harm). I also seem prone to "switch" to having thoughts of suicide easier, even if things are okay some days I still think "it's only going to get worse, why not kill yourself now."