My Boyfriend Can't Orgasm

Orgasms are almost completely mental (~90%), and therefore it usually takes more or less time for you to orgasm based on the mental state you are in. If you find the stimulation pleasing, you'll likely orgasm more quickly than if you find it not to be stimulating or pleasing. There are a number of similar threads, you might try searching for them.

Maybe he doesnt find you attractive? Lol

just kidding

well if youre ready, try sex, maybe the first time hell explode like no other, and hell never be the same.

I had never exploded like I did the first time I had sex, and was never the same emotionally, or mentally afterwards.

Cambion I had the same issue at my 1st relationship ,

this was due to the fact that I was anxious ... And I didnt feel "safe" "secure" in a way when she did an oral sex on me...As soon as I relaxed,and time passed , I needed this every single time hehe!But why dont you have sex?Have you thought that maybe the fact that you doesnt trust him so much to have sex with him makes him worry?..


No worries ! Take your time ... This will happen....For sure

It's not that I don't want to have sex, it's just that I know i'm not yet ready to go that far. I get very scared when I think about it - I would use protection, but I always worry that it'll fail and i'll get pregnant. Hell, I was with my ex for over a year and a half and we never had sex. I do want to please my boyfriend, but I get very anxious when I think about sex. I know he wants it, but I also know he won't try and force me into it. It's not that I don't trust him, I just don't trust contraception. That's why I wish to get a tubal ligation as soon as I can afford it so I could happily be intimate with him and be able to relax, not worrying about pregnancy. But that's another story I won't get into.

I think at times I may have made him feel pressured, like he needed to orgasm. I ask him occasionally if he's "getting close" if his reactions begin to change...Maybe he felt like he had to have an orgasm. I'll need to stop asking him that.

At some point, I want to ask him if I can try going for the "a-spot", because i've heard that some guys can have tremendous orgasms from prostate stimulation. But I want to ask first, because I don't know if he would want to be touched like that or not, or if he'd be willing to experiment.

Thanks for all your help, guys - I really appreciate everyone's advice.

Well , I aint a psychologist , but as a fragile personality , I wouldnt "open up" to a girl that is afraid to have sex with me..

I mean .. Com on , get rid if this fear of yours , use a condom , and there's absolutely no case of getting pregnant...

[1+1/2 without sex!!!!!??? Gosh!][and I thought girls in england were different! Hehehe] just kidding!

I think it's really your own decision when you want to start having intercourse. But I think a key question here is whether he is able to masturbate to completion in your presence. If so, I would say work with that. Enjoy it, cheer him on, and you can begin to "help out" more and more. Much like a blacksmith's apprentice, he may be able to teach you the tools of the trade, and eventually you will become a master. You may want to have some frank intimate discussions about what he likes, how he likes to be touched. Try trading off, having him masturbate for a while, then you take a stab, then back to him. Some men just feel performance anxiety when a woman is "working on him," but you shoudn't feel it's a failure on your part in any way. Forty-five minutes of nonstop work from you is bound to make you both feel stressed and pressured, and probably isn't very conducive to completion.

This post is abit late but

im having the exect same problem with my girl, she really turns me on n all shes gd at handjob and oral and it feels amazin but I dont cum,

weve also had sex afew times now but even if it feels absolutly amazin and I dont feel any pressure, stress or anxiousness even if I rifle away for a good 15 mins I do not cum I think that ive come close afew times but I cant be sure I think I need a professional opinion or some1 whos had this b4

Guys and girls........
I'm definately think this is a matter of time ... Loosen up.. We young people [19-25] rush too much to have things done... I mean..Get to know each other , fall in love..

This is cleary an issue of not letting yourself free...

Just do your best to keep your mind mentally arroused, and you should be ok, that usually fixes the problem. People don't concentrate on the sensations enough, and therefor don't cum or can't keep their erections.

Wow, I thought I was the only one having this problem. Basically my boyfriend doesn't orgasm through sex, oral, anything which involves me. He can orgasm fine when he masturbates on his own. And I have brought ex boyfriends to orgasm before, and have never had a problem. So I dont really know whats going wrong. He said what I do feels great and he says he has come close a few times. I dont think its an issue of feeling relaxed around eachother either, because we have been together 7 months now and are completly open with eachother.
What is going on?
Help
anyone?

Could be, waht you said, a need to feel relaxed, could also be nerves or lack of arrousal.

Does he masterbate a lot or do you know because a lot of times that can be the reason he is so use to doing it himself and the way it feels that it is hard for you to get the same rhythme and hand grip that he does so what you can try is having him put his hand on top of yours and sqeeze and have him do as if he was doing it him self and see what happens its like he is training you on the way he does it. Good luck I hope it works.

Does he touch you why you are doing him? Thats ometimes work to. Or you can even rub up against him with your body and everything make it more than just trying to get him off that works to.

Thanks for yr help guys,
1) I dont think its a lack of arousal, because he is always very hard, and stays like it for almost 2 hours whilst im doing stuff to him, man thats tiring. Till eventually he tells me to stop because its starting to hurt. Even tho he says it was great all the way through.
I think you might be right about him being used to his own touch, he said he used to masturbate loads before he met me, I am the first person he has ever done anything sexual with. He said that he isnt used to how it feels. He also said he is constantly worrying that im not enjoying myself, iv told him I am but he still worries, I guess that stops him relaxing enough.
Yes we've tried it with him touching me too, and with me rubbing against him, we've tried alot of stuff to be honest lol.
I think I should try what you said about letting him use his hand too, to teach me what he likes or so that he gets a feeling he is used to.
Thanks for the advice! :d
xx

Im glad that I could help.

I hate to bring back an old topic, but i'm still kinda perplexed about my boyfriend's inability to orgasm.

I talked to him about this, and he told me he never feels nervous or anxious when I pleasure him. His exact words were "it feels too good for me to be nervous". As I had said, I know he can climax just fine when he masturbates, and I have told him to tell me if he wants me to do something specific. But he just says I do everything perfectly.

Ah well I guess i'll keep trying. -.-

There's a difference between "feeling nervous" and "being nervous."

In the book I am currently reading it specifically states that if you masturbate regularly you should vary how you do it. If you do not throw in some variation on how you masturbate to orgasm, then basically you train your body and mind to only be able to orgasm in that same exact way each time.

This is especially true for men. Men masturbate more often than women, and usually do it the same way every single time. They become accustomed to doing it only in that way.

Then along comes a girl. She plays with it, strokes it, licks it, sucks it. Yes, it is a turn-on and he gets hard. Afterall, he is sitting back enjoying the attention. However, it just doesn't feel the same as when he is doing it. She isn't gripping it hard enough. She isn't hitting the right spots in process. He stays hard, because all of the motions she is applying helps to maintain the bloodflow. But it just isn't enough to push him over that edge.

The best thing to do if this is the case is to watch how he does it. Ask him to show you how he likes it. Watch him doing it alone a cuple of times. Then put your hand over his as he is masturbating so you can feel the rhythm/pace he likes. Then have him put his hand on top of your's and squeeze so you can feel how hard he likes it tugged/squeezed. He can also show you the rhythm in this way, too. Keep practicing this, and before long you should be able to do it for him without his help.

^& this book would be.....?