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I Want to Become Sterile (Page 1)

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I'm 18 and I have known for the past couple of years that I don't ever want to have children. I have never been good with children and I have such little patience with them that it's almost sickening, and with my lack of patience with babies and children, I know very well I couldn't ever be a good mother. I don't want to bring a child into this world only so it would end up getting neglected, which I know would be what would happen because of my hatred for children of all ages.

I've made the decision that I want to become totally sterile - I want a complete hysterectomy and also have my ovaries removed. I know for a fact that tubal ligation is not 100% effective, and, although it's very rare, leaving the ovaries in the body could result in an abdominal pregnancy. I want to take no chances - I want to know that I could someday be intimate with my boyfriend and be able to relax and not have to worry about conceiving because of faulty contraception or because a minor operation failed to stop conception.

Note, i'm not doing this for anyone else but myself - my boyfriend didn't convince me to do this, nor did any of my friends or family members. I've made this decision on my own, and once I acquire enough money, i'm going to see if I can undergo these 2 operations (definitely in the far future since I just began college about 2 months ago and have next to no money anyway).

My question to you guys is this: will a doctor perform these operations on me just because I want to be sterile, or do I need a reason to have a complete hysterectomy and my ovaries removed, such as pcos, endometriosis, cancer, etc.?
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First Helper red72cup
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replied November 25th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
I thinkyou would have a major problem getting a doctor to perform the surgery, because they would not see any clinical justification -- particularly for the hysterectomy. You would also be strongly advised not to have your ovaries removed. You would need to be on hormone treatment for the rest of your lift, as you would basically be forced into menopause. Not a good idea.

You will also most likely have real trouble finding a doctor willing to sterilise you at your age -- many women who want to remain childfree have to battle for a tubal even after they are 30 or 35 years old. Why is is considered "normal" to want a child when you are 18, but not to be sure you don't want one? Why doesn't someone tell an 18 year old not to have a child because she might change her mind later? It's insane.

Nevertheless, although it is not 100% guaranteed, you could still consider a tubal. There are more brutal ways of doing it so that the chance of it failing are much smaller. The best thing would be to have your husband or partner sterilised as well, which should mean probably one chance in 10,000 of anything getting through!

Another new technique, which is supposed to be even better and more effective, is called essure. If you do a search, you will find their website and more information, and they will be able to provide a list of the doctors who can do it in your area. What this involves is inserting tiny rods into the fallopian tubes, which result in your body producing scarring that means they are completely blocked after 3 months. No eggs get out, no sperm can get in, so no risk of ectopic pregnancy either. I understand that it appears to be 100% effective, and doesn't involve any major surgery.

You may also want to google "childfree" to find more interesting and supportive sites for those who don't want children, or pm me if you want some suggestions.
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replied November 25th, 2005
Experienced User
Getting a complete hysterectomy will basically put you through menopause at an age that is way too early. Definitely consider tubal litigation, my mom did it shortly after I was born, which was at age 28, and even then the doctor was very reluctant. You're making a wise decision in not wanting a child that you know will end up being neglected. Since most bcs are only 96-99% effective, try a tubal litigation, you'll still get a period but you won't ovulate and you won't go straight into menopause.
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replied November 25th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
As I was reading about tubal ligation, I did come across something about essure and it sounded pretty good. I think i'll consider doing that rather than my original plan of having practically my entire reproductive system removed. I suppose I forgot to take into consideration also the costs of both operations.

Time to start saving, I guess. Thanks for all your advice, guys - I appreciate everyone's help a lot.
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replied November 30th, 2005
I'm childfree by choice as well =)
in regards to getting your tubes tied, good luck! Doctors are so afraid of getting sued that it's really hard to find one that will do a tubal or essure at our ages. Beleive me, i've tried.
I've recently been looking up information on an iud. It's supposed to be just as effective, if not more so than a tubal or essure. I've heard that it can make your periods heavier, so if I did get it done, i'd still take birth control to help with that.
So if you can't get a doctor to do a tubal, an iud would be a good second option (i think...)
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replied November 30th, 2005
Experienced User
Use bc with an iud? It's my understanding that you're not supposed to combine hormonal bc's, which is what you'd be doing. Talk it over with your gyn. Another fool-proof hormonal bc is nuvaring, which is supposed to be 99% effective. It's a once-a-month method. You have the ring in your vagina for 3 weeks, take it out for one week, then start the cycle over with a new ring. I like it, and it's supposed to help lighten your period as well. :)
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replied November 30th, 2005
solar001 wrote:
use bc with an iud? It's my understanding that you're not supposed to combine hormonal bc's, which is what you'd be doing. Talk it over with your gyn. Another fool-proof hormonal bc is nuvaring, which is supposed to be 99% effective. It's a once-a-month method. You have the ring in your vagina for 3 weeks, take it out for one week, then start the cycle over with a new ring. I like it, and it's supposed to help lighten your period as well. :)

i beleive there's an iud that is without hormones, but, like I said, i'm still just looking into it, and don't have that much information on it.

But I am going to ask my doctor next visit if I can do both at once, bc only to regulate my periods.

I've never heard of the nuvaring though, I might look up some info on that=)
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replied November 30th, 2005
Experienced User
Yeah, it came out in 2001. It's very simple and comfortable. Everyone reacts differently to it though. It's great not having to remember a pill everyday, I would fail miserably at that one. It's a bit pricey though, especially since there's no generic brand for it yet. I get mine at the univ. For $12, but at the reg. Pharmacy they were going to charge me $30, with my insurance. But yeah, I like it thus far.
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replied November 30th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Re: I Want to Become Sterile
cambion wrote:
i'm 18 and I have known for the past couple of years that I don't ever want to have children. I have never been good with children and I have such little patience with them that it's almost sickening, and with my lack of patience with babies and children, I know very well I couldn't ever be a good mother. I don't want to bring a child into this world only so it would end up getting neglected, which I know would be what would happen because of my hatred for children of all ages.


I've made the decision that I want to become totally sterile - I want a complete hysterectomy and also have my ovaries removed. I know for a fact that tubal ligation is not 100% effective, and, although it's very rare, leaving the ovaries in the body could result in an abdominal pregnancy. I want to take no chances - I want to know that I could someday be intimate with my boyfriend and be able to relax and not have to worry about conceiving because of faulty contraception or because a minor operation failed to stop conception.


Note, i'm not doing this for anyone else but myself - my boyfriend didn't convince me to do this, nor did any of my friends or family members. I've made this decision on my own, and once I acquire enough money, i'm going to see if I can undergo these 2 operations (definitely in the far future since I just began college about 2 months ago and have next to no money anyway).


My question to you guys is this: will a doctor perform these operations on me just because I want to be sterile, or do I need a reason to have a complete hysterectomy and my ovaries removed, such as pcos, endometriosis, cancer, etc.?


even an uncaring and impatient person will change when they get pregnant. So, you might want to rethink this before you do something you cannot change. And most dr's wont give full hysterectomy to young women(i was 25), and they didnt even want to tie my tubes at 24 unless they knew for sure I really wantd it. On the hysterectomy they left my ovaries and tube--
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replied December 1st, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Re: I Want to Become Sterile
fatfamily02 wrote:

even an uncaring and impatient person will change when they get pregnant. So, you might want to rethink this before you do something you cannot change. -


yep - some become more uncaring and more impatient...Hardly worth taking the risk, is it? It's not like there's much point in having one if you don't like them, don't want them, and don't think there's any obligation on you to have one.
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replied December 1st, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
True, but.....

A lot of pple dont even know themselves yet. If she truly dont want them, I dont expect her to have any--i am just trying to say--she may not truly know what she wants yet. May not know herself yet.

I know a lot of teenagers who dont think they like kids--not wanting to be burdened by them, but it could also be because they have had them in their face--cuz mom had a pre menopause baby. They have to babsit and stuff. Im just trying to get her to know herself for sure first-- before she does something she would regret
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replied December 2nd, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
fatfamily02 wrote:
true, but.....


A lot of pple dont even know themselves yet. If she truly dont want them, I dont expect her to have any--i am just trying to say--she may not truly know what she wants yet. May not know herself yet.


I know a lot of teenagers who dont think they like kids--not wanting to be burdened by them, but it could also be because they have had them in their face--cuz mom had a pre menopause baby. They have to babsit and stuff. Im just trying to get her to know herself for sure first-- before she does something she would regret


isn't it funny -- I just keep seeing all the teenagers who *do* want kids -- why do they know their own minds and someone who hates kids doesn't?

There's a lot of people who have kids due to pressure from society or partners, and they regret it. There is a big difference between not being keen, and knowing you don't want any, and if someone is looking into getting sterilised before they have any, you can bet they are pretty sure. Incidentally -- only the tiniest proportion of childfree people who are sterilised seek reversals -- a far higher proportion of parents who get sterilised regret it later. Wanting to remain childfree is a fundamental orientation, not a passing fancy.
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replied December 2nd, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
I can understand her desire of not wanting children and I agree with her that it is a fundamental orientation. I worked with a lady in my past job who felt exactly like her and she never had the children and she is 50 and grateful she didn't had them.

She always used the pill so she told me. The tubal seems to be the best option for you. An iud would be a good second option but doctors don't want to prescribe iud's to women who has never had a child because of the possibility of your uterus rejecting it (would cause too much bleeding/pain). And second because your uterus may bee to small to fit the iud (again this because of that of never having a child) iud's are the best options after having a child.

Your challenge will be just trying to get a doctor do to you a tubal. If there are plenty doctors willing to do abortions I don't see why they wouldn't do a tubal. If no doctor wants to do it then oh well just stick to the regular options like pills or condoms, nuvaring whatever.

I want to make a note on nuvaring. The drawback of the nuvaring is that of when you have sex you need to be watching it cause it can fall off and if you don't notice and let 3 hours pass by you are screwed. Just wanted to let you know.
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replied December 4th, 2005
Experienced User
Yeah, I knew about it falling out during sex. But you must admit that it does have that pro over the pill that you don't have to remember it everyday.




True, but.....


A lot of pple dont even know themselves yet. If she truly dont want them, I dont expect her to have any--i am just trying to say--she may not truly know what she wants yet. May not know herself yet.


I know a lot of teenagers who dont think they like kids--not wanting to be burdened by them, but it could also be because they have had them in their face--cuz mom had a pre menopause baby. They have to babsit and stuff. Im just trying to get her to know herself for sure first-- before she does something she would regret


as for her not wanting babies. I have to say that I absolutely applaud cambion for confronting the fact that she doens't want them. And it's true, many people become more impatient with them if they have them. Having your own baby in your hands and seeing those "little eyes" will only make you melt for about a week, then reality sinks in. Having a baby is about raising a child into a full-functioning person, not just being goo-goo-gaa-gaa with a baby for one year. This is what upsets me about people trying to convince others that they really will want a baby when they look at their own. I'm not on the same boat as cambion, I actually want at least 5, but that's because I love educating, playing with and disciplining children of all ages. If she feels she isn't capable, then hell, my hat goes off to her for admitting it and taking the necessary steps.

And I stand by my nuvaring suggestion. She may have problems getting an iud, and if she forgets her pill just once, she's basically screwed for the rest of the month, if she's on the patch, she might have trouble with blood clots, or get annoyed at the super-sensitive method. Nuvaring is something you only think about once a month. It's also no trouble to just double check that it's still in after sex, and if anything, just take it out and set an alarm for 2 hours later and put it back in. I usually double-check myself everyday or so in the shower, it's no trouble and i'd rather do that than take a pill everyday.
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replied December 6th, 2005
Experienced User
The iud is just as effective as getting your tubes cut/burned ect.. I have the iud without any hormones and it can stay in for 10 years, plus it it cheeper then getting your tubes tied. Having to get a new one every 10 years doesn't seem that bad. I know u don't want any kids at all, but what if 20 years in the future something changes your mind? At least you could get the iud out. The only thing I can think of though, i'm not sure if you can get the iud without having a baby or not. Btw I hated kids too, before I get pregnant. What kinda funny though, I still dislike kids, other than my own, lol. I hate babysitting, they are all snot nosed brats, I just don't like them, but I love my kids to death and wouldn't trade them for nothing.
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replied December 6th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
amber1983 wrote:
the iud is just as effective as getting your tubes cut/burned ect.. I have the iud without any hormones and it can stay in for 10 years, plus it it cheeper then getting your tubes tied. Having to get a new one every 10 years doesn't seem that bad. I know u don't want any kids at all, but what if 20 years in the future something changes your mind? At least you could get the iud out. The only thing I can think of though, i'm not sure if you can get the iud without having a baby or not. Btw I hated kids too, before I get pregnant. What kinda funny though, I still dislike kids, other than my own, lol. I hate babysitting, they are all snot nosed brats, I just don't like them, but I love my kids to death and wouldn't trade them for nothing.


hehehe I have heard that of people who say they don't like kids. Except when they are theirs. That must be biological instict I think.

The iud seems like the best deal and I will absolutetly look for that after I ever have a child. I think the risk of the iud is that of the ectopic pregancies but I don't know what are the myths with respect to that issue. I would like to haven an iud now but oh well I don't qualify (never had children). What a nurse practioner told me once is that she said that a uterus that has never had a child doesn't like anything in it so putting an iud will cause too much bleeding/pain. I guess with a liberal doctor that may want to try and see I could get it. I would think that at least if the uterus gives a good measure to fit the iud a doctor might give a try.
I assume you have the paragard iud amber? Do you get your periods monthly?

I'm a happy pill user. I take the pill after I brush my teeth in the morning so it's a habit alerady, I never forget. I think something like the nuvaring would not work for me because I forget easier once a month than everyday hehe. But the most I like of the pill is that it does keep me in shape. I don't know how that chemistry of the hormones is with my body but I truly get overweight easily if I stop them which is interesting cause most I hear is that bc pill actually can make one gain weight.
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replied December 7th, 2005
Experienced User
I'm not sure what my iud is. It's the one that has no hormones, insted it has copper on it. I think it's called the copper t or something like that. I wanted it because it can stay in for up to 10 years, but the hormone one only lasts 5 years. It has been great and I love it, the only side effect I have has is heaver bleeding, but it my peroids only last about 3 days. I would defently recomend it, it's great not having to worry about the hormone side effects or having to take a pill everyday (i couldn't remember for the life of me)
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replied December 21st, 2005
Experienced User
I for one hope all the people who want to remain childfree find someway to not get pregnant. I would hate for innocent children to be brought into their lives.
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replied December 21st, 2005
acoles70 wrote:
i for one hope all the people who want to remain childfree find someway to not get pregnant. I would hate for innocent children to be brought into their lives.


although I think you meant for this to be a rude comment, I would like for doctors to do their jobs, and give people a tubal if their patient asks for one. I've tried to get a tubal from a few doctors, only to be told "i'm too young..." bleh, i'm 23, I know what I want, and i'm sure the op knows what she wants too!

And who says we're going to keep babies if we do get pregnant, there are other options lady...
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replied December 21st, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
Haha, wow I can't believe people are still replying to this topic. And babykitty23 is correct - just because a woman may become pregnant doesn't mean she needs to keep it. I myself am pro-choice, and I have decided that, when I do become sexually active, i'll use whatever forms of contraception I can get my hands on. Condoms, birth control, spermicide, etc.

However, if I was unfortunate enough to conceive despite all that protection (i know none of those is 100% guaranteed), I would not hesitate to get an abortion. As far as i'm concerned, I would not be using abortion as a form of contraception since my contraception would have failed. I seriously feel nothing for children of any age, which is why I would prefer to not make any children that could end up being neglected or even abused emotionally from my lack of love.

I'll still go for the tubal ligation someday. But thanks, everyone, who has replied with the information for the different kinds of contraception as well as opinions. Keep 'em coming xd
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