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Q: My Boyfriend Was Upset
asked by: kitty2luv on November 23rd, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
That I wanted to stop trying for a baby , I think he still wants too. We are just not ready for one. Well if we do decide in the future to get pregnant I ovulate a week after my period is that normal? Today i've been getting bad cramps like im going to get my period ive been haven headachs and been feeling sick to my stomach for a few days now , I feel like I am falling apart. My life is , my health is . I just dont know any more . I need advice any would help on any subject
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oh_mommy
replied on November 23rd, 2005
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Sounds like you may be preg, maybe not thou. But if you are what are you going to do? It takes 9 months to get the baby out of you, maybe by then you will feel ready. Or if you are preg maybe your emotions are stirring up causeing you to feel like you crumbling to the ground
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Lilypad
replied on November 23rd, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
If you arent ready you arent ready. Thats okay to feel like that. Believe me I have been there. Its a big decision. My husband wanted to ttc way befoe I did. We tried for awhile and then I changed my mind again, and again and again.
For me I just didnt know what I wanted. On one hand you want to bring a new baby into a good environment. On the other hand if you wait for everthing to be "perfect" then there will never be a good time. I dont know how old you are or your whole situation or anything either. But for me I just had to take some time to think about it without being pressured. You have the power you are the woman. You can take birth control if you want!
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Lilypad
replied on November 23rd, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Oh and it also sounds like you are having pms.
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kitty2luv
replied on November 23rd, 2005
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I just had my period on the 15th ,
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Lilypad
replied on November 24th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Are you and your bf going to get married??
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kitty2luv
replied on November 27th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
He wants to like right away I want to wait a few years , im only 18 n we been together almost 9 months , he's thinking bout going nto the coast gaurd n I dont kow if I can be faithful to him the hole time him is gone n I am trying to explain this to him , I am young and I want to have fun . But I also love him . I want him to do what he wants I told h im to go and when he gets back I will be thier for him 100 % unless I die ! , I dont wanna be sitting around the house doing nothing I wanna go out and have . Dosnt mean im going to go out n do every guy , what u think ? I dont wanna get married till like im 23 or 24 . He want to get married asap .
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Lilypad
replied on November 28th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Getting married should be the easiest decision you will ever make. I think its a good idea to wait if he is going into the coast guard and you will never hardly see him. You are young and you are being honest about your feelings. If you dont think you can be faithful to him while you are apart then you probably wont be. At least you are being honest.

Follow your instincts, they are there for a reason...
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kitty2luv
replied on November 28th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
I feel like my life is falling apart. I just found out last night that my boyfriends mom wants me out ! My b/f been hiding it from me for 2 days , n he had to pay her 100 for me keep living thier , I mean me n him live off of a 500 pay check every 2 weeks , n we have 2 dogs n 4 cats . I have a zoo I love animals , n they cost maybe 50 dollars every 2 weeks . They keep me living there , I am so stressed I just dont know what to do . What do I do when he goes into the coast gaurd ? I have to get a good paying job n find a place for me n the animals , I mean its getting hard !!
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JanetBee
replied on November 28th, 2005
Experienced User
Okay, just read this and I just want to be sure I am understanding your situation. You are 18... You live with your boyfriend at his mother's house. You can barely afford to live on the money you have. And he wants you to get pregnant?

I may be completely wrong, and you have probably posted a lot of things I haven't seen, but it sounds like this guy is just afraid of losing you and he wants you to have a baby because then you will be trapped with him.

I think you are absolutely right not to want to have a baby now. It would be a recipe for disaster! You need to get out and be independent for a while, as you say, get a good job, have some fun while you are young, and think about what you want out of life.
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kitty2luv
replied on November 28th, 2005
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He does want me preg ! So we can be together . We just need to work things out . We r both younge he is 20 ! ..
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JanetBee
replied on November 28th, 2005
Experienced User
Well, kitty, it sounds you know that having a baby now would be a terrible idea, so I am sure you're sensible enough to wait and be careful! I'm guessing that your boyfriend doesn't really appreciate how much work a baby is. And how much money it takes to raise one, and how much strain it can put on a relationship because of the time, and energy and money.
So if you are going to want to have a baby (with him or with someone else) you need to think about how to get yourself a life that makes that possible. It's great that you love animals, so are you doing work or thinking about some kind of career with animals?
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kitty2luv
replied on November 28th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Yes deff. I want to be a vet some day I want to try to get into the wild cat career like in the zoo's rasie them and everything , that is my goal , but to start I gotta get my ged n get some money saved n head to college i
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JanetBee
replied on November 28th, 2005
Experienced User
That is so great -- you need to go for it! I think my dream would be to hold a lion cub or a tiger cub, I always wonder if big cats purr? That must be amazing.
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kitty2luv
replied on November 28th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
I wonder that too , I would love to hold a white tiger cub n rasie them , I would do anything , for em . I have 4 cats of my own . I love animals ! Esp. Cats , I need to get my butt in gear n get stuff going ! What do u do for a living . How old are you ? And everything?
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Lilypad
replied on November 29th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Alright kitty it sounds like you have got alot on your plate...I think the first step would be to try to get your own place, maybe you could find roommates but you are trapped if you have to depend on them!
You dont want a baby, and you dont even know if you can be faithful to him while he is gone! I think you really just need to find a way to stand on your own two feet for a while. The baby should be the last thing on your mind right now-which it sounds like you already know that.

A friend of mine found roommates thru some service-internet maybe?? I know that sounds scary but you could always meet them first, I dunno. It would probably be better if you could roommate with someone you already know... Personally I would not want to be under my boyfriends mom's roof if she did not want me there and he was moving away...

Good luck to you...I really hope things work out! Keep me posted!
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kitty2luv
replied on November 29th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
We r not trying for a baby n e more ! I just got a job I should start this weekend , mcdonalds . I hope to start thier and find another one soon. My bf is filling out the paper work now for the coast gaurd and we r going to meet w/ a recrutier (sp) and he will get paper work to tell him where he is going , he will be gone for 10 weeks , where am I going to live ? How am I going to afford the animals and my own place? Problems is with if my one friend moves in she has 2 dogs n I already have 2 dogs n 4 cats n I dont think any place will want all these animals , my one cat can go back to my mom's till I get a house . But I am thinking about asking my friends mom . To let me stay thier with the dogs n the cats while my b/f is at boot camp , another thing that has been bothering me is being faithful to him , I told him I will be thier for him when he gets out , but I want to have fun while he is gone and when he gets back I want to settel down and maybe if things are right start thinking about getting married , or atleast engaugd (sp) give me time to let loose b4 I settle down with the one I love!!
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Lilypad
replied on November 30th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Maybe you should just be honest and tell him that you want to date around while he is gone, and that if its meant to be you two can hook up in 2 years or whatever it is.... And just keep in touch thru letters or whatever...But I think honesty is best. And if he gets mad just remind him that it was harder to be honest with him than lead him on to misleading intentions...
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kitty2luv
replied on November 30th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
He told me if I sleep around or do w/e when he is gone we will not b together , I still want freedome . N he needs to know that b4 we start talking about getting married
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Lilypad
replied on December 1st, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Sounds like you have been given an ultimatum what will you decide?

Why do you want to marry him??
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