Adderall Is Ruining My Life But I Cant Stop Taking It!!!! Posted: 11-22-05 00:39am
I dont know what to do anymore. I was
prescribed adderall about 2 years ago for
add/adhd, before that I was on ritalin.
But in the last year, I have been taking
more and more adderall. I am suppose to
take 40 mgs a day (2pills twice a day) and
I usually take 5-6 (100-120mgs). I look
bad, I feel bad, I am a wreck. I am
irritable, I never have sex with my
husband anymore, I dont want to be
touched, I dont want to be hugged nothing.
Even when I do give in and we have sex,
I can not have an orgasm at all, I dont
even get close to having one. And before
I started taking to much adderall I could
have them easily and enjoyed sex. I feel
like I am a different person, like I dont
even know myself anymore. But the worst
thing is I rather look skinny and sick,
and feel irritable and anxious, and be
miserable like I am now, than seek help
and get off the medication. I tried to
quit taking it, it was unbearable, I was
so exhausted I could barely stand up, I
was clumsy running into things. I feel
worthless, depressed, stupid, ugly. I
could not quit eating, I could barely open
my eyes because I was so tired, but if I
got up I was eating. I could barely
drive to work, I was falling asleep behind
the wheel, it scared me to death!!! So I
called a friend (because I threw my pills
out) and got a few of her adderalls until
it was time to get mine filled again. It
was an aweful feeling, and I just much
rather be awake and up than tired and
depressed. I know I am seriously
addicted, but no one knows I have a
problem or even take adderall, and I have
been such a disapointment to my mother in
the past, and the last couple of years she
has been proud of me I could not tell her
I was addicted to amphetemines that she
didnt know I was taking. She knew when I
took ritalin and she knew I abused it as
well, thats why I cant tell her about the
adderall. I could seek private help, but
honestly I dont want to be off it, I just
wish I could take a drug holiday for a
week and then start taking it again but
take it normally. I have been saying I
was gonna take it right for a year now
and have yet to do so. I know I sound
stupid, because I am posting this about my
addiction but I dont want to stop taking
the thing I am addicted too. But I am so
scared! I am unhealthy, my mind is tired
and feels all used up. But without the
adderall I dont feel like I can do
anything. :cry:
|
siennaturin
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 9 Location: London
Posted: 12-04-05 16:55pm
Have you tried cutting down really really
slowly - ie. Each week taking 10mg less
per than the previous week.
I'm sure your doctor would be really
understanding if you told them the problem
and they may be able to help you with
something else (another less addictive
drug to ease the problems with coming off
this drug)
remember that it's not your fault at all
that your addicted to this substance - you
used it initially to help a debilitating
condition - and it's also not you're fault
that you're in a nightmare situation now
because you've become physically dependent
on it - remember you're not weak for not
being able to come of this, the strongest
person on the planet would be in this
position - you really do need support and
help from other people though to crack
this and deserve loads of understanding
and empathy!!!!
|
siennaturin
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 9 Location: London
Posted: 12-04-05 16:58pm
Have you tried cutting down really really
slowly - ie. Each week taking 10mg less
per than the previous week.
I'm sure your doctor would be really
understanding if you told them the problem
and they may be able to help you with
something else (another less addictive
drug to ease the problems with coming off
this drug)
remember that it's not your fault at all
that your addicted to this substance - you
used it initially to help a debilitating
condition - and it's also not you're fault
that you're in a nightmare situation now
because you've become physically dependent
on it - remember you're not weak for not
being able to come of this, the strongest
person on the planet would be in this
position - you really do need support and
help from other people though to crack
this and deserve loads of understanding
and empathy!!!!
|
tricialynn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 17 Location: Michigan
Posted: 12-05-05 12:57pm
Tell your doctor you are addicted to it,
or if you live with someone have them give
you your medicince
|
crazy girl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2006 Posts: 7 Location: na
Posted: 05-23-06 10:53am
Hello,
are you still addicted to adderall? They
told me that adderall is less stimulating
than ritalin. I guess that isn't true
huh.
I hope you are okay
