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How Do I Deal With a Bipolar Wife? (Page 3)

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May 20th, 2010
my bi-polar wife
my wife is bi-polar and its really hard on both of us. we have been together for 8 years and married for 2 and half. 3 years ago she was diagnosed as bipolar. she has lied, cheated, spent more money than i make. i still love her dearly and i want to be there for her every step of the way. lately my father was diagnosed with leukemia and she took it real hard( they were really close). she tells me she wants a divorce and she wants to be alone but doesnt want to move out or take me out of her life. ive done everything for her, i worked alot so she could focus on her degree which she didnt get(only needs 1 more class to get a 4yr degree). she has a problem of running and self medicating. when she tells me she not in love with me anymore and wants to leave me, is it really the bi-polar talking. everything ive read says it is but i cant stop thinking maybe its true.

any advice
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replied June 18th, 2010
help!!!!!!!!biolar wife and disabled ol' me
my wife and i been married 6 yrs. when we first met we rareley left eachothers side and had no real problems then we got married i started to notice the very cruel things she says to me and others and her disregard for me and my feelings . i had talked to freinds and family to figure out what was going on after 4 yrs and 2 of then bringing up the possibility that she had bi polar she would get infuriated at me and blow up then not spek to me ... for days. so she had finnaly agreed to see someone and sha was in fact bi polar and was givin the proper meds and so i had hoped things would b better. i was a carpenter and had a bussiness of my own and made good money my back wasnt great but i endured then i got up one day and couldnt get my own clothes on it seems i had great unrepairable injuries that had disabled me and started seeing many doctors myself so after 2 yrs i finally got my disability, i am disabled and cant do alot i am in pain constantly my wife being bipolar has been especialy mean about the fact that i cant workand my lack o duties that i can perform
she had been given higher doses of the meds and still no happy medium days she pissed or depresed all the time and i feel depressed after 6 yrs of abuse now im no saint i love my wife with all my heart but i feel afraid to say anything to her cuz she gets pissed or says nasty comment like i wish i could lay arund and do whatever i want, someones gotta workaround here and much worse things as u can imagine being bi polar going off the handle isputting it midly . i say to myself its just the illness but she has threatened to divorce me atleast 4-8 times a year over 6 yrs and my illness added to our situation it i know would be hard for regular couples but i find it well becoming harder toeven take anything she says seriously at times and i loveher so much .. she puts all the weight on herself and is so controling and has to b%$@ch about everything i tell her i lover everyday i get an ... aha or ya i mean its just so damned hard and i want her to be happy and i want to be happy and our children my god ...... well i hate divorce i dont beleive in it nor do i want it. but are we to be miserable? she asked me once what % is our relationship good to bad happy to sad i said 50-50 dumb move even tho it was true. i try to reason when things happen in life but theres no consoling a control freak with bipolar i just am so depressed with our situation and scaredi just dont know what to do . times are hard even for most folks but me a cripple and my wife having bipolar is there hope i just give it to god cuz i am out of ideas and have no sheild left for the abuse and belittling .... meds? mayb i need some but than i wouldnt be me. i cant lift over 10 lbs and most times i try to do more cuz she pushes me to feel bad about myself and end up bedridden for days . i just hope .... someday..... things will be good. ty for letting me vent
signed criplled husband
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replied June 20th, 2010
criplle754,

Sounds like a tough situation with your wife and your disability. If nothing else, I think it's cathartic to vent a little on these forums, because mental illness is a difficult thing to talk about with most people who haven't experienced it directly. They typically don't understand. I understand because my wife, who I have been married to for over ten years, is bipolar with psychosis.

In the last year she has had two massive manic cycles in which she goes completely out of her mind. She becomes paranoid; thinks the neighbors are out to get her; thinks she has religious visions; gets irrational fears. We have three beautiful children, and one day when I left her to rest for ten minutes while I picked up our kids from school, I found her walking determinedly down the street in her pajamas, insisting that a person she hardly knows needed a hug. I suppose I should be grateful that she is at least friendly when she's crazy and doesn't go on sex and drug binges, although without proper oversight I can see how someone in this state of mind could do just about anything. After a week of inpatient treatment she stabilized, then tanked into depression. I had to take her back in for a few days because she started getting suicidal.

It's impossible to overstate how disruptive this illness is to our lives. I love her and will stand with her through this, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that there are moments when I wonder if it's worth it. I have a good career, but it is demanding, and whenever a cycle hits she is completely non-functional as a mother and wife. Worse, she needs to be baby-sat so that she doesn't hurt herself or the kids. The financial burden of the constant hospitalizations is wearing on me as well. We have a high deductible insurance and I figure I need to budget between $4 to $6K a year just for her medications and hospital stays. I sometimes wonder if it is healthy to expose the kids to all of this or if they would be better off just seeing their mother a few times a month if we separated. Then I see how much she adds to our family when she has good moments and I recommit myself to seeing this through. Just hard sometimes not to be able to talk to anybody who really understands what I am going through. I don't dare to tell anyone at work the real reason my wife is constantly ending up in the hospital for long periods of time. I don't tell people I know at church or even close friends because I don't want them to ostracize her and treat her differently. I try to protect her reputation, but the effect is isolating to some degree...

Anyway, best of luck working through your situation. I am still trying to figure out the best way to deal with future cycles. She is trying out different meds, but I don't have a whole lot of confidence that she won't relapse. The only long term solution I can think of is to hire a nanny who can not only help with the kids when she cycles, but also watch over her wellbeing. Unfortunately nanny's cost a fortune. Has anybody found a way to keep continuity with your job and life when these cycles hit? If so, please share. Thanks,
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Users who thank lemons1 for this post: stevenfoster 

replied July 14th, 2010
MY WIFE HAS BIPOLAR
it has been a hell hole living with my wife for only four months, its hard to even explain every thing who feels it knows it, i cant deal with this it will cause me to go crazy, she sold her ring and left and said shes not coming back home.
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replied June 21st, 2011
Your bi polar wife:(
I know you may not want to hear this, but if she left most likely she will come back (or maybe not.) What you have to do is think about you, take care of yourself and dont let it hurt you. Do what you can for your spouse and dont become co-dependent, it will only become an abusive life for you. If she doesnt come back, maybe...your better off, Im so sorry. Good luck..
Em
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replied August 4th, 2010
bipolar wife
My wife has pretty severe bi-polar and refuses to take medication. She was taking paxil for awhile, but stopped because it "made her feel like a zombie". Which is obviously a sign of too large of a dose. After a few tries at finding the correct dosage, she gave up and started self-medicating with marijuana. It worked for a short time. She was much happier and less prone to explosive behavior, but over time it had an adverse effect. She would explode when she didn't have it, then eventually turned to general substance abuse. I've stuck by her for a long time. Even apologized in most cases where I hadn't done anything wrong. Now her family has gotten involved with us and they blame me as well. OCD and bipolar run in their family as thick as the blood that carries them. I do my best to try not to argue with any of them and find myself being submissive to their mental and on occasion, physical abuse. Now they are pushing her to get a divorce and she agrees, but doesn't understand why she agrees. She screams at me, telling me to leave almost everday. When I try to go she doesn't want me to leave and stops me by any means neccesary. I love my wife and I am extremely concerned for her welfare. We have two small boys that witness her mood swings everyday, and it has begun to take its toll on them. They are completely afraid of her now. I spend hours with them, telling them how much mommy loves them, and how it's not their fault, "she will be ok soon". I love her dearly and I want the woman I married back, but I've made my decision: If she refuses to acknowledge her problem and take medication for it, I refuse to stay in the marriage. I really want to stay by my wife's side and help her, but she refuses to help herself. With many attempts at her suicide and endless hate letters, I'm at the end of my rope.Most of this behavior results from me writing a love letter or just a general "hey" note. When it comes to bringing in help, she puts on an act in front of them and attempts to make it seem like nothing is wrong. When asked to seek couseling(marital and individual), she refuses and takes offense to it. When I ask her to open up and talk to me, she curses me for asking. For you men with bipolar wives that go through this same type of behavior, its probably best to just leave. God forbid something happen to her or your children (if you have any) while you are there. Remember the government doesn't care about the truth, only what you can prove. Bipolar is a serious mental illness and my advice is to protect yourself and just go if it gets too bad. Best of luck to you all living this nightmare that doesn't have an end. 8 years of it and I'm finally going to go. Even though I love her, its just not safe for us here anymore.
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replied July 22nd, 2011
Yip,going through the same and my wife is in total denial though and is abusive daily now and the physical abuse is increasing.I have 2 little ones and i am cash strapped as i have been milked to death as well so cant really leave until got some cash....nightmare of note
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replied August 7th, 2010
Unfortunately,my experience here is that people living with a bipolar spouse generally dont have answers to questions like this. And people with bipolar will tell you to be "understanding" and try to "figure out what she needs". Those are NOT answers to this question and should be disregarded. Let me ask you something,would you let someone who didnt have bipolar treat you this way or would you walk on down the f-ing road? Bipolar is NOT an excuse to treat someone with abuse or neglect as much as your wife might try to convince you it is.Why do we give them special exceptions to beat us down? Would people have done that 100 years ago? Right!!
You guys can sit there and say" Barto is just bitter",well you bet your butt Im bitter at this point! How many different mind warps can you go through before you start to realize THINGS WILL NEVER CHANGE! Im an advocate for the people who have been negatively affected by their spouse with BP because thats what I know. When is enough going to be enough with the special exceptions and free passes to just go insane on us? ITS NOT FAIR! Look at all the pain on this site! Thats ALL THERE IS!!
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Users who thank Barto for this post: stevenfoster  stevenfoster 

replied July 6th, 2011
Barto is correct. Would people have done that 100 years ago? Well about 200 years ago these ladies were burning on stakes in Salem. About 200 seconds ago, one is getting stoned (rocks tossed at them) in the Middle East. I do not advocate violence. In our society, drug them, divorce them, protect your children from them. Keep away from them because ALL they do is harm. There is 1 in 10 that actually functions, the rest should be put on an iceberg & set adrift.
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replied October 4th, 2010
Mental Illness is a broken leg that seems to never mend!
Seems to me the Dr.'s and therapists, also the Pharm. co.'s , are cashing in on all of us. experimenting on our wives, try this try that. Experimenting with my FAMILY!! Nothing but a big money maker as far as I'm concerned. Like a vet. looking at a cat, cow, what ever.No feelings for the people that suffer; thoughs along with the mentally ill! Big business that's all it is. These problems are mind numbing, for the spouses and the children. I think Dr. Amen has a answer, change you mind change your life. HELP!!!
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replied October 27th, 2010
LIFE WITH BIPOLAR Spouse is hell on earth.

I wish I had something positive to tell everyone. I've been married for 20 yrs. I have stories that would make most people crazy just from hearing them. My wife doesn't take her meds. Recently she was told she has RA the med for this is also effective for Bi-Polar. The weeks that she takes the meds for RA the family is good. The days she doesn't I can tell pretty easily. Same as always, remind her about the meds and get blasted. We have 4 kids together and she has 1 older child that I adopted so we have 5 kids. I'm tired and my older kids are not better for me staying with her. Get them on meds. I'm about to throw in the 20 year old towel for the sake of my younger kids and my personal sanity. Good luck and know that when my wife is on meds we live like a normal family. If you find the right meds and "help" them to remember to take them things can be better. The trick I dont have is how to have them take the meds regularly.
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replied December 10th, 2010
Bipolar Wife
I've read all the previous messages. My wife was recently diagnosed bi-polar a few weeks ago. We've been married for 12 years and have four beautiful daughters. I'm 46 and have two masters degrees, one in engineering and one in business.

First off, I love my wife and don't believe in divorce. I consider myself a very strong person, someone reliable, but dfinitely not perfect. I try to be as good a Christian as I can.

All that said, I am amazed at how much I feel kin to those who've written their stories above. I've always known deep down that my wife has issues. I hadn't read anything on bi-polar until the last couple of weeks. Previously we had just considered her issues part of post-partum depression, or regular depression. She had gone on Paxil and another anti-depressant years ago, and things improved markedly, but as with others here, she didn't stay on the medicine and things got worse.

What makes my situation complicated is that I'm no saint, and come from a dysfunctional family. My mother was an alcoholic, and looking back on it, she exhibited 'biplar' symptoms as I recall. I do know that my own issues have some bearing on all of this, so it's definitely not purely one-sided.

On the other hand, there are clear episodes where things should be going fine, and they don't. When we were first married, she had a job, but lost that due to relational issues. At the time I went along with her version and blamed it on others, but as the years blazed on, it became evident that all the relational issues had her behavior and intolerance of others as the root.

I'm pretty type B, so it was easier for me to hold my toungue, but now we are to the point where I am rarely saying anything of importance because I don't want to "set her off.' She constantly threatens divorce, but I know that she knows I love her and won't leave, so she never follows through.

Perhaps this latest diagnosis is a Godsend. She is in the first stages of the treatment, trying to find the optimal meds. So far with limited success as we had an 'episode" today where she called me and everyone around "evil."

From my experiences, and what I've read from others, I know that on first blush, my life may not seem to be one of thost stories with a happy ending.

But I also know from my world view that life for most people isn't ever easy. In fact, what I've found, is that the perfect life is not what people routinely think it is.

I will continue to stand by my wife and this issue...I'll use all the resources available to ensure that we do all the footwork we can...and the bottom line is that the strength to get through this and the hope that will surely have our family thrive will not be mine at all, which is how it is meant to be.
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replied February 12th, 2011
If something is really outrageous or bothering you do not treat an adult like a child. Spit it out. If they are raging and throwing you have every right and a moral obligation to protect yourself--remove yourself from the scene.

Read more: Bipolar Disorder Forum - How Do I Deal With a Bipolar Wife? http://ehealthforum.com/health/topic47487. html#ixzz1DkuGM4Jo
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replied June 8th, 2011
Just stand by her side!!
I have been dx with bipolar for 23 years now! Although it has been a hell ride I have learned to accect that it is who I am!
I don't understand why if the first meds were working y they would take her off of them! Something is not adding up. And know sleeping and lieing around all day is not normal unless that is what she wants to do.
Everyone is different meds work diffferent, what work for u might not work for me.
It has only been the last 2 two years of my life that I have got it together! Its because I stopped running and my family stayed by my side know matter what. I started taking my meds regularly,I got clean (because I took street drugs for my meds)I did whatever it took and beileve me it wasnt easy and my mom was there by my side all the way. What I am saying if u leave yr wife now she will only get worse because people only seem to leave us as soon as things get bad. I promise u if she wants to get better and finds the meds that help her and u stay by her side the whole time she wont give up either!!! I am not saying that this whole two years has been peaches-n-cream but I am human too. But I go to the doc every 3 month take my meds everyday! And I started school last spring! Just because we r bipolar doesnt mean we r dead,dumb,or dont exist. Embrace it and u will find out a lot my great things about yourself I promise you that! You can't run from it cuz it will only catch up to u! So just turn around and face up to it because its knows ones fault in the first place! However, it is yr fault if u dont takecare of yrself!!!
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replied June 21st, 2011
Seems like you have a handle on things, good luck..Im happy for you. You make some good points, especially about taking care of yourself. My partner is on the right meds now, I want to take care of her to the point that I forget about myself, and I know I cant become co dependent and not do for me. So I really must emphasize to all that live with an ill loved one to think of your own well-being, because two ill people in one house hold will only end in disaster...take care
Em
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replied July 6th, 2011
GET A DIVORCE

There is a better than 90% chance that if you don't, you will be harmed. That is the FACT. BP ex-wife & MIL. Take it as a case study. The FIL was relegated to a home & even though drugged to the hilt, spontaneously disintegrates into tears because of the depression brought on by the MILs actions. His cottage sold, his house sold, he as nothing but patrolled isolation from the BPD vulture MIL. The mas was a well respected doctor. The MIL move in with my ex-wife. The two vie for maximum victimhood while at the same time verbally & emotionally abuse my kids. Meanwhile Dad was falsely charged with DV, so now unemployed & unemployable in my field because of the resulting record. My life savings went to lawyer fees. The little time I have with my kids is spent tutoring, their marks have fallen from 80%s to bare passes (BECAUSE OF THE BPD ABUSE)

When total strangers say DIVORCE & NO CONTACT, when you look at the destroyed people.. just do it. BP / BPD women are toxic poison. Your life should be worth more to you.
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replied July 22nd, 2011
I agree with walking away after you have tried everything that you can. My husband is bi polar and he has made my life hell for 6 years now. I haven't walked away because i have always felt like i need to help him but that honestly made my life worse. I am now in a situation where i have nothing and i feel depressed. He has me in unbelievable debt..he's turned into a raging alcohlic...he has become abusive and he neglects his kids. So to anyone out there who is dealing with someone that is bi polar you can only do so much. Don't feel bad about walking away especially if you have children because i am living proof that staying can make matters a lot worse for your kids and yourself.
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replied August 11th, 2011
Extremely eHealthy
hi, so do u have a birth control that works since now u know the consequences of this disease?
r the kids his as u referred to them that way.
does he have other family like bro and sis that can take care of the kids?
good luck and maybe what u say will help others not to get into your situation
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replied August 11th, 2011
help
i Have been with my partner for 13 years now and living together for 2 years my god they have been hard when we met i was the life and sole of the party always happy and realy enjoyed life now as all of us with a partner with bp i am a reck mind what i say head down and always agree with her so as not to upset her i feel weak and sad most of the time now her temper went very eratic more than normal yesterday and she hit me and went to pull my 5 year old boy i love her so much but dont know how much more i can take again she is on diferent med and i think she was beter off med completly we dont get any help off the doctors they just give her sleping tablets and knock out tablits what help is that i am woried she will take her life as she now talks about it a lot what can i do all her family think im the one causing it all they dont see what i go through i need help how do i get it and what to do
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replied August 11th, 2011
help
i Have been with my partner for 13 years now and living together for 2 years my god they have been hard when we met i was the life and sole of the party always happy and realy enjoyed life now as all of us with a partner with bp i am a reck mind what i say head down and always agree with her so as not to upset her i feel weak and sad most of the time now her temper went very eratic more than normal yesterday and she hit me and went to pull my 5 year old boy i love her so much but dont know how much more i can take again she is on diferent med and i think she was beter off med completly we dont get any help off the doctors they just give her sleping tablets and knock out tablits what help is that i am woried she will take her life as she now talks about it a lot what can i do all her family think im the one causing it all they dont see what i go through i need help how do i get it and what to do
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replied August 11th, 2011
Ok wow…everyone thinks bipolar people are crazy…but most of you are! Telling people to divorce the person they love…just because you had a rough go at it. I don’t know your situations, but people who are bipolar can be in a loving forever marriage. Yes we have highs and lows and say things we don’t mean and all of that. I have been there and done that with my family…but you know what. My family came around….my family realized they love who I am….I am “Me” more than I am anything else.
You all think you have it bad….life is so hard for you…well try being bipolar. Try living in a euphoria high…where there are no worries in the world, you are like a kid, nothing has consequences and life is AMAZING….then as it will always happen you are on the other end and sad and depressed, dealing with consequences and the sorrows cannot even be described. It takes a VERY STRONG person to be able to survive these things. Bipolar people are very strong…even though you don’t think they are.
This guys wife IS TAKING MEDICINE….she is trying! He is trying! Right there that is going to get them through all of this. There are many other things they can do still to balance out each other. You all have these horror stories….but you all say they don’t take medicine or go on and off it. There are steps as a loved one you can do…then there are some you cannot do. They are telling you to go to hell and everything. NOT ALL BIPOLAR PEOPLE ARE EVIL AND INCAPIBLE OF LOVE AND A NORMAL LIFE! Unconditional love….love who they are…forgive their miscomings….but yes…they need to be taking care of themselves to get forgiveness.
Here are my words of advice from a bipolar women and daughter of a bipolar mother.
Help her eat healthy (google healthy food and you will get recipes and all sorts of info), Get her in sunlight...soak up natural vitamin D. Multivitamins! Be active and help her be active. There are great holistic medicines such as tarantula hisp. Helps with moods and can be taken with prescription medicines and does not affect it. Have her take glucosamine, helps the body feel limber and more active. (most are made with shellfish). You can get liquid melatonin use this to get on a good sleep schedule. Help her find something she loves to do and can go to it when she is sad. Bipolar people are typically very creative people. She could have talents you don’t even know about. What does she love, what makes her happy?

As far as medications….research them online. There are a lot of medicines doctors put bipolar people on for depression that are not compatible with the chemical imbalance bipolar people have. Another important fact about bipolar medicine is that is takes 6 months to a year to truly see the therapeutic effects. But if she is feeling “dead” and can’t stop sleeping since starting taking it…it is probably not for her. There are MANY depression medicines that will “SNAP” a bipolar person. Our brains run at a million miles a minute…depressed or manic. Some medicines make being in your own skin feel completely impossible.
I am bipolar, I am a competitive athlete, and live life very full, but like your wife I find myself not being able to get out of bed, go to work and want to sleep all the time. It could be the sickest deepest powder day that normally would make me pee myself in excitement and not be able to get out of bed and go. Netflix has been awesome for me…I can watch Series and I start to look forward to getting up and watching another episode. Going to yoga has helped me also…go with her…it is fun. I have many creative things I do, sewing, crotcheting, glass blowing, polymer clay, scrapbooking, cooking, gardening and much more. Take a pottery class. Now…I will be honest I do certain ones depending on my highs and lows. My boyfriend has a dog and when I moved in with him, his dog became my best friend. Right there at my side when I am sad and he tells my boyfriend if I am ok or not…it is quite cute. I take him on walks every evening which bonds us both and it is great to see his happiness that I help him achieve, which gives me happiness. All of these things I am listing come recommended from my doctor and 100% they help…but you gotta really dive in and work at it.
My mother is bipolar like myself and so I can understand 100% both sides of this story. I see how hard it is when someone is sad and unmotivated. My mother went undiagnosed til she was 40, she kicked me out of the house when I was 17, we had to get lawyers involved in many things and I could have cared less if she died….but then one day I said…she is my mother. We started to mend our relationship and then I shattered my back and had major surgery and you know who was there for me the most….My Bipolar mother. She bathed me, brushed my hair, woke up at all hours to give me medicine…got me out the door everyday walking for therapy, even when I was sad and didn’t want to. Took a month off of work with no pay to be my nurse AND was in a LOW!….how can a women who is that good inside be so horrible. It is because that is the person she TRULY is and her disorder causes issues in her life. My mother and me have a great relationship now…it is hard at times both of us being bipolar, but no one knows what I am truly feeling more than she does. I now know my mom really well and know things that will get her off the couch. I struggle with my mother a lot…she does not like taking medicines. It is also a frustration of her husbands. Finally the past couple months she has come to the reality of what she has and what she needs to do to keep the people around her that she loves and loves her. She likes the opera and theatre, so we go and do that a lot. Having her helps me…she needs me, I need her. When I am in a low and she is also, it helps me pull myself up and go on a bike ride with her.
As far as my boyfriend…he is amazing. Not saying we have not had our ups and downs…but overall we are in love. We have come up with code words for moods I can diagnose myself being in. Such as I am: “sad” “weird” happy” “scared” “edgy” etc… We have talked about how I feel when I talk about each of these words. He can then ask me these words and I can say yes or no to them. He lets me lay at home when I am sad, working hard to make money from me not going to work for a day here and there. But when he sees me working hard bring in money…it means so much to him, especially when he knows I am struggling through a mood. He knows when he needs to step in and drag me to a movie, on a scenic drive, etc… He helps me take my medicine on time and we have discussed how important this is to our relationship and my place in society. He comes to my work to give me a hug when I have those days where every 40 minutes I cry for 10 minutes for absolutely no reason. Helps support me eating well, sleeping regularly and again…will support any creative outlet that is healthy for me that I show interest in.

I don’t know exactly what all of you have been through….but I know what me and my family have been through and it was tough with my mother and myself. It makes me cry to think of what I put them through before, but I have to remember I can control that with my medicines and all the things I listed earlier in this message. I was prescribed a medicine which is not good for bipolar people and ended up overdoing on ambien to try and stop my mind from running and my soul felt like it wanted to rip through my skin to get out. It is not something I can even start to express the feeling of…one of the worst feelings in the world…it was a worse pain than shattering my back and severing part of my spinal cord, if that can give you an idea. I did not want to die, I did not intend to kill myself, I intended to stop the feelings I described.

I am sorry for this long message…but I feel everyone is so negative about bipolar. My mother makes 6 figures because she is bipolar, I have been very successful in sports and professional jobs because I am bipolar. Managing my highs and lows has helped me be a successful creative person surviving in society today.
I have thought long and hard if I could have the choice to be bipolar or not, but it has made me who I am, it has made me a survivor, it has made me strong and it has put me in a position to help educate others on what this disease truly is. To help educate people on taking medicines, exercising and being creative. We are handed things in life for a reason. I was given bipolar for a reason, my family was given me for a reason and we are all meant to be together. So I hope someone reads this and can understand a bit of bipolarness, learn things to do to help someone who is bipolar and to help yourself.

I challenge all of you to get off the couch and do something, make your life healthier and help that bipolar person you love to get off the couch and do something towards a healthier life. Love them, help them and don’t give up on them.
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replied December 4th, 2011
Experienced User
what a wonderful uplifting -post. thanks!
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replied August 23rd, 2011
How about some real help for us codependents?
I have known my girlfriend for 11 years. We have lived together for 4. I got my girlfriend med coverage, got her to go see the doctor, she was diagnosed with BP and ADHD. She is on meds but has to keep adjusting them and God forbid she misses a dose. She says nasty things, rants, her non-verbals are vicious and overall she is downright Nasty half the time. The STRESS and DRAMA has me self-medicating, unable to sleep, not eating, and Angry most of the day. Friends tell me I am crazy for being with her, her counsellors tell her she shouldn't be with me, which sets her off and sends her home to unleash on me. She seems to be able to control it at work, but at home feels she should be able to "be herself." Now she is unemployed, depressed, and the whole household (me, her, and my 3 kids) walk on eggshells all day. Hey, I love my girlfriend, but I feel my own sanity and health slipping. Must I be strong for her and take her abuse? What about my kids? I am tired of the BP excuse. "you need to understand me, you need to understand the disease, it's not me!" Not one person on this thread has posted any specific coping mechanisms. All I hear is the same tired, "take it like a champ because you love them," argument but never a suggestion how to do that. What do I say or do when she just says rude and mean things out of the blue and then tells me I am lucky she did not say what she really wanted to say? Do I run like a little kid? Do I stand there dumbfounded at how this could come from someone I spend so much time and effort on? Do I go read a bipolar book? For people who want compassion because of their illness, they show precious little for us codependents (yes I said it.) There is no way you can stay with a person like this and not be. Self sacrifice is noble in some cases, but I am beginning to think I am just a sucker with a good heart. I am a good man, but my name is not Job.
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replied October 27th, 2011
My husband bipolar
My husband is bipolar but he won't accept it. He don't believe in medicine and seeing a therapist. I'm afraid if he don't get help I will have to get a divorce. I am so stressed out and I have three young children to care for. I can't live like this but I feel guilty in wanting a divorce.
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replied November 12th, 2011
Hey Carla I found out my husband was bipolar a few months ago when I realised he was makin himself sick and had bulimia I threatened divorce, i threatened to leave unless he got help and it worked oh the is bipolar which puts a few other things into perspective.

Everyday I struggle I think to myself that I deserve better and I can't handle it but then I think how does he feel as well, keep your chin up babes n talk 2 him make him relise outtake it to the extreme and threaten divorce then he might relise he needs help xx
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replied November 9th, 2011
I am bipolar and my significant other tries to help o much.. its not that like i TRY to be the way I am. ITs so hard no matter how many I'm sorry's i get or make ups, it just doenst seem to work. what always seems to work, which isnt always so GREAT, is that we lay next to eachother, he keeps quiet, i say some smart remark, then 5 mins later we are kissing and I am the one apologizing, yes i AM bipolar but its hard to try not to let it affect you. The advice I have is to be very patient.
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