I've suffered with social phobia for the past 4 years and it seems to stem from my confidence levels/life experiences/low esteem/guilt/doubt/fear & negative self-image.
Social phobia can arise due to many different factors so be honest and think about the following;
what are your symptoms?
How would you describe yourself as a person?
Is this a new thing or have you always had social issues?
Are you taking any prescription /recreational drugs?
Can you recall the "trigger" for these feelings?
If you can explain a bit more about what you are feeling I can give you a better idea of how to overcome it, but here are some tips to tackle social phobia:
1, social settings- limit your social encounters to places you feel comfortable in.
2, friends - spend more time with friends who are chatty/bubbly/non-judgemental.
3, psych your self up- listen to really cool "happy" music before you go out.
Write this down & remember
feelings are a "hardwired human condition" and we act on/react to them; but with focus we can choose not to!
Emotions are aroused from experiences & feelings and social phobia comes from the questions that we ask ourselves and what we focus on:
i.E. You have a headache and your feeling sh**y so you focus on what your feeling,... But have you ever been in that situation & something has completely distracted you and taken your focus away? (like a call from an old friend or a last minute work project that you had to get finished)
then when you got back to what you were doing your headache had gone?
This is because your mind became focused on something other than what you were feeling.
Feelings are physical and come from sub-conscious dispositions - emotional states are the result of questions we ask ourselves about what we are feeling and our reactions to them. Everyone throughout the day asks themselves questions based on feelings like:
what am I going to do today? (what do I feel like doing)?
Can I do this? (am I strong enough, is this something I can do)
why hasn't this person called me yet? (feels like I done something wrong)
what do I wear today? (do I want to wear colourful clothes/dress up/down)?
It all depends on your feelings.
We may also ask ourselves questions like; why does this always happen to me, or what have I done wrong to deserve this? And lot of the time we ask ourselves questions without paying much attention or being consciously aware of it. Sometimes people can develop a negative thought pattern that creates self-doubt/un-certainty when around others.
Now this is a great way to overcome it:
imagine your brain as a "super computer" (it is a compendium of life experiences) instead of "yourself" ask "your computer" a question and wait for an answer. For example you could say to yourself; where is the nearest cinema? Well this computer is full of every comment, experience and memory of your life so it will run through everything in its "database" and come back in a nano-second with the answer - it's in the local high street.
But it also can use the data and make up an answer to any question you put to it like; why am I so fat? The most likely answer for a fat person would be; you are fat because you eat too much and have no self-control!
See what I mean? This way you can ask yourself questions but disregard the negative answers and start to ask more positive questions like; how can I overcome my phobias? What steps can I take to feel more comfortable around people?
Hope this helps and if you want any more advice just ask! Xx
