I'm going through a difficult time.
Don't know the explanation of it and the
symptoms i've been experiencing may be due
to lack of sleep and anxiety. When
trying to get to sleep/do relaxation
exercises "shimmering light" type
hallucinations and hear people talking to
one another. This is a more recent thing
although for as long as I can remember
i've heard noises in my bedroom of things
that aren't there. Used to think it was
dead ppl/spirits trying to communicate but
I don't believe in that stuff anymore.
Sense of danger coming. Suspicious of
people, and think they share information
about me with each other and sometimes
that they are looking to trap me. Long
history of depression, currently taking
sertraline. Violent/persecutory
nightmares, wake up in cold sweat.
Frequent impulses to harm myself tho I
don't give in to it. Just been referred
for counselling again, it started
yesterday but it only lasts 6 weeks.
Gp's tend to be dismissive of what i'm
saying. When I feel ill I find it hard
to articulate what's going on in my head.
When I feel better I can talk but feel
detached from it and so perhaps don't come
accross as sincere. Frightened to
explain it all to doc, it comes out in
dribs and drabs, i'm scared of what
doctors will think. My family have
always said that "i'm
sensitive/hysterical" or whatever and
laughed at me.
Feel a bit better right now, but a couple
of weeks ago felt my head had turned
against me and wasn't listening to me.
It wasn't doing what I was telling it to
do and that was to calm down. I had to
shout at myself to stop the negative
thought processes. Am I going bonkers or
is this just a stress thing? Alot of
stressful things in my life which i'm now
trying to tackle one at a time. It's
important for me to feel I have some
control.
Seeing/hearing things whatever the
explanation is no fun and I would rather
not have it.
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alexis233
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 14
Can Relate Posted: 01-31-06 22:05pm
I definitely can relate to some of the
things you're experiencing (horrible
dreams, the pressure of voices/mental
attacks, impulses to harm yourself, deep
depression for years & not being able
to explain well what's happening to you).
I have had schiz. For 20 yrs.
You need to be completely open with your
doctor & tell him everything that
you're experiencing (even if you're
ashamed of it). If they don't believe
you or look at you funny, find a caring,
compassionate doctor who understands and
believes you. They shouldn't do this
bcause they are there to listen &
understand no matter what & are
supposed to be caring & compassionate.
So find a doctor who is that way &
who you feel you can be completely open
with if the one you're seeing right now
isn't like that.
As far as your parents, don't even worry
if they won't believe or pay attention to
you. A lot of times they do this bcause
of denial; deep in their mind they don't
want to face the fact that their child may
have a serious mental condition. Both
my parents saw that something was
seriously wrong w/ me & neither did
anything to help me (i even asked for help
but they didn't help me). Just do
whatever you need to do to take care of
yourself & have no fear.
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Galaxy
Supporter
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 514 Location: U.K,
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-17-06 04:42am
I just came across this topic and I find
it quite distressing that in our
enlightened society we still have the
situation where schizophrenia is a taboo
subject. Blackbow was having a bad
enough time dealing with his symptoms
without the support of his parents, but as
for the trained professional who entirely
dismissed his concerns - it really is
disheartening. Blackbow has hopefully
found a better doctor and I would like to
know how things are for him now.
There really ought to be more effort made
to raise awareness in the public about
schizophrenia and the mental anguish that
the patients are generally going through.
For whatever reason, we seem not to have
moved on from medieval times when
schizphrenics were locked up, tortured and
even killed in the mistaken belief that
they were possessed by demons.
