i am so scared, my insides hurt so bad,
from my tongue and throat down to my
intestines. I know I am really hurting
myself now. I can't remember the last
time I didn't throw up my food. I got
better once, and now it is worse than it
ever was. Sometimes 4 times a day. I
can't function, go to class, do my work,
or even have a social life. I can't stop
thinking about food, the way I look, what
others think. Please I need to talk to
someone please someone help, I am throwing
up the tums that I have been chewing to
make my stomach feel better. The only
time I am in pease is when I sleep which
has even be hard. I don't want to do this
anymore, I can't talk to anyone I am so
embarrassed.
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mimizol
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 3 Location: fort washington
You Need to Talk to Someone... Posted: 11-14-05 22:18pm
Dear hurtingso,
i'm so sorry you are going through such a
terrible time. You can take control, but
you need to get help from a doctor. Only
a professional can help you figure out to
save yourself and that is what you need to
do ... Save yourself.
|
hurtingso
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2005 Posts: 2
First Time Posted: 11-14-05 22:26pm
When my parents found out the first
time... It made it worse. I got better
but on there terms. I have tried to seek
counseling but obviously it doesn't help.
I just get defensive or cry. I need a
friend, but im too embarressed to tell
one.
My dad thought I was digusting. I put my
mom into her own depression. They don't
have the money for therapy. All they did
was tell me they couldn't afford it. I
just needed to stop it. They kept saying
you are killing yourself.
I am 21 a senior year in college... And I
need to finish school. I need to start a
life.
|
mimizol
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 3 Location: fort washington
Hurtingso Posted: 11-14-05 22:44pm
You're parents obviously don't understand
what you are dealing with. Your father
is probably scared and ill in formed.
You are not disgusting...Period. You
have a sickness that can be treated, but
it doesn't work over night; sometimes it
takes years. Don't allow yourself to
take the blame for your mothers
depression, you have enough to deal with.
Your lack of support must be terrible,
you need all the support you can get.
Don't be ashamed. More than likely your
college has someone who can help you find
the resources to get better. It won't be
easy, but there is help out there that
doesn't cost anything...Go to your school
counsler and tell him/het what is going on
they know how to help you deal.
|
sephia3
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Sep 2005 Posts: 3
Posted: 11-17-05 20:31pm
Yes, if you dont have the money to go to a
dr you need to seek other resources. Try
reading a book on ed or nutrition and it
may help you to understand things better.
Ive been in the same spot you r in right
now and trust me it does get better but
you can only rely on yourself. People
will be resistant helping you, especially
your parents because they do not
understand the disease. My parents did
not want anything to do with it and would
just get angry but I understood that they
didnt really understand. I think they
may feel scared and so they deny it and
dont want to come to terms with the fact
that their daughter has a possibly
life-threating disease. Others will say
they will help you, but really, how much
can they do. Just try to love yourself,
think of how you want your future to be,
and work on taking care of yourself
because in the end that is who is most
important. Please feel free to pour your
heart out to us because we will be here
for you, anonymous, with out judgement,
and with much support. Also, if you
continue to purge, your body will continue
to hurt. You will come to a point where
your body will not let you purge.
Believe me, I did it for 8 years and if I
have an episode these days...It hurts real
bad and it is definitely not worth it.
And if you do continue to feel real bad,
please seek medical help. I know you r
21 and trying to graduate and you think
you dont have the money but your health is
more important. Go online, do some
research, and find a Dr. Who can help
you...Probably a gastro who can look at
your tummy and esophagus. I avoided drs
for so long because of the $ and now that
I let it go so far I owe $1000s of dollars
to drs. But hey, its my health and I
want to live a long life and if it means
having medical bills pile up then tough, I
will have to deal with that. I can say
even though I do owe all that $...I am
feeling much better with drs help. Take
care...
