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Q: Freakin' Out About Going to the Gynecologist
asked by: totallyafraid on November 13th, 2005
New User
Okay, this is going to make me sound like a totally neurotic basket case, but that's what I am right now. I'm a 25 year old virgin who has never been to the gynecologist before. I was planning on never going until i'm married and pregnant, well that was before I started having some serious problems, that I won't go into at the moment. Anyway, I wouldn't call the Dr., so my friend called and scheduled an appt. For nov. 30th for me with her Dr. I can't believe they let her schedule the appt., so sneaky of her. Okay, i'm like totally scared. I mean I know I have to go because I have to find out what's wrong with me, but i'm so scared about what's going to happen. Stirrups freak me out anytime I see them, and i'm afraid it's all going to hurt. And what if I say or do something stupid? What if I don't shave right? (yes, i'm crazy at the moment) my friend told the people that I have a major phobia of doctors, and they said she could go through the whole thing with me, but it's too embarassing to have her in there during the exam, although it would be nice to have someone hold my hand. I'm just going to close my eyes and hope it's over fast. I don't know if I can handle this! Can someone give me some clues (yes, I know I need to calm down) or something to make this seem easier or something. I wonder if I should take valium before I go (seriously)? Can you all tell me what will happen? My friend has told me like a zillion times, but she might be leaving stuff out so as not to scare me. What if the gown doesn't cover me right? That will totally freak me out? What if I laugh or cry when I get back there? My poor friend who has to drive me over there will be listening to me freaking out all the way there. Once it's over i'll be fine. Anyway, now that i've vented, i'll talk sanely. Is there anything I should do to prepare myself for this appointment? I want to know what to expect and not be surprised. I'm a teacher, so i'm interested in the facts! If you can help me, i'd appreciate it. I still can't believe i'm going to do this. But my friend (who is my co-worker) and I are taking off work that day and we're going to do something fun afterwards, which is the only good part about it. Anyway..........Help! Oh yeah, the Dr. Is going to be a man. I'm only going to him because my friend has been going to him and says he's nice and really gentle. She says they'll do their best to put me at ease. How can I be at ease when some guy is looking at me there! Lol, i'm so immature about this kind of stuff! Thanks! Sorry for the novel, guess that's just the teacher in me...
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Jessica_CF20
replied on November 13th, 2005
Experienced User
Honney it will be fine I promise dont stress out so much everyone has to get them and im sure everyone is scared the first time after it is over you are going to laugh about how over worked you got ok its fine I hope this helps god bless

jessica
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totallyafraid
replied on November 14th, 2005
New User
Thanks!
Yeah I know i'm getting all worked up, but I seriously am scared to death of doctors. I keep trying to tell myself that women do this everyday and they get through it without having a coronary like I am, but I still can't get over this fear. I would call and cancel the appt., but my friend would kill me. I guess after having to help me to my desk when I almost passed out at work, she thought she needed to take matters into her own hands and steal my information and call. Someday I will thank her for this. She only made the call because she knew I couldn't handle it. She's also older than me, has kids, and has been many times so it's no big deal to her. I am also scared they are going to tell me I can never have kids. Actually, that is one of the main reasons i'm trying to make myself go, I don't want to jeopardize my chances of having kids. I'm also afraid of having to have a hysterectomy, but i'm trying not to borrow trouble. Lol
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Jessica_CF20
replied on November 14th, 2005
Experienced User
She sounds like a wonderful friend just go sing close your eyes whatever but they can ease your worries good luck
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popprincess
replied on November 14th, 2005
Experienced User
I am exactly the same as you, I am terrified of going to the doctors, mainly for smears, the thought petrifies me (even though I have had 4), I am due for my smear but have been putting it off, the best thing you can do is tell them you are very nervous as then they will go more gentle with you, I know exactly how you feel, but imagine the relief when its over!!
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oopoopoop
replied on November 14th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Well, first of all you need to be calm so that you can first tell the doctor exactly why you needed to see them. They will want to talk to you first, before doing any kind of examination. The symptoms you can describe are going to be very important, so that they have a good idea of what might be wrong even before they have a look.

The, the fact is -- they are doctors, not photographers for a top-shelf magazine. They are examining you for medical reasons, not because they like looking at girls' bits. So don't worry about your welcome mat making a fashion statement! Yours isn't the first one they've seen, just imagine what these poor folks have to spend their days looking at -- you can bet they've had quite a wide range go through. To them it is the same as looking at someone's throat.

There's no question that a gynocological exam can be pretty uncomfortable, and the doctors and nurses know that. You are not unusual in not wanting to go. No one (i think!) actually *likes* having a gyno exam!

But if you are concerned, you also know that you have a lot more to lose if you don't go and get things seen to.
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Kymmie
replied on November 14th, 2005
Experienced User
You shouldnt be so nervous :lol: im sure the doctor has seen many diffrent poontangs, so hes not going to judge, hes just there to help you and tell you whats wrong. Depending on what doctor you have will depend on how...Comfortable the papsmear will be, lol.

Good luck! P.S, you have a great friend ^_^
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amomagain
replied on November 14th, 2005
New User
They are right, just be calm and relaxed. Taking some deep breaths when he starts can help calm you down. If you don't want your friend in with you ask for a nurse to be present. They can't say no it's your right. Did your friend give you a step by step as to what the dr will do? It's not that bad. They start with your medical history. They use a "duck bill" (can't remember the name) to open you up, it can be cold ask for it to be warmed under water first. You have to relax when they use this, if your tense you can actually push it out if your muscles are really strong. Then again he might not seeing as how you are a virgin. He will take a swab and have a peek a boo for any visual sighs of problems. Then the "internal" he will use his fingers (some in, some out) for feeling your ovaries and uterus. It doesn't take long. Most Dr. Will tell you what they are going to do first, if your not sure ask him questions as he checks. I usually look around the room, have a conversation with the nurse. Good luck
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ashley_18
replied on November 14th, 2005
New User
I do not care what anyone in here says. It is going to be worse for you being a virgin and getting that thing stuck in you. It is cold and it hurts, and when it opens it has this clicking noise. They pull up a chair and sit right in front of your crotch and stare at you. They take this huge qtip and stick it inside you and scarpe the side of your vagina, it is the worse uncomfortable feeling ever. You will get through it, whatever you do do not tense up because it tighten your vagina muscles and it will hurt worse, believe me. I am sorry if this scares you but I am not gonna sugar coat anything. It is not pleasant. That is all there is to it.
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totallyafraid
replied on November 14th, 2005
New User
Thanks So Much!
You guys are awesome! Thanks for replying. My friend has pretty much told me everything they are going to do, but i'm sure I will ask her a million times before I get there. If the exam hurts too bad, they say they will stop. My friend says it will probably just be really uncomfortable. I have to go in and talk to the Dr. In his office first, and she is going to go in with me to make sure I don't get nervous and leave anything out. She even sat at my desk and wrote out all the problems just so we wouldn't forget anything. I can handle the pain- it's the embarassment factor that just freaks me out and the fear of the unknown. And I keep thinking what if there's nothing really wrong, but my friend says she can guarantee that something is wrong because my problems are severe an abnormal. I just have to trust her, she is smarter than me. And you all are right, she is an awesome friend. She's the only one I tell this kind of stuff to.
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totallyafraid
replied on November 17th, 2005
New User
My Dream
Just thought i'd share my dream with you all. Well, you know how i've been freakin' out about going to the gynecologist and all. Last night I dreamed that I was at the office getting ready to have the exam, and he pulled out a speculum that was like 9 feet long and 9 feet wide. I was like, "you can't use that." he said, "don't worry you'll get used to it." I woke up screaming at the top of my lungs, but then I had to laugh about it. My friend got a kick out of it when I told her about it today at work. Oh my gosh 14 days (almost 13) until my exam. That's two weeks. I have been thinking non-stop about it. I have asked my friend a zillion questions. She is so patient, she just lets me freak out and tries to calm me down. She told me she'll go in the room while I have the exam, and she promised not to look lol! I told her she doesn't have to go in for the exam, just the part when I have to talk to the doctor in his office.......Basically just so I don't leave anything out. If I take a valium before I go, I may not even know what's going on. Lol but I guess that would be okay!
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solar001
replied on November 27th, 2005
Experienced User
Don't Be Scared
If it's a pap you're going for, don't be scared. I had my first one a week ago. I was terrified, I only did it so that my Dr. Could prescribe me with birth control. Honestly, the pap was so quick that I hardly noticed it, he kept my mind busy by talking and acting as though we were just sitting down having a glass of wine (i know it's funny, but that's how casual and "not a big deal" it was).
I hate the doctor's office, and it was weird, but overall very quick and painless. I haven't had sex (but i'm not sure if i'm physically a virgin anymore), and I had no problem with the size of tools or anything. I wasn't even aware of what he was doing, I still don't even really know what he did. I think he just inserted a tool to keep the vagina open while he used a scarry-looking, but painless swab to get a sample of my cervix. After that, he had to stick his finger inside to feel for cysts (this was very strange and I wasn't ready for it, but he was very gently and it didn't really hurt). The whole time we just talked about a birth control that I was considering (he will probably just talk to you about your symptoms), so it was very much not a big deal, which made it soooo much easier.
The only initially wierd thing is the breast exam, which I wasn't ready for, but he (yes, I go to a man) wasn't even looking at them while he was examining. And there's always a woman in the room with you.
Remember, you're going to a Dr., not a playboy photographer. Basically, your vagina and breasts will be the 1 millionth vagina and 2 millionth breast that he's seen :wink:
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totallyafraid
replied on November 28th, 2005
New User
Thanks!
Well, my appointment is wednesday. Thanks for your reply, that makes me feel a little better. I just hope I don't do anything stupid during the exam. I worry about the dumbest things. My doctor is going to be a man too- he's my friend's doctor, and she's going with me, so that makes me feel a little better. She says after the exam we will go out and celebrate. We are both taking off work that day. I know i'll feel better after it's over and I know what's wrong with me, but it really makes me nervous. My stomach has been all upset, and I just got over being sick and having to take a round of steroids to clear up my breathing- I just hope nothing happens! Lol I was on edge all day at work (and I will be until it's over), and I told my assistant (the friend who is going with me) that I should just cancel the appointment, and she was like, "no, you're going, even if I have to come drag you." so I guess i'm stuck going. She keeps telling me it will be fast. She says it will be weird and uncomfortable but it shouldn't hurt. She was like, "you tell him if it hurts, he needs to know." maybe since you didn't have any trouble I won't either. I'm more worried about the pelvic exam than anything else, and what if I don't get the gown on right? Lol (yes I know it's open in the front). I'm still freakin' out, but i'm going, I guess that's what counts! My poor friend has to deal with me freakin' out about it all day at work tomorrow, and then she has to listen to me in the car on the way over there.......But at least we'll have fun afterwards!
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nightangel73
replied on November 29th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Hey girl!


I was virgin when I went the first time to the gyn at age 28 (i did pulled it off longer than you ;)). Well there is a very low chance you have cervical problems given you are a virgin. The doctor must know you are virgin. I told so to mine and he used a different speculum. It was uncomfortable but not painful. Don't worry about pain but if you do tense up a lot which is probably what will happen to you that will make things 10x worse. My doctor was a man that first time. After that exam I have gone to female gyn and I feel much more comfortable/less nervous with a woman. I still get a little nervous and I will always be nervous but this is a normal feeling for this type of examination. You got to put with it. It is not big deal but it will make your heart beat fast everytime you go.
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solar001
replied on November 29th, 2005
Experienced User
Yeah, your friend was right, it's weird, but it's quick. I've heard that a diff. Between a man and a woman gyno is that women kind of know how much pain you can take (not a good thing) lol. I know my gyno was very gentle and very nice, in a genuine way.
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nightangel73
replied on November 29th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
solar001 wrote:
i've heard that a diff. Between a man and a woman gyno is that women kind of know how much pain you can take (not a good thing) lol.



why is that not a good thing?? The thruth is that whether a doctor is gentle or not it is not defined by the gender of the physician. There is rude male gyns same as there is rude female gyns. My female gyn is very gentle and very kind so i'm glad I made a good selection.
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solar001
replied on November 29th, 2005
Experienced User
I didn't state it as a fact, first of all. I specifically stated "i've heard..." there is no reason for you to get offended, it's not like i'm parading around saying "female gyno's are rough, don't go to one."
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poohbear101
replied on November 29th, 2005
Experienced User
I think every one is nervous about their first appointment, but honestly it's nothing. And its over in just a couple minutes. It's not painful, and the only uncomfortable thing about it is having someone "down there" when you really don't want them to be lol. But if you tell your doc you're a virgin then he'll know to be gentle and to make sure you totally understand everything that he's going to do. It'll be over before you know it and next time when you have to go for one it won't seem as big of a deal.
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solar001
replied on November 30th, 2005
Experienced User
I agree.
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nightangel73
replied on November 30th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
solar001 wrote:
i didn't state it as a fact, first of all. I specifically stated "i've heard..." there is no reason for you to get offended, it's not like i'm parading around saying "female gyno's are rough, don't go to one."



oh no I did not got offended, just wanted to clarify. You are straight :d
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