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What Should I Do? Leave Him?

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Jessica_CF20

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005
Posts: 207
Location: NM
What Should I Do? Leave Him?
Posted: 11-12-05 13:30pm

Hello this really has nothing to do with this forum but I can not get an answer anywhere else ok I have cf



cystic fibrosis is a relatively rare, inherited disease that affects the lungs and digestive system. The disease is chronic, progressive and ultimately fatal. It is estimated that there are about 30,000 people in the united states who are affected with cf and between 2,500 and 3,000 babies who are born with it each year. Cf can occur in all races, but it is most common in caucasians who have northern european heredity. Cf is hereditary. Children contract it as the result of both parents passing on an abnormal gene. The parents/carriers are not affected themselves by the abnormal gene
a defective gene causes the body to produce abnormally thick, sticky mucus that clogs the lungs and leads to life-threatening lung infections. These thick secretions also obstruct the pancreas, preventing digestive enzymes from reaching the intestines to help break down and absorb food.
The mucus also can block the bile duct in the liver, eventually causing permanent liver damage in approximately six percent of people with cf. People with cf have a variety of symptoms including: very salty-tasting skin; persistent coughing, at times with phlegm; wheezing or shortness of breath; adults, however, may experience additional health challenges including cf-related diabetes and osteoporosis. Cf also can cause reproductive problems—more than 95 percent of men with cf are sterile. But, with new technologies, some are becoming fathers. The stick mucus also clogs the reproductive tracts making it harder sometimes impossible to conceive although many women with cf are able to conceive do to were they are mainly effected and how healthy they are, limited lung function and other health factors may make it difficult to carry a child to term.



But I found out last night that my hubby has started smoking what should I do?
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goldstar

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005
Posts: 11

Posted: 11-13-05 19:21pm

My god I kno exactly were ur coming from lol
i was with a girl with cf until recently , and I kno all the ins and outs of cf etc...
Didnt fink id come on here and find a post like this I could relate to so much

i understand all of the complexities (if thats a word) with your lungs, and that smoking is a definate no for you healthwise....
Personaly I wud hav never dremt of starting smoking whilst I was with my girl with cf and she wud have found it realy disrespectful and disliked me for it, it would be like me rubbing it in her face
obviolsy before leaving him which is prety sever, try to get him to change, and see ur point of view.
Obviosly I or no 1 else knows how strong ur relationship is, but it is prety bad him taking up smoking whilst with you. And I wud hope hes not expecting to smoke around u. I used to go mad at ppl smoking around my gf, even tho she didnt seem that bothered.I was more bovered bout her health than she was most the time lol.
So id say try to get him to change , n dnt let him smoke around u, his own comon sense n caring shud tel him not to.If he thinks he can smoke around you, does he realy love you and care for you?
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Jessica_CF20

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005
Posts: 207
Location: NM

Posted: 11-13-05 19:32pm

goldstar wrote:
my god I kno exactly were ur coming from lol
i was with a girl with cf until recently , and I kno all the ins and outs of cf etc...

Didnt fink id come on here and find a post like this I could relate to so much

i understand all of the complexities (if thats a word) with your lungs, and that smoking is a definate no for you healthwise....

Personaly I wud hav never dremt of starting smoking whilst I was with my girl with cf and she wud have found it realy disrespectful and disliked me for it, it would be like me rubbing it in her face
obviolsy before leaving him which is prety sever, try to get him to change, and see ur point of view.

Obviosly I or no 1 else knows how strong ur relationship is, but it is prety bad him taking up smoking whilst with you. And I wud hope hes not expecting to smoke around u. I used to go mad at ppl smoking around my gf, even tho she didnt seem that bothered.I was more bovered bout her health than she was most the time lol.

So id say try to get him to change , n dnt let him smoke around u, his own comon sense n caring shud tel him not to.If he thinks he can smoke around you, does he realy love you and care for you?
thank you sooooooo much for responding we had this problem about 2 monts ago for the first time we talked about it and I cryed and well it was pretty emotional and he said if it ment that much he would stop. Now I found out he started again no he does not smoke around me but it seems that he has lost his respect for me or my health??? I really dont know what to do we talked again but no changes ....Please help
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goldstar

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005
Posts: 11

Posted: 11-14-05 18:30pm

Im glad I could help :)

i understand exactly were ur coming from

my girl wud have killed me lol, if I started smoking whilst wiv her

how long has he been smoking? Is it much of an adiction for him or does he simply choose to do it?

Im guesing uv realy strested how important this is for you? And made him understand? Does he understand much about cf with regards to smoking and the lungs? Maybe u could take him along to one of ur hospital chek ups and drop it out that he smokes and see if they say something to him?

Would u want to loose him through this though? I dnt kno how strong ur relatioship is .... Do you think hed ever try to smoke around u?
Hav u been wiv him long?

Just a few questions to ask urself I guess
ill b back on at somepoint if u want me to reply again :)
leaving him maybe a bit drastic if he could just change it would b so much better
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Jessica_CF20

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005
Posts: 207
Location: NM

Posted: 11-15-05 15:47pm

goldstar wrote:
im glad I could help :)

i understand exactly were ur coming from

my girl wud have killed me lol, if I started smoking whilst wiv her

how long has he been smoking? Is it much of an adiction for him or does he simply choose to do it?


Im guesing uv realy strested how important this is for you? And made him understand? Does he understand much about cf with regards to smoking and the lungs? Maybe u could take him along to one of ur hospital chek ups and drop it out that he smokes and see if they say something to him?


Would u want to loose him through this though? I dnt kno how strong ur relatioship is .... Do you think hed ever try to smoke around u?

Hav u been wiv him long?


Just a few questions to ask urself I guess
ill b back on at somepoint if u want me to reply again :)
leaving him maybe a bit drastic if he could just change it would b so much better

I have been with him for a year and ahalf he knows the dangers/ consequences and eveything he doesnt smoke around me he has been smoking for 2 weeks though I dont know if hes addicted or not he said it relaxes him so ............. I dont think I am at the point of wanting to leave him so maybe if we set some groung rules not around me in the vehicles or home ??????????? We will see what happens thanks so much for your responses
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goldstar

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005
Posts: 11

Posted: 11-15-05 20:00pm

Yer thats probably best, having just been fru a breakup myself - with the girl wiv cf
i would think that if you were to just leave him over this strate away its probly a bit too drastic and if u love him , living without him will have a negative afect on ur health too, as youll be hurting n depressed.
Id say its best to try to work around this like u sed make ground rules. Ull always hav the opion of leaving him later in ur life if need be.
But dnt get me wrong I think its bad him taking up smoking whilst with you. My ex looked dwn upon smoking and smokers, and was angry at ppl throwing there health away when shed never had it in the first place.
Id imagine u feel the same?
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Jessica_CF20

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005
Posts: 207
Location: NM

Posted: 11-15-05 20:11pm

Yeah it just hurts but I think the brak up would deffinantly hurt worse I have not cancled the wedding over this but maybe if I ask him to go to counceling with me do you think that would help? Again thanks for everything

jessica
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goldstar

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005
Posts: 11

Posted: 11-15-05 20:52pm

Hi sory I didnt reply to ur private mesage I only just relaised I had one cus it sent me a email

yer u might end up loosing more in the long run if u go n cancel the wedding etc

u might regret it, and believe me it hurts that feeling of leaving some1 and not knowing if uv done the right thing, and then guilt sets in.....

Perhaps some canceling would help yer, if it were me, the thing that would make the most diference would be realising how much this means to my partner, it does seem strange to me 2 b honest that he can understand about cf, and how u feel about him smoking and him kno how big a deal it is, n yet he stil does it.Surely seeing the afect it has on some1 you love is enuf to stop u from doing it, and stay stopped.
Out of intrest if u told him he had to choose between cigaretes and u, wot do u fink hed choose?
I think the worse way that this all cud go wud b for it to end ur relationship. And that shud b a last resort. I gues uv got to find a way to realy make him change. Perhaps no sex til he stops smoking? Lol, no honestly. Do u think he wud ever try to smoke around u in time?
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goldstar

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005
Posts: 11

Posted: 11-15-05 20:54pm

^^^^on the 6th line of that above I meant councelling not cancelling
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Jessica_CF20

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005
Posts: 207
Location: NM

Posted: 11-16-05 00:23am

Well I think he would choose me if I gave him that ultamatum and I tryed the no sex thing it didnt work out
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goldstar

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005
Posts: 11

Posted: 11-18-05 17:27pm

Wel whatever hapens hope it all works out for you sweety!
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