What Should I Do? Leave Him? Posted: 11-12-05 13:30pm
Hello this really has nothing to do with
this forum but I can not get an answer
anywhere else ok I have cf
cystic fibrosis is a relatively rare,
inherited disease that affects the lungs
and digestive system. The disease is
chronic, progressive and ultimately fatal.
It is estimated that there are about
30,000 people in the united states who are
affected with cf and between 2,500 and
3,000 babies who are born with it each
year. Cf can occur in all races, but it
is most common in caucasians who have
northern european heredity. Cf is
hereditary. Children contract it as the
result of both parents passing on an
abnormal gene. The parents/carriers are
not affected themselves by the abnormal
gene
a defective gene causes the body to
produce abnormally thick, sticky mucus
that clogs the lungs and leads to
life-threatening lung infections. These
thick secretions also obstruct the
pancreas, preventing digestive enzymes
from reaching the intestines to help break
down and absorb food.
The mucus also can block the bile duct in
the liver, eventually causing permanent
liver damage in approximately six percent
of people with cf. People with cf have a
variety of symptoms including: very
salty-tasting skin; persistent coughing,
at times with phlegm; wheezing or
shortness of breath; adults, however, may
experience additional health challenges
including cf-related diabetes and
osteoporosis. Cf also can cause
reproductive problems—more than 95
percent of men with cf are sterile. But,
with new technologies, some are becoming
fathers. The stick mucus also clogs the
reproductive tracts making it harder
sometimes impossible to conceive although
many women with cf are able to conceive do
to were they are mainly effected and how
healthy they are, limited lung function
and other health factors may make it
difficult to carry a child to term.
But I found out last night that my hubby
has started smoking what should I do?
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goldstar
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 11
Posted: 11-13-05 19:21pm
My god I kno exactly were ur coming from
lol
i was with a girl with cf until recently ,
and I kno all the ins and outs of cf
etc...
Didnt fink id come on here and find a post
like this I could relate to so much
i understand all of the complexities (if
thats a word) with your lungs, and that
smoking is a definate no for you
healthwise....
Personaly I wud hav never dremt of
starting smoking whilst I was with my girl
with cf and she wud have found it realy
disrespectful and disliked me for it, it
would be like me rubbing it in her face
obviolsy before leaving him which is prety
sever, try to get him to change, and see
ur point of view.
Obviosly I or no 1 else knows how strong
ur relationship is, but it is prety bad
him taking up smoking whilst with you.
And I wud hope hes not expecting to smoke
around u. I used to go mad at ppl smoking
around my gf, even tho she didnt seem that
bothered.I was more bovered bout her
health than she was most the time lol.
So id say try to get him to change , n dnt
let him smoke around u, his own comon
sense n caring shud tel him not to.If he
thinks he can smoke around you, does he
realy love you and care for you?
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Jessica_CF20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 207 Location: NM
Posted: 11-13-05 19:32pm
goldstar
wrote:
my god I kno exactly were ur
coming from lol
i was with a girl with cf until recently ,
and I kno all the ins and outs of cf
etc...
Didnt fink id come on here and find a post
like this I could relate to so much
i understand all of the complexities (if
thats a word) with your lungs, and that
smoking is a definate no for you
healthwise....
Personaly I wud hav never dremt of
starting smoking whilst I was with my girl
with cf and she wud have found it realy
disrespectful and disliked me for it, it
would be like me rubbing it in her face
obviolsy before leaving him which is prety
sever, try to get him to change, and see
ur point of view.
Obviosly I or no 1 else knows how strong
ur relationship is, but it is prety bad
him taking up smoking whilst with you.
And I wud hope hes not expecting to smoke
around u. I used to go mad at ppl
smoking around my gf, even tho she didnt
seem that bothered.I was more bovered bout
her health than she was most the time
lol.
So id say try to get him to change , n dnt
let him smoke around u, his own comon
sense n caring shud tel him not to.If he
thinks he can smoke around you, does he
realy love you and care for
you?
thank you sooooooo much
for responding we had this problem about 2
monts ago for the first time we talked
about it and I cryed and well it was
pretty emotional and he said if it ment
that much he would stop. Now I found out
he started again no he does not smoke
around me but it seems that he has lost
his respect for me or my health??? I
really dont know what to do we talked
again but no changes ....Please help
|
goldstar
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 11
Posted: 11-14-05 18:30pm
Im glad I could help :)
i understand exactly were ur coming from
my girl wud have killed me lol, if I
started smoking whilst wiv her
how long has he been smoking? Is it much
of an adiction for him or does he simply
choose to do it?
Im guesing uv realy strested how important
this is for you? And made him understand?
Does he understand much about cf with
regards to smoking and the lungs? Maybe u
could take him along to one of ur hospital
chek ups and drop it out that he smokes
and see if they say something to him?
Would u want to loose him through this
though? I dnt kno how strong ur
relatioship is .... Do you think hed ever
try to smoke around u?
Hav u been wiv him long?
Just a few questions to ask urself I
guess
ill b back on at somepoint if u want me to
reply again :)
leaving him maybe a bit drastic if he
could just change it would b so much
better
|
Jessica_CF20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 207 Location: NM
Posted: 11-15-05 15:47pm
goldstar
wrote:
im glad I could help :)
i understand exactly were ur coming from
my girl wud have killed me lol, if I
started smoking whilst wiv her
how long has he been smoking? Is it much
of an adiction for him or does he simply
choose to do it?
Im guesing uv realy strested how important
this is for you? And made him
understand? Does he understand much
about cf with regards to smoking and the
lungs? Maybe u could take him along to
one of ur hospital chek ups and drop it
out that he smokes and see if they say
something to him?
Would u want to loose him through this
though? I dnt kno how strong ur
relatioship is .... Do you think hed
ever try to smoke around u?
Hav u been wiv him long?
Just a few questions to ask urself I
guess
ill b back on at somepoint if u want me to
reply again :)
leaving him maybe a bit drastic if he
could just change it would b so much
better
I have been with him for a year and ahalf
he knows the dangers/ consequences and
eveything he doesnt smoke around me he has
been smoking for 2 weeks though I dont
know if hes addicted or not he said it
relaxes him so ............. I dont think
I am at the point of wanting to leave him
so maybe if we set some groung rules not
around me in the vehicles or home
??????????? We will see what happens
thanks so much for your responses
|
goldstar
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 11
Posted: 11-15-05 20:00pm
Yer thats probably best, having just been
fru a breakup myself - with the girl wiv
cf
i would think that if you were to just
leave him over this strate away its probly
a bit too drastic and if u love him ,
living without him will have a negative
afect on ur health too, as youll be
hurting n depressed.
Id say its best to try to work around this
like u sed make ground rules. Ull always
hav the opion of leaving him later in ur
life if need be.
But dnt get me wrong I think its bad him
taking up smoking whilst with you. My ex
looked dwn upon smoking and smokers, and
was angry at ppl throwing there health
away when shed never had it in the first
place.
Id imagine u feel the same?
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Jessica_CF20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 207 Location: NM
Posted: 11-15-05 20:11pm
Yeah it just hurts but I think the brak up
would deffinantly hurt worse I have not
cancled the wedding over this but maybe if
I ask him to go to counceling with me do
you think that would help? Again thanks
for everything
jessica
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goldstar
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 11
Posted: 11-15-05 20:52pm
Hi sory I didnt reply to ur private mesage
I only just relaised I had one cus it sent
me a email
yer u might end up loosing more in the
long run if u go n cancel the wedding etc
u might regret it, and believe me it hurts
that feeling of leaving some1 and not
knowing if uv done the right thing, and
then guilt sets in.....
Perhaps some canceling would help yer, if
it were me, the thing that would make the
most diference would be realising how much
this means to my partner, it does seem
strange to me 2 b honest that he can
understand about cf, and how u feel about
him smoking and him kno how big a deal it
is, n yet he stil does it.Surely seeing
the afect it has on some1 you love is enuf
to stop u from doing it, and stay
stopped.
Out of intrest if u told him he had to
choose between cigaretes and u, wot do u
fink hed choose?
I think the worse way that this all cud go
wud b for it to end ur relationship. And
that shud b a last resort. I gues uv got
to find a way to realy make him change.
Perhaps no sex til he stops smoking? Lol,
no honestly. Do u think he wud ever try
to smoke around u in time?
|
goldstar
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 11
Posted: 11-15-05 20:54pm
^^^^on the 6th line of that above I meant
councelling not cancelling
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Jessica_CF20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 207 Location: NM
Posted: 11-16-05 00:23am
Well I think he would choose me if I gave
him that ultamatum and I tryed the no sex
thing it didnt work out
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goldstar
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 11
Posted: 11-18-05 17:27pm
Wel whatever hapens hope it all works out
for you sweety!
