Thought this was worth posting, please read and maybe try and give feedback.
sex is a wonderful thing - I haven't met a person yet who would dispute this. Everybody loves sex, whether they like talking about it openly or not. One of the reasons you're reading this is because you enjoy sex and you would like to enjoy it more and have your partner enjoy it more. For all you males reading this, wouldn't you like to be known around town as the greatest !**@! of all time? Or husbands and men in steady relationship - wouldn't you like your woman to be amazed at your new found sexual knowledge and have her beg you for more sex? Sex can be the greatest pleasure a person can ever experience - or a major disappointment.
Surveys have shown that 75% of women fake orgasm every time, 15% faked it most of the time and about 9.5% said they occasionally faked it. Which leaves about 0.5% who said they never faked it. I know most of you men out there will find this hard to believe, but it's true. I'm a woman, I know.
Women, by faking orgasms, are missing out on one of the most pleasurable experiences imagineable - but so are their partners. You will realize the difference once you have read this playgal exclusive article. Both the male and females sexual pleasure increases to unbelievable new heights once you know how to bring a woman to an orgasm every time. Your woman will want you as never before - she will never want or need another man. And girls, if you want to have better sex, then teach your man what I am about to tell you.
Most men I have met were anxious to learn how to satisfy women during sex. Each man I interviewed I asked 'what do you think makes a woman orgasm most during intercourse?' most responses were along the lines of:
'just putting my penis inside her gets her excited' - it may get your partner excited but it is not enough - no where near enough.
'she just loves me ramming her hard' - this is so far from the truth it is ridiculous!
'!**@! her fast' - wrong!
It is generally easy for men to become sexually aroused because his sexual organs are on the outside of the body and are easily stimulated. Men that are unfit mentally or physically can sometimes take longer to arouse, as do men that are bored with their partners. Do you know the main reason men get bored with their partners sexually? Could it be that the woman herself is bored because she is not getting sexual pleasure and therefore doesn't seem interested in sex as much. Sex would get boring if the pleasure is all one sided, don't you think guys? Imagine having sex every few days and never reaching an orgasm. Doesn't sound like much fun does it?
Some men can get a woman worked into a sexual frenzy during foreplay, but then when it comes to intercourse .. The momentum doesn't continue and in most cases, both the man and woman don't know what is wrong. Then the woman finally pretends to have an orgasm because she wants the whole event to be over to end the boredom and/or pain.
If a man doesn't know how to handle intercourse properly the woman will become bored and unsatisfied in the relationship, and look for other options. Most women will tell their men everything is great - just to keep them feeling like a man. The men usually are unsuspecting that there is a problem.
But guys, it's not your fault - you're a man; how could you possibly know what it feels like? Only a woman really knows how to satisfy a woman. Only a woman knows the physical sensations of a woman's body. Most women don't like talking about it with their partners because it may make them feel less manly.
Most literature is written about rough, ramming and hard sex, so why would anyone think sex should be different - most women think this is the way to have sex too. But i'm going to help you and your partner enjoy sex to its maximum over the next few editions of playgal.
Tease your partner first
women like affection. They like to have their bodies gently caressed. Imagine yourself lying totally naked and 100% relaxed with hands slowly and gently touching your body. Try running your fingertips gently, so gentle you are barely touching your body along the inside of your own arm down to your hand. It tickles a bit but it feels nice, even if it feels like you need to scratch it a little.
When making love with your partner you need to give their body a desire. Gently run your fingertips all over her body barely touching the skin. Do this for 3-4 minutes without touching the breasts or clitoris then slowly work your way up to her breasts but dont touch her nipples. Circle her breasts with the palms of your hands and fingertips. You can occasionally kiss gently around her breasts but don't touch her nipples yet - touch below and above them but not on them.
This will start to drive her crazy - you have created a desire for you to touch her nipples. You are not giving her something she wants. After a few minutes of teasing her very very softly touch her nipples. Then continue to circle the nipples gently with your fingers then gently lick once or twice next to each nipple but not on it.
You are in total control - she is being driven insane by now. You have created an excitement and desire within her sexual being. Now when you feel she is ready - she will let you know it is time to move on to the next step .. The beginning of intercourse, in part 2, next month.
Note to part 1:
it is important not to weaken and begin to grope and paw at her breasts and body and do not touch her clitoris in this teasing phase - it will only turn her off. The purpose is to create a want. Don't weaken - stay in control, this is only the warm-up for great love making.
ready for action!
Now, you're both ready to go .. You're hard and ready, and she's giving you that look that says she wants it. You just want to plunge straight in - and she's cheering you on.
Don't do it!
You haven't gone to all this effort to blow it all now, pardon the pun. Now - you've got to really start torturing her..
Touch your penis to the lips of her clitoris .. Gently. Softly rub your penis over her clit, letting her know it's there, ready to enter .. If you want it to. You are now completely in charge, and in total control of the situation. You're going to tease her until she screams for you to put it in!
Now, she's asking you to put it in .. But you don't. Keep teasing. She asks more urgently .. You still don't. You are in control, and she's loving it - not knowing when you're going to enter! Keep teasing, gently rubbing, even if she does scream for you to put it in.
Only when she begins building towards orgasm to you move it further in .. Just half an inch or so, very slowly, in and out. After a little while (staying in control!) move it slowly in a full inch .. Gradually, keep increasing the amount you put it in, until it's almost the whole length.
Remember, if you enter the entire length - ram it in - you will make contact with her clit, and this we don't want; the object is to tease her, make her want you to thrust all the way. The longer you tease her, and yourself, the more intense your orgasms will be.
The point of surrender
now, she's quivering with desire. Speed up a little - not to ramming speed though - and it'll push her over the edge. She may scream, she may call at your name (hopefully!) or she may just whimper softly - but you'll know you've given her an orgasm. But keep going! Keep moving in and out, faster now; she'll orgasm again - more quickly now, with no need for teasing. You can sped up even more if you wish (and can) - but don't resort to 'ramming' her hard.
She may have several more orgasms .. Or only one more. Two to five is the norm, and this may be the first one she's had in a long time! If you've been able to keep going past the first one, that's great .. But even if you cum now, it will be one of the deepest and most incredible orgasms you yourself have ever had.
Refine your technique; try to make yourself hold off longer and longer. It will enrich the sexual experience for both you and your partner.
Note to part 2:
if you're both adventurous - and really willing to torture each other, wait until the point of orgasm and stop - dead. Withdraw, and lie down beside her.. Then resume again later that or the next day. The anticipation will peak, until the next time you'll both be ready with hardly any teasing!
Most of us, when it comes to sex, have a good imagination. We might fantasise about the woman who works in the office next door, someone who eats lunch at the same place we do, or even imagine ourselves playing out different roles that we usually perform.
So - why not harness this natural power of fantasization for sex? If you're more excited and aroused, your partner will know it and go further herself. And, as long as she doesn't know what you're thinking, you can imagine anything.
There are those, both men and women, who like to imagine themselves dominating their partner, or being submissive. This is perfectly harmless as long as it goes no further than the mind - or, if it does go further, with a partner who is attracted to the idea and wants to play out the other role.
And don't let appearances fool you .. A sedate appearing person may have some very kinky thoughts bubbling undetr the surface; in fact, if a person is more self-repressed, it's more likely they'll be making up for it in their minds.
.. Vs. Reality
you, and your partner, both probably have many secret little fantasies that you've always wanted to try. Although dressing up as king tutankahmen and having your lover wait on you hand and foot may not be something you can confide in with someone you've just met, you can imagine yourself in that position .. And, when you reach a stage with someone where you feel you can trust each other, let her know about this litle fantasy .. And encourage her to tell you her own.
If you do become open to each other's fantasies, it's important that you don't let them take over .. Or you may find yourself resorting to kinkier and kinkier role-playing, until one day, you stop yourself and say 'whoah! This is getting scary .. I'm getting out!'
it's important to realise that although fantasies - and role playing - are a great adjunct to 'normal' sexual encounters, they can't replace them .. And, the more you indulge in fantasies to spice up your sex life, the more you will come to rely on them.
Strike a balance - use the anticipation of an upcoming role-playing 'session' to fuel your desire; and maybe even run the fantasy through your mind until you can both no longer resist. In this way, you can get the most 'mileage' out of your imaginations.
healthy body - great sex!
One of the biggest factors affecting the enjoyment of sex is the health of the body. Smoking cigarettes constricts the capillaries and blood vessels in the body, which restricts blood flow to the genitals and thus decreases sexual enjoyment; alcohol and other caffeine sources destroy vital vitamin b elemnts within the body, making us more lethargic.
This lethargy and lack of physical vitality not only communicates itself to our partner during sex, but also comes across when we're on the look-out for a partner; it's ironic that the two most consumed items in a bar or night-club environment - alcohol and cigarettes - are the two greatest killers of good sex! Vitamin b, which is burnt up by the metabolising of alcohol, also makes us more relaxed - so while the alcohol is loosening us up on the one hand, it's destroying our vitamin b levels. So when the alcohol has been metabolised from our bodies, we are very low on vitamin b - and thus the hangover.
Our bodies function best when they contain optimum levels of amino acids, nutrients and other chemicals required for the chemical lab we call a body. Unfortunately, modern lifestyles generally do not allow for the proper intake of such chemicals; and so, the moajority of the population is functioning improperly.
So, you can stand out from the crowd by simply being healthier; you'll project an aura of energy and vitality that will make you feel great - and if you feel great, other people feel great about you.
more and more vitamins and other nutrients, and how they power our body, are being discovered every year. But the basics are:
vitamin a: essential for good skin; gets rid of those pimples and other skin impurities. It improves you hair condition, and helps your vision, both night and day.
Vitamin b: actually a broad spectrum of vitamins, including b1, b2, b6, b12, folic acid, niacin, inositol and pantothenic acid, among others. They are what's called synergistic, meaning that if you take too much of one type, it can make you deficient in the others; so you should take a b complex supplement every day (because b groups are water soluble, they must be replenished every day)
vitamin c: or ascorbic acid, assists the immune system. It should be taken with a lot of liquid. If you keep your doses high in this (say, 10,000 mgs a day) you're likely to reduce your risk of catching colds and flus.
Vitamin d: also gotten from exposure to the sun, it helps the body to absorb and retain calcium. Vitamin d in itself needs fat or oils to be absorbed, so take it after a meal that includes some.
Vitamin e: assists in the transport and efficient use of oxygen; more oxygen gets to your cells, particularly your brain. It's also called the 'sex vitamin' because it assists in the production of sex hormones. These are the basic vitamins; however, one indespensible way to a healthy body has to be at least a minimum amount of exercise. Even if you work out lightly for half an hour every day or two, your body will function more efficiently, the blood circulate better, and your whole body function better with less stress.P and of course, let's not forget the best form of exercise - sex!
I think you've got no idea what you're talking about Dudly!
Although padded at least Tony offered something remotely intelligent to say on the subject...
Here's what I think:
making a woman orgasm through penetration is primarily about two things:
1.) Her Psychology
2.) Her Physiology
If this has started to sound like a science lesson don't worry, i'll simplify everything into language we men really understand:
Psychology - this put simply means that you put a woman in the mood for sex. Sometimes this means acting like a caveman, she gives you that look, you've just had that argument, you're out and about in a public place and she kisses you a little more passionately than usual.
The simple fact is that understanding this aspect of making a woman orgasm is a matter of guessing correctly which mood she is in or actively putting her in the right mood, this may variously be a strong manly grab around the waist or handing her a glass of wine after a hard day at work, setting up candles and running her a bath etc. etc.
Now most of the confusion on this subject comes from the very unhelpful fact that overwhelmingly the advice given on the internet focuses on these 'psychological' elements because for women, they are the more important.
Now as a man what you need to know is this and i'll get the boo/hisses from any girl reading BUT, as a man you need to focus on her physiology in order to make her orgasm through penetration. It's simply a fact that 70% of what will make her orgasm in penetration is simply remembering this:
Always Be thinking 'Clitoris'... ABC...
What this means is that you need to forget what you watch on porn, forget those Tom Cruise movies where the man always raises himself up on the strength of his arms in a romantic, intimate eye lock and over exaggerated pelvic movement... No... When you're performing in any sexual position you need to be stimulating the clitoris, this means always guys!
There are two ways and two ways only to make a woman orgasm - through her clitoris and through her G-Spot - the Clitoris is by far and away the easiest. This means, when you are:
1.) In Missionary - always have your pelvis griding as close as physically possible to her pubic bone, directly on top of it, causing as much friction against the area of the clitoris as possible. If you want to go for the G-Spot, put a pillow or sometimes even two under her buttocks, this both raises her public bone up so that you can grind more closely against it and also by lowering your waist towards the bed and thrusting 'up' against her front wall, you'll be maximising the pressure on her G-Spot area;
2.) Her on Top - ABC - always be thinking clitoris. If she's sitting on top of you, use your hand on her hips to pull her down on your shaft so that the bottom of your shaft will be connecting directly with the clitoris. Equally, if she leans over to kiss you, use your hand on her hips to grind her pelvis forward and backwards so that it is grinding directly on the clitoral area.
Those are two basic tips but the essence of how to make a woman orgasm through penetration resides in the ABC rule.
Now I want to jump back a stage, once you've firmly got it into your head to ABC, remember this as well, foreplay is the part of sex where you have most control over her body. It's where you can tease her, stimulate her, frustrate her, annoy her to your hearts content.
A good penetrative orgasm will start to build with your mastery of foreplay. Take your time, undress her, kiss her whole body (but for example don't go near her vagina), take your time to explore her and stimulate all of her erogenous zones (which you should know, if you don't start reading up on them!) you will notice that eventually she'll start pulling you up because she wants you inside her.
When she is at this stage and you enter her, then ABC kicks in. It's close, it's animalistic, it's grinding and sweaty, it's not the Tom Cruise tricep marathon, it's a matter of pressing your lower half as strongly against her lower half as you can and taking long measured strokes...
Do this, spend some time with the foreplay, then ABC all the way through intercourse and you should be making that woman orgasm each and every time through penetration...
If you need more advice some good places to look are:
amazon.com - lots of books on the subject; or the best guide i've found on the subject at therealplayers.com - (a lame spiel but a very good short lunchtime read packed full of information that you can put into practice straight away the same night...)
Learn about a woman's body first and let the psychology take care of itself...
most men do not realise the benefits of a healthy lifestyle....... they think alcohol n cigarettes help in arousal..........which is not the case
i think the information shared above is quite genuine.......
Your right Denise it's very genuine. It all ties in with experience. But...we need to keep in mind their is more than just the act of sex which get's a woman excited. We also need to learn to help them relax and feel more comfortable.
Once they clear their mind it allows them to focus more on the act and the experiences they are enjoying.
Women in general are task oriented and need to clear their mind first.
I like that you just described fairly normal sex causing women to orgasm 2 to 5 times. This is bull. For one every woman is different so this is impossible to say for sure. Some love sex that is slow and sensual, some love harder fast sex and others love rough sex. You can't write a 'how to get all woman off' article and merely saying you can destroys what credibility you may have had on the subject.
Every woman is different psychologically and they each have different sensitivities but I think you can learn techniques that increase the chances of making a woman orgasm I just wish people would stop posting BS on the subject!
If anyone out there actually wants useful information on the subject then you could do worse than getting the Guide these people publish (though the name of the site and the guide is lame) I actually found the content of it pretty useful it's message cuts out all the rubbish about romance/poetry etc. THAT DOESN'T MAKE A WOMAN ORGASM! That's simply teaching you how to be a good boyfriend! All men really want to know on this subject is a.) where the Clit and G-Spot are located b.) how to find them if you don't know and c.) how we can stimulate those places effectively... no more no less... Stop all the rubbish about being 'sensitive' and kind etc. it's like teaching a woman how to give a good BJ by telling her to buy her fella a six pack of beer!
really great article. I'm really happy that women are becoming more and more involved in the sexual pleasure process and not just being looked upon like baby makers like it the past. i also blog on relationship, dating and love making tips.
Take this advice from a woman who faked it with 7 different guys for 6 years... And my last relationship for 9years & never had an orgasm until I met someone else. What is sad, is that I led him to believe he gave me multiple orgasms... That he was the "only guy that made me cum" and was the best lover of all time. But it was my own fault. BECAUSE I FAKED IT. So there was no need for him to try harder, do research, try new things etc. I was simply an excellent actress who could even tighten my muscles, get very wet, get the shakes, weak & get flushed afterwards.
But here is the best advice in the whole world... I orgasmed because this new guy asked me what felt good, told me to guide his fingers, what was my favorite position, he was more interested in foreplay then sex & he read my body language. Now I'm always begging him for sex, I NEVER have to fake it & I am the happiest most satisfied woman of all time!
The thing is, EVERY woman is different - so there is no trick, no exact place of a gspot & I personally don't like my clit touched or "banged" because it's so sensitive. She may have bladder issues & dosent like it from the inside... You never know! So just ASK HER! Ask her to show you, or even better... see if she'll let you watch her masterbate, not only will you SEE and HEAR what her REAL orgasms are like... But you might learn something as well!
Heh... The comments where more right then the actual post... Must suck... Personally I'm a romantic type of guy that enjoys pleasing a girl... I beleive foreplay works like a charm but I'm not one to over step my bounds... When it comes to actual intercourse it's vital to know the woman your in bed or car or what ever couples have sex in... Me?.. Well my girl friend pretty much likes any environment... From showers to the bedroom, from the living room to her moms back yard on the patio... Heh.. That might be the public fetish on her but who knows?
I do know what every girl loves... No matter what they say or what they tell you...
A woman loves a gentlemen... A man that's willing to fight there battles for them, tell there evil mom off for them cus they can't get the guys up. A man that will be sure
To protect her and teach her how to protect herself... Of course I'm saying this out of experience of girls that I've known and dated... Sum it all in one number... 19... Most where friends with benefits... And I'm sure any man who looks at this will either be impressed or be a dick and say they have done more which I don't really care... And any women who reads this will probly think I'm disgusting...and it might seem like that but. Every girl I have ever had sex with is still my friend... Though we do not have any after night activities that have to do with being nude unless my girl is cool with.. Which is rarely.
But yeah every girl enjoys chivalry.. And that's all you need to start your sexual life.. Ask the girl.. Be nice.. Show respect and do the same for boundaries...