Medical Questions > Pregnancy Forum > Getting Pregnant Forum

How to Relax While Trying to Conceive (Page 1)

Must Read
If you're experiencing difficult conceiving, you are not alone. Learn how doctors define infertility and how infertility affects both men and women here....
Many things cause fertility problems. Learn common causes of infertility for men and women here, plus info on factors that affect the ability to conceive....
Sometimes fertility do not manifest any symptoms. Other times there are definite signs. Learn to identify possible problems and know when to ask for help....
Hi, I am 34 and I have been trying to get pregnant for 4 months. I know it is not long but I wake up in the middle of the night worrying about it. I know it is counter productive. Can anybody share their experiences on how long it took to get pregnant and how to enjoy this time and not be obsessed about it?
Did you find this post helpful?
First Helper baby_limbo
|

replied November 5th, 2005
Experienced User
It's so hard to relax when you're trying to conceive!!!!

If you are under 35 the general rule of thumb is that you try for a year before seeking help from a doctor. If you are over 35, that changes to six months.


Are you using any form of ovulation prediction? Sometimes relying on one of those products helps take some stress off of knowing which days you are more likely to conceive.

As for waking up in the middle of the night, try reading a book before you go to bed. I found that helped relax my brain and so I wasn't going to bed thinking about getting pregnant, but rather I was just tired/bored of reading and fell right to sleep. Getting pregnant wasn't the final thought in my head.


I'm sorry I don't have more advice than that :(

nancy
edit
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 5th, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
My best advice would be to concentrate more on your own pleasure during sex than if you will become pregnant from it. Concentrating on your own pleasure really is a great thing even when you aren't trying to get pregnant. It can help you learn what and when your body responds to certain caresses and kisses and it can help you communicate to your partner what you like the most and what you like the least. Also, orgasms, aside from being fantastic all on their own, can help you conceive faster because the contractions thrust the cervix into the seminal pool and deliver more sperm into the uterus.

Before going to bed, some meditation with soft music not only relaxes me, personally, but it also helps me empty my mind of anything that could cause me to have to wake up. Doing an activity that relaxes both mind and body before going to bed is best for uninterrupted sleep.

Best of luck!
Peace,
jenn
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied November 8th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
I am trying again to get pregnant after a loss and have been technically trying again for about a month or so. I understand the anxiety. I am so anxios to get pregnant again because I feel cheated from the last time. One thing that helps me a little is journaling.

Although I find that when I journal I tend to sensor what I write incase... I dont know I die in some freak accident and all that is left is my journal and people who read it might think I am nuts! My solution to that problem is on Oprah.Com you can journal on this site and no one can ever read it unless they have your password.

Good luck to you!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 8th, 2005
Experienced User
I hear ya girls, I am starting to get little crazy myself. It seems to be affecting my whole life..........I am out of controll with this ttc stuff.....I know it, I just dont know what to do. I feel cheated also, I also feel why me? Why my baby? Do I have bad luck? I have gone crazy I am sure of it.....

Love, tammy
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied November 8th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
"the crazy ones are always the last to know they are crazy"- anonymous
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 8th, 2005
Experienced User
You are so funny, I have found that out too!!!! :lol:


love, tammy
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 15th, 2005
Experienced User
Hey bee71 I know how you feel ive been trying to conceive for 20 months now at first the day before my period was due i'd take a pregnancy test for about 7 months and each time it came up negative id be depressed for a week its a horrible feeling then I got to the stage where I just wanted to give up so for a few months we decided not to be all ready to go when I was ovulating we just relaxed for a few months then bang out of the blue was pregnant mind you I only found out once i'd started to miscarry:(cry but eventually I kept my head up and we just got the idea that it will happen when its meant to, then we got the news that my partner has a little problem of his own I cant think of what its called but lets just say not many little fellas come out when he cums so chances are slim. But we're young and will keep trying naturally untill I explode then we'll go to ivf. But I understand where your coming from its very frustrating but eventually you'll learn not to stress too much over it. If you wana chat pm me. Take care and good luck to all of you
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied November 15th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
jesticle wrote:
hey bee71 I know how you feel ive been trying to conceive for 20 months now at first the day before my period was due i'd take a pregnancy test for about 7 months and each time it came up negative id be depressed for a week its a horrible feeling then I got to the stage where I just wanted to give up so for a few months we decided not to be all ready to go when I was ovulating we just relaxed for a few months then bang out of the blue was pregnant mind you I only found out once i'd started to miscarry:(cry but eventually I kept my head up and we just got the idea that it will happen when its meant to, then we got the news that my partner has a little problem of his own I cant think of what its called but lets just say not many little fellas come out when he cums so chances are slim. But we're young and will keep trying naturally untill I explode then we'll go to ivf. But I understand where your coming from its very frustrating but eventually you'll learn not to stress too much over it. If you wana chat pm me. Take care and good luck to all of you


have you talked to your doctor as to why you havent conceived yet? 20 months is a long time ttc, as I am sure you know.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 15th, 2005
Experienced User
I agree with lily! You really should go get a check up from your ob/gyn. There could be a simple explanation for why it's taking this long....And they can probably correct it for you!!!!



Nancy
edit
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 18th, 2005
Experienced User
My gyno thinks I have endometriosis im on the list for a laproscopy that would be the reason plus my partners problem as well so they are the two reasons. I had my self checked out by a gyno after 16 months
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied November 18th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
jesticle wrote:
my gyno thinks I have endometriosis im on the list for a laproscopy that would be the reason plus my partners problem as well so they are the two reasons. I had my self checked out by a gyno after 16 months


:( aww I am sorry that this is so hard for you. I really hope you get pregnant soon sweetie. *****baby dust coming your way*************************************** ****************************************** ****************************************** ****************************************** ****************************************** *******************************
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied April 10th, 2010
anxiety while trying to conceive
I''m once again trying, and I can relate to the anxiety about it. This time it''s been 5 months. Last time, it took about 4. One thing that helped me the first time was prayer. I don''t know if you believe in a Higher Power or not, but if you do, acknowledging that you''re not in control and someone else is can really help. I''m trying to do that this time too-- just turn it over and remind myself that I''m not the one in control, and that it will happen when it''s supposed to happen, and that will be the perfect time.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied May 25th, 2010
trying trying trying... stressing stressing stressing.
I've been trying for under a year, and it's been really hard. A lot of stressful things have happened since we started trying. And I guess the stress of not being pregnant only makes me feel worse about everything. We are a young couple, I'm 21 and he's 23. And it just seems silly that we haven't become pregnant yet. It really just breaks my heart. Sad I need some ideas on how to relax a little more and get it off of my mind... that way I can enjoy the baby making process and let it happen on its own.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied July 31st, 2010
Re: How to Relax While Trying to Conceive
Bee71 wrote:
Hi, I am 34 and I have been trying to get pregnant for 4 months. I know it is not long but I wake up in the middle of the night worrying about it. I know it is counter productive. Can anybody share their experiences on how long it took to get pregnant and how to enjoy this time and not be obsessed about it?


Hi there, your not the only 1 having problems in getting pregnant, me n my husband have bin trying for 3years now not had no luck, iv tried everything fertilty supplements, healthy diet exercise nothing seems to work, i also keep track on my ovulation dates stil not having no luck.

i really badly want to have a baby, if anyone has had luck plz reply
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 25th, 2010
I can relate to these posts. It is nice to feel like I am not alone in this. Sometimes you start feeling like you are the only one in the world that can't have a baby. My husband & I lost our baby about 2 years ago. I was only 3 months along, it was early. We held off on trying for a while so that my body could recoop & I guess I thought it would be so easy to get pregnant again and it would work out the 2nd time around but that is not the case. We started trying about 6 months later & since then it has been an emotional roller coaster. It has not been easy. Its all I think about. I stress about it, I cry about it. I feel insecure & feel that I have lost my confidence along the way. I try not to obsess about it but there is no off switch. My friends & family are busting out babies left & right & although I dont want to feel sorry for myself, I can't help but feel left out & wonder why I have to be dealing w/ this loss. Two of my sister-in laws were pregnant @ the same time we were & we had all of these plans & ideas & I see their sons now at over 1 yr old & it is devastating. It has created alot of anxiety & depression. I just want to feel my carefree self again. I try hard to focus on the time my husband & I have now & enjoy it but we are ready to share our life with a little one. I guess the one thing that I try to remind myself is at least I know I can get pregnant but that is almost more frustrating because it isn't happening & I have no control.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 3rd, 2011
Obsessing
Wow, this all makes so much sense to me! I've been trying for four months now, not a long time, I know...the thing is everyone I know is either pregnant or having a baby! It's like when u buy a new car suddenly you see it everywhere! We've wanted a baby for well over a year but were waiting to get married, now that we can try I can't stop thinking about it!
My ewm seems to have stopped (it was in an abundance before ttc) and my mind is obsessed! I know all the right foods, drinking plenty of water, taking supplements and obsessing...my husband's understanding but it's just not the same for him..how do I stop thinking about it?!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 22nd, 2011
Same here I have been trying to get pregnant for almost 7 months now. Every month I keep my finger crossed I take a pregnancy test and it say NOT PREGNANT its so frustrating . Now I see most of my friends are having a baby and getting pregnant. I am happy for them but... I cut down on coffee, started having a healthy diet, tried the ovulation test kit nothing seems to be really working for us.

I found a way to relax myself. I really like to read so I read romantic novels in the night. When we have sex all I think is about the romance that was in the book and I enjoy the sex. 1 big mistake some women do while trying to getting pregnant (I used to do this) is looking out for babies stuffs like dresses,cribs,etc etc. I would say stop this. Now I don't even look at the kids sections.

All the best B2125 hope you get pregnant soon... Smile Smile
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied May 6th, 2012
Baby Crazed Too...
It feels like all of my patience for tty got burned up before we actually started trying. Serious plans for trying began after we'd been married 2 years. Then we had to wait 6 months for a big family trip to a 3rd world country. Then the inoculations we had to take for said trip pushed waiting another 6 months. When the time for precaution passed and we could finally start trying, I was elated. Sex was exciting and held a deep satisfaction in that I was making a baby with the man I loved.

When it hit me that we had been unsuccessful for nine months, I became a weepy, angry crazed mess. At least for me, sex has become a source of anxiety, and I can't talk to my partner about it because whenever we have a talk about sex, we don't have any. My mother has brought up IVF, (which, without proper diagnosis and hitting a full year of non-success is a little mean.) Friends who started trying (and ones who weren't,) have all delivered healthy beautiful babies and are asking, "When are you guys gonna take the plunge?"

I'll get to a point where I can calm down and throw my hands in the air, because there's no control in making a miracle happen (which is extra hard for this control-freak.) Then something will happen; having to buy baby stuff for work, getting another baby shower invite in the mail or any other reminder of what isn't happening for us and I lose it. I'm angry at my husband for not taking charge of having sex more often. I hate that I can't talk to him much about what I'm going through because he doesn't seem to get it, and if he ever did understand, both of us would be freaking out and further diminishing our chances.

God's timing isn't matching up to what I so intensely desire and all of the anger and sadness I feel are like throwing punches in the wind. Getting to a place where I can just go with the flow is so hard. Reading the stories of others who've been through this experience helps so much- especially the older stories that are written by women who have since been successful in having a baby.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 14th, 2012
Reading this helps me too...
I absolutely relate with you baby_limbo. You hit the nail on the head. I've used up all my patience before I even started trying. When I was 28, I painfully ended a loving relationship because he didn't want children in the foreseeable future. Since then, I made so many changes in my life to reflect that desire to be a family woman someday. I had to relocate to avoid falling back in with the ex and further postponing my goals, found a new and better job to further my career and be more financially stable, paid off debts, quit smoking and cut down drinking, became healthier, began dating and fell in love with a man that shares my family goals, and now FINALLY we just married in April and are now trying to concieve. I've been ready for this baby to come for so long...I just want it to happen instantly. The "two week wait" which I didn't even know existed before, is the most agonizing time ever. I eat, breathe, and dream babies babies babies and find myself treating my body as if I'm already pregnant, which makes my friends, husband, and family think I'm more than a little neurotic (ex: not eating bleu cheese, avoiding 2nd and 3rd glass of wine, etc.). If one more person tells me that my thinking about it all the time is going to prevent me getting pregnant, I might just slap them. There is not evidence to support that old wives tale. I think meditation is helping me a little...but that is all I've found to help. I'm not religious, but I need to trust in Mother Nature to take her course.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied September 13th, 2012
Stress + judgment = no luck
I was on birth control for 8 years and come from a super catholic family who keeps tsking at couples who can't conceive and relate it to birth control. My husband and I have been married for two years and I have been off it for the same amount of time. I have been trying for two months to conceive and have already started stressing out that I am infertile. The fact that he already has a 17-year old daughter (from a previous short-lived high school relationship) and that his ex has her plus two more kids 5 and 3 and is a super-mean judgmental egotistical person makes it even harder. I feel judgment from all angles. I just did a pregnancy test today and it was negative. I also have a super stressful job and feel like it is all adding up! It's good to hear all of your stories to know that I am not alone. In the upcoming months I would like to try ovulation tests and try to chill out more. But I am already tired of hearing women who easily conceived says "Don't try". Easy for them to say.
|
Did you find this post helpful?
12 >>
Quick Reply