Sexual Health - Women Forum - Is Verbal Abuse Really Bad??

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Q: Is Verbal Abuse Really Bad??

asked by: anyways29 on November 3rd, 2005

New User

Everytime I make a mistake my husband (we have only been married 3 months) yells and me and says the f word and calls me a b****. And yells so loud our neighbors can hear. I recently just had my wisdom teeth takin out and I was on vicoden and I get really emotional on it. But we got in a small fight and I went outside in the dark not really dressed right for the weather to get away for a second. He left me out there for an hour and didn't even check on me and we don't live in the best neighborhood. I'm just sad and I tell him not to call me those names and not to yell but he doesn't stop. I don't understand why he can't just talk to me normally. I never grew up with my family yelling so i'm not use to it and I hate it. Please give me your opinons, i'm so upset.

Replies(6)

Crazynurse

replied on November 3rd, 2005

New User

I want to apologize ahead of time for being blunt, but i'm not known for beating around the bush. Your husband is sick and he needs help. Yes, verbal abuse is bad. You need to stand up for yourself. You're in that relationship, too. He needs therapy but it won't work if he doesn't acknowledge that he has a problem. If he realizes he does and is willing to get help, good for you. If not, leave him. No man is worth it. I don't care if he looks like george clooney and is the father of your 10 kids. You deserve respect. Not only as his wife, but as a human being! Good luck and be strong!

anyways29

replied on November 3rd, 2005

New User

No I want you to be blunt. I don't have kids with him thank god and i"m 21 so my life is not over. You're right, it's hard cause I do stand up for myself and tell him not to yell at me or call me that. He has add but I still think that's not an excuse he is on medicine. I just am upset cause I would never treat him like that. Like today he was yelling at me cause I paid a bill with the wrong credit card I guess it was only $30 but he was sscreaming at me on the phone and called me the f word and stuff I hung up on him. Then he came into my work and apoligized, i'm still upset about it. But it's not just today it's over all. So i'll call therapists I guess and see if that works.

trinaoftexas

replied on November 4th, 2005

New User

Re: Is Verbal Abuse Really Bad??

I know you love him, but your husband sounds like a low down dirty mutha doing it problem who doesn't need to be married to anyone.

I have been dating my fiance for a year now and even in joking he will not call me a health forum. And when we argue, he wouldn't dare use the word medical question towards me.

Leave his triflin ass before you end up hating yourself for letting him take away your joy and happiness and "dealing with it".

anyways29

replied on November 4th, 2005

New User

Yeah I know it hurt me but I didn't know how big of a deal it really is. Now I see I really needed you guys to tell me thank you. I know it's so bad to talk to people like that I never have had anyone talk to me like that so I was confused. Thanks

Nikia

replied on November 6th, 2005

Experienced User

the Thing About Verbal Abuse

Is that if it is done over time, you will feel more lasting effects. You might develop anxiety disorders, depression, or a number of other mental health problems. Even if it isn't a specific mental health disorder, it would be really hard not to begin to doubt yourself and feel as if your feelings don't matter. Words hurt. He either needs to acknowledge what he is doing is wrong and get help if he can't stop on his own or you need to leave him.
If you did have any children with him in the future, he would probably be verbally abusive to them as well. Children are especially vunerable to being damaged from verbal abuse because they believe that everything their parents say is true when they are very young.

Loki_

replied on November 6th, 2005

New User

Love doesn't mean he can treat you that way. It's not an excuse or a right for him to do that. Stand up for yourself, and say "don't treat me this way." let him know, that you won't stand for it. No one deserves that type of treatment, and never think that it is acceptable, because it's not.

And I agree with the above :)

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