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My Boyfriend Has Hpv... Need Advice (Page 1)

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My boyfriend has genital warts.. He got them from his ex.. His first sexual partner.. Sadly.. Anyway.. We have been intimate but only with a condom.. Never without.. I just went to my doc and had my first pap done and I am waiting for results but visibly she saw nothing on me.. I told her about my boyfriends warts.. He had them removed and treats any others that pop up which is one or two at most.. He has an excellent immune system.. Really takes excellent care of himself.. My doc told me not to have sex with him.. Which I understand some strains of hpv can lead to abnormal paps, precancerous cells, etc.. This scares the hell outta me because I love my boyfriend very much and eventually, once married would like to have unprotected sex with him.. At the same time risking my health is very scary :? ... Any advice would be appreciated!
Thank you...
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First Helper what_to_do
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replied November 2nd, 2005
Experienced User
Don't worry, hpv isn't anything I guarantee it. It doesn't matter if you use a condom or not, if he's infected you can get it no matter what. It's real common and easy to take care of. You might have a good enough immune system that you might not get it at all and if you do you might not have any break=outs. I have it, and have never ahd a break out, I only found out b/c of a bad pap. I was worried and felt disgusted at first until I read more about it. Now, well it's life anymore. The guys that I have told that I have slept with don't even care b/c they know that it's nto a big deal.
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replied November 2nd, 2005
Thank you for you reply shoneen...
Have you had to have any leep procedures? I keep hearing about these but are these in severe cases or all cases of abnormal paps?
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replied November 3rd, 2005
There's a few surgical procedures to do when it comes to hpv. Freezing, acids what not. I was also diagnosed with it on the bases of a bad pap also and then thru colposcopy. I've yet to get the results but on the visual, doc's like . . .Yep. So i'm like . . K. My case like most cases was microscopic. Its a virtually harmless virus if you take care of yourself. For women that involves getting your paps as scheduled and what not. If you're in a relationship with someone with hpv/genital warts then its a good idea to educate yourself on what you are dealing with. Here's a very informative link for you; should check it out.

Http://www.Cdc.Gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.Htm
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replied November 6th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Stay With Him
If you really love him then I think you should look past his std. It happens to the best of us...I got herpes from a parner and when I met my now husband I cried my eyes out when I told him...He loved me so much he didnt care.
I thank god everyday for sending him to me. I was so afraid no one would ever love me. I hope you can look past this.
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replied November 7th, 2005
Thank You Lilypad
Well.. I love him more than anything.. I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him.. Thank you for your response, it's good to know there are other people in similar situations.. It's tough but whats meant to be is meant to be and I really feel we are supposed to be together.. Aside from this everything else is in place.. I've never felt so good about/with someone..

Thanks again for your advice..
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replied November 8th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Rumor
Someone that I work with just told me today that there is a vaccine coming out for hpv. I dont know much else about it but perhaps you could find out more by searching the web???

Also on another note, if you plan on marrying him I am sure you wont want to use condoms forever and there is a good chance you will get it eventually. I just wanted to share that my friend also has hpv but had no symptoms until she was pregnant. She actually found out when she was pregnant and she had gotten it way before she was even married to her husband. She vaginally delivered a healthy baby, and her hubby and her are doing fine. You can still get pregnant and have healthy babies with hpv and herpes just fyi.
Also hpv is actually more common than you think- 1 in 3 sexually active adults have the virus although many do not even realize they have it because they may not experience any symptoms.

Good luck to you both!
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replied November 8th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
One More Thing...
After I caught herpes from a boyfriend-we later broke up. I had a very hard time accepting it and it took some time. My dad's advice to me was to look at as a "test of love" if a man couldnt accept that about me then he wasnt the right one. Now that I am happily married to my husband I think back on how my life might of been different if I hadnt caught herpes. Would I have settled down sooner to someone else?? All I know now is that I think it was a blessing in disguise.
And for you, I hope that if you truly love him that you may pass this "test of love"
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replied April 28th, 2006
Thanks lilypad! Tell your father that he is awesome! I never looked at it that way. My ex broke up with me too after I told him about my hpv and now I am seeing an awesome guy who loves me unconditionally.
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replied April 28th, 2006
Hpv is not that big of an issue about 80 percent of men and women get it. I have also had this myself which led to early early stages of cervical cancer but that was my first pap smear when I was 18. My doctor said that I am one of the worst cases with this happening with someone so young. So ever since I was 18 I have gone to get a pap smear every three months. Im now twenty. When I figured out I had hpv I cried my eyes out but with how often men and women get it its not a worry :o)))! Good luck with your boyfriend.
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replied January 20th, 2009
HPV
I have had treatment for HPV and gone through the biopsy stages twice. The best advice to someone already infected I can give is that there are some great immune system boosters on the market - like vitamins and may help clear up HPV. Due to Terms of Use I cant mention the name of them here but they are on the internet. I have had two scares but would like to say you must stay on top of your pap smears and HPV tests its very very important. Keep a log of who you saw when and where and what treatment you had done. There are many strains of HPV and you may have a less aggressive strain so I would not be too concerned. Eat well they say that beta carotene if you are a non smoker is good also in extra quantities along with folic acid.
Stay positive and face it head on! There are many clinical trials out there that we could contribute to just by having HPV - go to http://www.cancer.gov/CLINICALTRIALS to aid research to find a vaccine to fight it.
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replied March 1st, 2009
shocked
i hope the infected individuals on this site who think that hpv is not a big deal are protecting themselves and the multiple partners they are infecting- regardless if the partner is "ok" with it or not...which sounds strange to me that a perfectly healthy man would risk his health for a girlfriend...that would make me leery as to what disease he may have himself...i recently met someone who is awesome but he has hpv and i can honestly say that i will not jeopardize my health by having sex with him but i will always love and respect him for being a man and telling me EVERYONE BE SAFE and stop being the cause of why this disease is so wide spread!
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replied March 11th, 2009
HPV
am i reinfecting myself through sex with the same person who gave me the virus if neither of us is with anyone else
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replied March 19th, 2009
Ignorance is no excuse...
A couple notes... a condom is no defense against HPV. There are some studies out there suggesting you can even get this by rubbing underwear together! If you have it, you have it. Most people do... but there is more than one strain out there, and at least 4 of those strains can be potentially deadly to women. PAP smears aren't a cure, just a way to catch cervical cancer early. Cancer is still cancer, ladies, and every new 'strain' you pick up increases your odds of getting it.
On the good side, THERE IS A VACCINE. On the bad side, right now only women 26 years old and under can get that vaccine. My new boyfriend has HPV, and we are both older... so I have a very hard decision to make... leave him, risk my health, or abstain until the vaccine is available to the 30-and-over crowd.
Also... the vaccine is spendy. If the boyfriend is the carrier, than perhaps the boyfriend should be offering to pay to be sure you are protected?
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replied April 26th, 2009
To: shocked
Shocked,

Your comments are entirely ignorant. What do you mean "a perfectly healthy man"? There is no such thing that you can be sure of. The likelihood that any man has this virus is greater than women. There is no such thing as "a perfectly healthy man", because there is no accurate way to test for this on men. They are the ones who are doing all the spreading, because they usually don't even have symptoms.

I find it even more pathetic that you could say there is something wrong with a man who would risk his health for a girlfriend (girlfriends often are future wives, which would mean that even moral people who do not have sexual relationships outside of marriage are included in your scenario, since they would be taking that risk at the time of marriage). What you are then saying is that people who have HPV never deserve to have relationships, or be loved by anyone who does not also have the disease, even though there is NO WAY TO BE SURE. Decent people do not choose who they love based on such things, but other more important qualities instead. I find it appalling that you think if someone does love them enough to overlook this, then there is something "wrong" with that person. It seems to me that you are the one there is something wrong with. First of all, this is not a big health risk for a man. I am a woman in my 40s, who has been celibate most of my life, except for a marriage many years ago, when I was in my 20s, and I've only been intimate with my then husband, who gave me this virus, even though he himself was apparently "perfectly healthy". He was not a promiscuous man, but had been married once before and must have contracted it from his wife (who had been unfaithful). I did not do anything to deserve this, neither am I spreading it around, but to think that anyone who "appears" healthy, loves me, and would be willing to overlook it must have something wrong with them is so ludicrous that I cannot comprehend your reasoning. It is not for you to decide who is worthy of being loved, or what others should be willing to overlook. And it certainly does not mean there is something "wrong" with them. In some cases these people want to spent the rest of their lives with someone, so they would not be spreading it around. Yet you perceive it as a character flaw!! How sad.
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replied February 13th, 2010
Experienced User
HPV in MEN
I am a man in my early forties who has been diagnosed with HPV and I am currently having a hard time coping with the whole issue so much so that my life has completely fallen apart around me but I agree with what purity has said I thought that the person I was with at the time would understand and she told me she did and would still love me but alas it never worked out she was insincere in everything she had said to me,even to the point of seeing other men behind my back and I know that the reason that a lot of women contract this is because of the man,but is this any reason to blame the man because at the end of the day it is the medical fraternity that should be to blame for not coming up with a more successful process of early detection in men.We are just as unfortunate as women when it comes to this.
To say that there must be something wrong with a guy/gal that would want to spend the rest of their lives with someone who has this is appalling.
I just wish there were more women out there who are accepting of men with this condition.
I still believe that Humans are inherently good and live in hope that one day I may find that special someone.

P.S.-There is an Indian Guru that says "That if you can love someone unconditionally then you have truly reached enlightenment".

P.P.S Everyone deserves to love and be loved whoever they are or what ever they may have or may not.
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replied November 15th, 2014
I am 41. I have had hpv. Recent pap smears show the std is gone. I would date a man with hpv if he gets treatment and takes care of himself. I would always use protection, and I am very sorry your gf hurt you.
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replied June 1st, 2010
Essiac
I have HPV. I was told I have the high risk type, not the one that cause warts, but the one that cause cancer. I had a cone biopsy. My pap was OK for a couple of years after my biopsy, but then it came back abnormal again a few months ago. Another colposcopy and I was told I needed to do a LEEP. I decided to not do it and take care of myself instead to improve my immune system. I started drinking Essiac tea every day. My last pap is normal again. The Essiac could have helped, and maybe not, but it doesn't hurt to try it because if it doesn't work, it won't hurt you.
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replied June 4th, 2010
Community Volunteer
There may be "miracle immune boosters" or "miracle cures" for HPV out there, but I cannot, in good faith, advocate the use of these products to get rid of HPV or any other venereal disease unless it has been scientifically established and endorsed by the FDA. If you have an abnormal Pap, keep that appointment for the colposcopy, if you had an abnormal colposcopy, keep that appointment for the LEEP procedure/cone biopsy/cryotherapy/etc. Don't decide NOT to get yourself taken care of because of a miracle cure some stranger swears worked for them. By all means, drink that tea or take that pill, but STILL KEEP YOUR APPOINTMENTS.

I have not had HPV but I have had abnormal Pap smears, resulting in several colposcopies and a LEEP procedure, which found that I had CIS I and CIN III in several areas on my cervix. My abnormalities are due to genetics. I am lucky because the precancerous (CIN III is Cervical Intraepithelial Neoplasia, grade III is the highest grade of this and is often just called CIS I because the differences between the two are so small, in other words, this is about as close as you can get to having a cancerous lesion without the lesion actually being cancerous) and cancerous (CIS I is cancer, carcinoma in situ grade I, low grade, but still cancer) lesions were found and excised early. I am only 24 years old.

As for HPV and it being no big deal and love matters surrounding HPV, I disagree that HPV is no big deal...it CAN and DOES lead to cancer in some individuals (regardless of what they do to boost their immune systems) but I also disagree that you should never love someone who has HPV and I also disagree that it is impossible to be in a loving, committed marriage or relationship with someone who has HPV, or any other disease, venereal or not. I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and my husband loves me dearly, despite the fact that I can do disgusting and freaky things with my body (I can stretch my skin really far and pop my joints out of socket on demand...EDS is a genetic syndrome that causes issues with connective tissue and the building blocks of connective tissue). If my husband can love my freaky arse, then I see no reason why a person who is healthy cannot love someone with HPV or why they should not love someone with HPV. I have friends who are HIV positive and in loving, committed relationships. Nothing wrong with loving someone with any disease or defect, as long as you know how to protect yourself, are aware of the risks, and know how to take care of the person you love (by taking care, I mean knowing about their medical condition, what to do in a medical crisis, etc). Would you stop loving your partner if they contracted MRSA? It is highly contagious and can kill...No, you wouldn't, you would protect yourself from the bacterium, just as a person would do if they had a partner with HIV or HPV or a host of other pathogens. Love is love, and there is no shame in loving ANYONE, regardless of their medical conditions, as long as you love responsibly and use the right kind of protection.
Yes, you need to be careful and protect yourself when it comes to venereal diseases, especially if your partner has one. Condoms MAY reduce the spread of HPV, but right now, all the scientific research points to is a small reduction, so condoms are not the best way to protect yourself from this disease. I know that Gardasil has now been approved for guys, so that is some awesome news.
http://www.fda.gov/NewsEvents/Newsroom/Pre ssAnnouncements/ucm187003.htm

I will be getting my daughter vaccinated for HPV, when she is old enough, as well as my son. I really wish that this link between cancer and some types of HPV was made a long time ago, so that the "older" (and I say that respectfully) generation could have the advantage of getting this vaccine. Although there are some risks to this vaccine, the benefits outweigh them tenfold (unless you happen to be allergic to any of the vaccines' ingredients...then there would be no benefit for those unlucky few).
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replied July 10th, 2010
My experience
my boyfriend has HPV and he was so nervous about telling me... and he got the virus of a ex gf he was with because she was unfaithful.we are very happy and yes i know there is a risk but at the end of the day i love this guy to bits he is amazing!!!

So i ent going to give you advice i just gonna remind you to follow your heart hun...dont listen to the bad or the people who would criticise let your heart make the decision for you!!!

yes there are risks...but there are risks in every aspect of life if your happy then go for it dont look back!!!

My friend has HPV and her boyfriend stuck by her they now have 2 healthy little girls...

To me they are an inspiration that regardless of what life throws at you you can be happy

hope that helps
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replied September 27th, 2010
Sex Ed and HPV
I feel many of these responses are misleading and a result of lack of education in regards to HPV. There are many forms of the HPV virus and they cause a variety of symptoms. HPV that causes genital warts is not the same form of the virus that causes cervical abnormalities. Cervical abnormalities or atypical cervical cells can, when untreated lead to cervical cancer. I will not speak on whether genital warts can lead to cervical cancer because I do not know. However, I have had 2 abnormal paps both a result of HPV. I DO NOT have genital warts.

I would seek more educational information regarding HPV in the form of genital warts to help you make the appropriate decision. Your doctor suggesting that you and your partner shouldn't have sex is not only unrealistic, but adds to the stigma and fear many have attached to informing their partners about STD's. It is unfortunate. I think if you love him you can both work through it. I also think your willingness to look past it and to work through it is very mature and a true testimony to your love for him. Good luck and check out this link. It's very informative http://www.cdc.gov/hpv/
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