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Mens Health > Erectile Dysfunction Forum > Ed Or Loss of Desire?
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Q: Ed Or Loss of Desire?
asked by: jenga on November 2nd, 2005
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and a half. He is 29 and I am 31. The problem is in the last couple months, we have only been able to have sex a couple times, not for lack of trying. He is unable to get an erection or at least maintain an erection. Before this, our sex life was fine, other than a few lapses which usually was when we were having problems and there seemed to be some anxiety issues on his end.
Yesterday, after yet again trying with no result, I just came right out and asked him if he would talk to me. Previously I had asked if it was me and he said no. Yesterday he said he just hasn't been really interested in sex. He said it's sometimes a lack of interest in the act itself and sometimes a lack of interest in me. He reassurred me that he loves me and wishes this wasn't happening. I was understanding, etc, but deep down am very hurt. My self esteem is shot and I am now fearful he will want to break up with me even though there's nothing wrong in our relationship other than this (as far as I know). I am 100% he is not cheating on me. I asked if he has been masturbating and he said he hasn't really had the desire to do that either. Do men at age 29 have a loss of desire in sex or do you think he may have ed? I want to ask him to go to a doctor, but he definitely does not like talking about this with me and probably wouldn't go to a doctor. I feel like it's more psychological than physical. He does use marijuana which I have tried to get him to quit, but he won't. I've read that this could cause problems, but how would that explain the fact that pretty much we've had no sexual problems in the past? Please help.
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cd998776
replied on November 2nd, 2005
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redzonebikes
replied on November 14th, 2005
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He is probably stressed out, and he dosent want to have sex right now, ask him how he feels and what might be bothering him, but dont be direct or it could make things worse. It might help to go real slow before having sex to build up excitement. I have noticed that pot does have a effect on sex drive and slows your circulation so that might be a factor
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cd998776
replied on November 14th, 2005
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Redzonebikes is right, pot has a major effect on your sex drive.
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redzonebikes
replied on November 17th, 2005
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Let me know if you find anything that works, I am going through the same problem and I am 20, yeah it doing it sucks
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duedirty
replied on November 22nd, 2005
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Try changing your environment or do some roll playing, sex is also mental do something different.
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lil_blaze2004
replied on December 8th, 2005
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cd998776 wrote:
redzonebikes is right, pot has a major effect on your sex drive.


not for my bf...He smokes a lot of weed and always wants sex. We have a 5 1/2 month old baby and I never want sex, damn I wish the pot killed his drive. Lol (oh and no he does not smoke in the house or around the baby)
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cd998776
replied on December 8th, 2005
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^^just imagine what it would be like if he didn't smoke it....
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lil_blaze2004
replied on December 8th, 2005
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cd998776 wrote:
^^just imagine what it would be like if he didn't smoke it....


oh god, shoot me now!! Lol
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