Boyfriend Compulsive Porn Viewer

Guys get really defensive when you catch them I went through the same thing with my husband. Untill I went on the internet looked at what he was looking at and dressed in the outfits and or did what those girls where doing. I never had a problem with getting him in the sheets though so I dont know if it would work or not

Might I suggest to you that you rent or purchase a porn movie and watch it together - feel free to get frisky during it. This way you both get what you want, and he will start to associate porn with you instead of by himself.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Um, me too. My boyfriend of almost 3 years now has the same prob. I have never accused him of looking too much. I just can't stand it at all anymore. My boyfriend too reassures me that he loves me, he just never wants to do it. We do it maybe once per month but have gone much longer. I began to feel terrible about myself, ugly, unsexy, very depressed. When this happened, I told him, again and again. He always got mad and tried to make it better. But nothing really got better. I always felt like deep down, he thought sex or I was icky. Then I found the porn. I got so mad that these girls on the computer were getting the attention and I wasn't. That he was getting himself off and I wasn't. He'd rather jerk off than have sex with me, that's what I thought(think). I broke up with him after trying everything, costumes, going down on him, all the time I was pushed away. There was always some stupid excuse. When I found the porn, I got the ultimate excuse, a last ditch effort to save the relationship. He said he was having premature ejaculation problems and he had to jerk off before we had sex. Anyway, it's going on 3 years and while I believe he loves me, the sexual relationship will never be healthy. I keep finding porn and I f I do again he'll be gone for good. My self esteem can't take it!!!-jen

He can get desensitized watching porn. He can get it up for the tv but when it comes to you. Limp noodle

Really?!!!? Maybe that's why women don't like it. Any way, my bf is not going to last forever. It has been too detrimental to the relationship. How do you know he can get desensitized? He's been watching it forever and I know he still lies to me about it. -jen

I am completely anti pronography and my husband is too but guess what? He's addicted to it! He admits it and he is trying to stop. He confesses it to me when he slips up and asks forgiveness and of course I forgive him. Think of it as akin to drinking or smoking or (i think we girls all get this one) chocolate. It's a craving and it's very difficult to battle. You boyfrieds and husbands are embarrassed abd become defensive because they know it's wrong and that it hurts you. Try your best to be understanding but firm. It's not easy but each trial a couple withstands make them stronger and more likely to survive the next little hiccup in the relationship.

Sorry girls but I find porn more amusing than anything else. Especially when the acting is so poorly done :lol:

My fiance' watches porn all the time. Of course right now he is over seas so he doesn't have a whole lot of choice. When I first started getting serious with guys and I found out about their porn I was offended, then I started watching it too and we'd have a good time while watching it. Not to mention i'd rather him be at home watching porn while i'm on my period then at the strip club or out with his friends. Guys' need to see different things, they're weird like that. I enjoy my man watching porn b/c then he'll turn aroud and put something new down b/c of what he learned.

I'm not so much anti-porn. I too would rather have him jerking off to porn than cheating on me(although perhaps its the lesser of the two evils). What I do mind is that we haven't had sex in more than a month! I too find it detrimental to our relationship. It does not seem to interfere with any other aspect of his life, only our bedroom. I've tried everything, dressing up, fellatio, even suggesting making our own porno. I find that I am very irretable because i'm not having the level of intimacy that I crave. Is this offense worth breaking up over?

See, I too, used to not mind porn. I used to watch it with my ex sometimes. I never cared if he watched it. But we had a great sex life. When you are with someone, you can tell if you satify them. I satified him completely and he didn't need porn. The problem is that some of our current boyfriends/ husbands would rather look at porn than look at us. There's nothing wrong with us, mind you, it's just that they have a problem. Think of it as being akin to rather using your vibrator than having sex. How would that make them feel?(inferiority complex?) some people are better than others, but to me a vibrator just couldn't cut it. Though I think we get more of an intimacy fulfillment out of sex than they do. It's when it gets in the way of the relationship that it is a problem. Once you've had a completely fulfilling relationship that way, everything else is just... Not worth it. -jen

Personally I think its a blessing!! But when there has been no sex for about a month I then start to get a bit annoyed.

If hes ever a bit randy and I dont feel like it I often say to him to jump on the computer or watch a dvd to relieve the tension.

I'm more of a kiss and cuddle type of girl!!

You women that "let" your men watch porn need to kick that sorry sob to the curb and find a man who treats you with respect. No respectable man will watch porn if he has a significant other...It is blatant disrespect all across the board, and I consider it cheating as well....So what if it's only an "image". It's still another woman who he is lusting after and thus taking away from your own relationship. Anthing else anyone tells you is pure bs. I would never put up. Get a backbone, and get another man...Not all men view porn....

My fiance watchs porn to on a regular basis. Now my situation is a bit diffrent. We have been to gether for three years and we have one daughter and one on the way. I always show him that I want him. But he shoves me off and watchs porn and when we are intimate he cant keep it up and he uses the excuse that he dosnt have any energy. I hardly hear him tell me that he loves me and he never tells me anymore that Im beutiful, sexy nothing! I dont understand it this has been happing since december 2008. I need some advice or something!

Men watch Porn for a lot of reasons. It fulfills different needs than a monogamous partner can. If your man is getting off with porn rather than you there is a reason for this. It has nothing to do with him being immature or a bad boy. If his needs are more easily met through porn then you are very likely making it too difficult to meet his needs. Maybe you are shutting down his sexual desires for particular acts. Maybe sex tends to have strings attached in your relationships. Maybe sex with you is just too exhausting or hard on his ego. If you would like to have sex with your husband in an internet age you need to work with him to make sure you give him at least as much pleasure as some chick in a tiny Mpeg window. Sit down with your partner and tell him that you need him sexually and you are willing to work with him to bring him back to the bedroom. Ask him openly about what porn does for him that you don't, and offer compromises to porn. Remember that your partner originally wanted only to have sex with you, that they turned to Porn because they couldn't solve the problems in their sexlife. Don't expect him to just come around and fly right because you confront him. You will have to address the problems that are driving him to Porn and be ready to hear reasons why he no longer wants to have sex with you.

Offering to watch porn with him is a great move and shows a lot of confidence as a woman. However it may not address the problems you have in the relationship. Try it, it costs you nothing ultimately.