I am tracy, soon to be 29, have a 7 year
old son and another baby on the way..Due
in march 2006. We currently reside in new
brunswick canada.
I have found the last two weeks I have
been having extreme difficulty coping with
stress and am very sensitive to things and
comments etc..At first I figured it was
just pregnancy hormones but have come to
realise that spending everyday for two
weeks straight curled up in a ball crying
my eyes out isn't normal. I have also
been pushing my s/o away and treating him
badly when all he has been doing is being
the best support he can and father to this
soon to be baby.
He and I are in a long distance
relationship right now. He lives in
pensylvannia and I am in canada. We have
been close friends since 2000 and
romanticaly involved since 2004. This is
also his first baby. We are happy to be
having this baby even though it was not
planned. But the distance right now is
really really hard on both of us and its
taking its toll on our relationship. I am
always accusing him of things, snapping at
him, distancing myself from him.
A lot of things have been happening the
last year for me and its been rough and
its all starting to catch up on me....One
thing..The distance between my s/o and
i...His family are against the pregnancy.
His mother despises me, she is using her
health to make me feel guilty about this
baby and making him feel aweful. I feel
sorry for him because he has no support
whatsoever on his side of the family. The
only one person who does is one of his
aunts whom he is close with and her
daughter was in the same boat as we are.
So she can relate. My family are all
excited about the upcoming baby and
everything. So that is at least a good
thing and they told me that they take him
as their own son as well and are sorry
that his family is being that way. And
you know what..I know I shouldn't let that
get to me. Because it will be his mother
who will regret it later on on missing out
on getting to know her first and last
grandchild.
Another thing thats really bothering me is
my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer at
the age of 45 in nov of 2004. She had
surgery performed on her in jan 2005 and
have had 3/4 of her left lung removed
successfuly. She has had radiation as
well which was successful. But now they
have found two more tumors and even though
they say they are not active and small it
still worries me. My grandmother (my
mom's mother) died when I was barely a
year old at the age of 47 of breast
cancer. My grandmothers mother also died
at 46 from a form of cancer as well with
my mom being really young. So see the
pattern here? My mom will be turning 46
in a few weeks and with this pregnancy I
can't help but to worry that this baby
will lose her grandmother as well at a
young age. I just can't lose my mom now
kwim?
Anywho those are just two of the many
things thats been really bothering me
latly. I try soooo hard to focus on this
baby growing inside of me but I can't help
but to stress and worry about many things
coming and etc...
Anyways. Sorry for the long message and
rambling. I just feel like I have no one
to talk to. I can't talk to my mom
because of her health. She can't be under
any stress right now. I can't talk to my
s/o because the poor guy is going through
enough on his side of the family with his
mom being on his back. Oh and my s/o is
34 and a lonely child!
I hope I can get some comfort and
resources and support from this group.
And I hope I can provide some to others as
well!
Thanks for taking the time to read. I
really appreciate it!
