I too have experienced better control from doing reverse kegels, though it's still a work in progress. Here's what I think happens: when you hold a reverse kegel, it keeps the PC muscle from tightening and therefore speeding up orgasm. In other words, there's no way to simultaneously hold both a reverse AND a regular kegel. It would be like trying to inhale and exhale at the same time. Does holding a reverse kegel keep you from orgasming at all?... no. Eventually, I still do come even if I'm totally "gripping" a reverse kegel hold. However, it's allowed me to go a lot longer and have better control during sex. Just remember to keep breathing deeply as you hold that reverse kegel, cause it's easy to forget and hold your breath.
This is very interesting. I've never heard that relaxing the PC/BC muscle can help.
What do you guys think of this: Maybe my premature ejaculation problem is that I do the opposite. I finish within a minute, even when masturbating. I tried regular kegels in the past (years ago), and that didn't seem to help. But you know how when you have an erection and do a kegel, your penis jumps up? Whenever the head of my erect penis is touched, it jumps like that. And while doing any kind of stroking, it feels tensed up. But it relaxes when the stroking stops. Do I need to work really hard on relaxing that muscle?
I don't want to come off like I'm an authority on this topic, because I'm not. I have no medical training or credentials. What I do have is years of experience dealing with this from a unique perspective. Everything that I write here is based on my personal trials in this area, and may not be technically accurate, but it's what worked for me. If I can help someone else, that's great.
Background: When I was a child, my family frequently traveled to our cottage, 3 hours from our house. My father had an irrational avoidance to stopping en route for any reason, bathroom breaks included, so I learned how to hold it in. As a result, 35 years later my default PC muscle position is now contracted - I am (or was for many years) always in kegel position.
Couple this with BPH (Benign Prostate Hyperplasia) and you can't imagine the difficulty I had urinating, and much of my personal research and experimentation has been to rediscover simply how to pee. It was during this time that I discovered I also didn't know how to have an orgasm, at least not a proper one.
Here is what I found out: you need to know how to do both a kegel, and a reverse kegel to achieve maximum benefit from your orgasm. The stronger the contraction during your kegels, and the deeper the push during your reverse kegels, the better your climax will feel, and the more impressive your shot will be.
First of all, here's what I learned about relaxing the PC muscle. I don't classify this as an actual reverse kegel, it's just to get back to neutral muscle posture for me. Some of you may benefit from this, some may not need it:
1. Start with your anus. Relax it, like you're -almost- pushing out to fart. It's a fine line. You'll probably be pushing too much to start, but once you get it, you'll know.
2. Once you've got the hang of that, and can relax your backside, you need to start moving that sensation forward. I liken it to one of those party favors that unrolls when you blow into it. Making sure to keep each area relaxed as you move to the next, roll the relaxation forward from your anus, around the prostate, under your testicles, and then right to the tip of your penis, at which point your whole PC muscle should be in a relaxed and neutral state.
A reverse kegel is really the steps above but with the pushing. You push out your anus like you're going fart, and then push forward under your testes, and right to the tip of your penis like you're trying to pee. Imagine how pee feels flowing down your urethra - same deal.
Which reminds me, you'll probably want to do these while sitting on the toilet, at least the first few times.
Holding a reverse kegel is a challenge, because as someone here pointed out earlier, it's difficult to breathe while you're doing it. They're right, and you'll need to practice some breathing techniques to make it happen. Happily, the reverse kegel is part of these techniques.
Start the reverse kegel, pushing out your anus. As your roll the kegel forward, start inhaling, making sure to breathe from your belly button. This helps you drop your diaphragm and take a full and deep breath. The reverse kegel should finish before you've inhaled fully, and you'll need to concentrate on holding it while you finish your breath.
Hold the breath briefly while you refocus to do the reverse kegel again, and either push if forward quickly and start exhaling once you're done, or push it forward slowly as you exhale. Rinse and repeat.
Good posture is very important. Keep your stomach tight while exhaling, and don't let it, or your chest, collapse too much. Remember, breathe from your belly button.
You should also be practicing regular kegel exercises, with the goal being to combine the two into one exercise where you kegel, then reverse kegel, then kegel, then reverse kegel, all while maintaining proper breathing technique. I find it best to kegel while inhaling and reverse kegel while exhaling, but you should try both to see which works best for you.
It's this transition between kegel and reverse kegel that will give you killer orgasms and those "ropes" of ejaculate. Once the orgasm is triggered, the kegel primes, and the reverse kegel pumps, just like it pushes out pee. The deeper your reverse kegel, the bigger and harder your shot will be. If you're having trouble hitting the reverse kegel during orgasm, try to focus on just keeping your anus relaxed during the reverse kegel phase. This is the most critical element. Seriously, try not to think about your penis, and focus on your anus.
Note that I don't recommend putting anything in your anus, only that you keep it relaxed. I apologize if I seem to be fixating on that area of anatomy, but it really is a key in making all this work, at least in my experience. And it makes sense to me, because the kegel runs in reverse. It starts at the tip of your penis and ends with a clenched sphincter, so the two are mirrored, as they should be.
Diet also has an impact. Pay attention to your Omega-6/Omega-3 balance - they should be about equal, but we tend to ingest too much 6s (pro-inflammatory) and not enough 3s (anti-inflammatory). Flax seed, fish, both great sources. Also watch your calcium/magnesium balance. It should be 2/1, but we get too much calcium, which promotes muscle strength and contraction, and nowhere near enough magnesium, which supports muscle relaxation. Get a magnesium supplement. (All supplement advice given to me by my naturopath. Don't shoot the messenger if you think I'm wrong!)
I hope this has been helpful to someone. I know it's been a long and painful journey for me. Good luck to all, and please let me know if any of this helps you.
Wow, I knew just clenching the PC muscle harder couldn't "prevent" P.E., since that's what was happening while bad masturbation habits (whom would make anyone cum faster). Sorry for the details, only trying to make people realise what's their mistake !
Now I love this post, AT LAST I've found somewhere where they give realistic facts about reverse kegels & BC muscle exercise, your response, ZaphodB, was really complete I'd like to add, thanks for all the tips !
I'll be starting off my reverse kegels regularly now, and maybe incorporate a little normal kegels in there, to equilibrate the whole thing.
Now, I was doing reverse kegels from time to time but didn't really see any huge results (tought I didn't perceverate for long)I'd like to know how much time would it take to see any improvement, and how many reps would be good to do, and on what schedule ?
Wow great topic, i'm experiencing a bad case of PE, even while masturbating. I've tried a lot even medicine (worst decision ever)/ Due to exploring meditating end reading a lot of stuff i started to concentrate on relaxing the muscles. Like someone here said, when touching my penis (the top) my pc muscles get tense, like an reflex. I've learned that it takes a lot of practise to fully relax all of your muscles, you need to pay a lot of attention to your breathing. I experienced that during the day my stomach was always tense. I'm now trying to do exercises every day hoping it will help. My tip is to first really try to feel your muscles during masturbation, and feel how do get tense. It's really fascinating to feel that as soon as you touch your penis al kinds of muscles immediately get tense.
Just wondering however, a technique to actually use these excersizes during intercourse for example, do you do a reverse kegel if you feel like you're approaching that point ? like how exactly do you use this? whats the point of practicing how to control it if you dont know how to use it?