I am so sorry to hear all you may be going through at this time. I know how difficult it is to loose someone that you dearly love, and then be able to go and manage the daily routines. I mean I am 24 and my life was going great, until one day my 1 month old son past away. It was extremely difficult as you can imagine, but I got my strength and encouragement from god. I was unable to think, speak, or do anything that would be so easy any other day. I think that you need to may be have a good night sleep, may be drink something to help you go to sleep (like a tea of some sort!). And, then may be try to hit the books that way. Always remembering that your only rescue in times like these, where nothing seems to be going well, is god; and only he can shows us a way. And, specially you that needs that comfort, safety, and security that your heart is longing after your father's passing.
Hope I was able to help!!!!!!!!!!

god can only help me so much though, I prayed the other night, yet it is still down to me to do the work and get the grades so I can get into a good university and one day get a good career in a field I enjoy (maths) and start a family and be a provider for my family. And at the moment, I can see all those dreams crumbling away, I just cant manage with it.


Everything seems to be going wrong. I mean, even stupid things, like the bank - i'm 18 and asked for a debit card when I was 17, they said I had to be 18. I asked for one the other day and they said I needed an account upgrade when I don't. But I must emit some stupid aura because they insisted I didn't know what I needed! I'm supposed to have this card with my account, but dont.


My education maintenence allowance of £30 hasn't come through yet. We sent the details off, but then they wanted dad's death cert., so we sent that, then they wanted a stamp from the tax office, so they sent us the form which we sent to the tax office who stamped it and sent it back to us and we sent it back to them again. Now they've sent us another letter asking us to fill out an application form. Which is what I did in the first place. I phoned them up and told them, but the woman there was just stupid and ignored what I said and just told me to fill it out. But if they've lost it I need to get all the documents together again and everything's just too much.

Edit: thankyou graciously for you advice however :)

I am so sorry to hear about everything that has happened for you. I have justed started working on my own anxiety problem and I was looking here to see what others have to say. I noticed your message and it reminded me of a lot of things that I have felt. For example, when you talked about the stress of school and wanting to do well while dealing with personal issues, that was very familiar, as well as when you said that things felt strange and unreal and that you knew you had to do things for yourself.

The main thing I wanted to say is that even though you have to do things yourself and for yourself, that doesn't mean you have to do them alone. If you are ready for it, you might find it helpful to talk to a counselor or psychologist. I have found it very helpful to have a person who isn't directly involved in my life but that is trained to deal with the situations I am going through as my resource to help me get through things and learn from the experience of doing that. Anyone in any of your situations might feel overwhelmed, and to deal with each of them takes a lot of energy and courage. It sounds like you are doing your best to deal with all of the details, even if it doesn't feel that way. The fact that you are working to deal with these things and reaching out to others makes me think that you have a lot of strength, even if you don't feel it now. If you don't want to talk to a therapist, maybe there is a friend or a family member who can listen. A lot of schools in the us have psychologists or peer counselors to help students, maybe there is something like that there. My personal opinion is that it helps to have someone outside of friends and family to help from a personal, not professional stance. Some people also find it helpful to write things down and talk about it that way.

Whatever you decide to do, know that even though you have to do it yourself you don't have to do it alone, and that to an outsider you sound like you are strong, even though I am sure it may not feel that way. Even though we've never met, i'll be thinking of you and hoping we both get though things ok. Hopefully the bank and the education allowance people will stop being stupid too. I believe you can deal with all this and I just wanted to send some encouragement and ideas for dealing with things.

Hello dreaming dv,

it seems to me with the death of a family member and being under extreme stress at the uni, that stress hormones are starting to interfere with the production of feel good neurotransmitters such as serotonin.



This can lead to all sorts of 'mental' problems, but really is a physiological problem.



I think you can turn things around if you go on a hypoglycemic diet. You need a high energy diet away from refined carbohydrates and good quality high protein sources.





jurriaan plesman, ba (psych) post grad dip clin nutr
for more articles see
Hypoglycemia.Asn.Au

Hi there,

i was reading your message and it is very similar to things I have been through. You have to remember you have been through so much and you have to give your body time to adjust. Stressing yourself out about your work doesn`t help you get it done any better, I know this as I went through my exams at uni and the stress was causing my hair to fall out, I was losing weight and I was a complete emotional wreck. It didn`t get my work done and the only way I could cope with the work load was to sit down and work out a study plan. I know it sounds cheesy and obvious but it really worked for me. You may have days when your brain is consumed with other things and you won`t get as much done, but then there are the days when you get lots done. Make a point of giving yourself time off, sometimes working when your not getting anywhere makes you even more stressed and frustrated.

Believe me I know how hard your economics and other subjects can be, this is what I did at university! Stress will affect you in so many ways the first will be your performance when working. Your concentration is affected amongst other things. Have you asked your teachers for support, do they know your situation? I used my schools guidance teacher when I was having a rough time, they could even talk to your teachers on your behalf.

As for everything else, don`t let it stress you out the bank and stuff like that really isn`t important. You are! Stress and anxiety can cloud your judgement and make you feel all sorts of horrible things. Look after yourself, I know you will say you don`t have time but, make time to relax, read, do something you really enjoy. It really helps to take your mind off matters.

Some things in life bogs us down and makes us think we can`t get through things but I bet that you will get through this and you will get stronger from it. You will learn so many good coping skills, take a look at anxiety on the web you will find good advice but also don`t follow everything you read just because something happened to someone else doesn`t mean this will happen to you.

I hope it all gets better
debs