If you had done a lot of foreplay and were properly lubricated, it maybe would have hurt, but should not have been so painful. I've never heard that it is worse when you are on your period (but then, most women probably don't have their period the first time they are having sex). Was it also your husband's first time having intercourse? Did he make sure you were aroused?

It definitely shouldn't be hurting any more after 7 or 8 times! I guess the problem there is that you aren't aroused. I wonder if you are feeling guilty about having sex, even though you are now married? Were you brought up to feel that it is wrong? I think that it can be hard to get over that even after you are married, and you are technically "allowed".

It could also be something about the particular bcp you are using, that maybe doesn't suit you very well. It's possibly it is impacting your libido. The best thing is probably to go see your doctor and explain how you are feeling.

I also dont feel anything with clitoral or breast stimulation, but it's not a new thing for me. It's been that way before I lost my virginity, while I was sexually active, and after my bf and I agreed we should wait to continue having sex until after we're married. (spiritual beliefs and all, mostly mine, but he respects them and will only do what i'm comfortable with. We also hadn't had sex for very long, just a couple of weeks or so.) unfortunately, I haven't heard any advice for achieving an orgasm without clitoral stimulation, so I cant really help you, sorry, but I do know how you feel, sort of.

Did you wait at least a few days after the first time? If not, you should have. You needed time to heal. Also, make sure you are lubricated. If it is dry it isn't going to feel too good.