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OaTmEaLfAiRy Experienced User
October 18th, 2005
My sister is 6 weeks pregnant. My mom told her last night that she won't sign the abortion consent form (my sister is only 17 and ia is a consent-state). My sister flipped out and wrote a suicide note. Is this normal? I mean did anyone else get really depressed in the beginning of their pregnancy? Don't worry too much, my mom is taking care of it (she's going to take her to the psych ward of the hospital to get her checked out).
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babyrae
replied October 18th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
I dont really think its a sympton of pregnancy.. I think its a feeling of her own for being "trapped" , which is prolly how she feels knowing she has no say in her body and what not. If shes getting like this then maybe your mother should sign the consent form. Its not good if you want to have a child, just cuz your against abortion, just so the mother can grow up resenting her child and treating it like sh*t. Im not saing your sis will do that and im not saying she will definetly be like that. But if shes in this state now, maybe your mom should let her make her own choice? Im sorry im not of too much help!
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19mommy
replied October 18th, 2005
Experienced User
Your mother has a reason to not sign the consent form, and your sister has a reason for wanting it signed, but I feel that if your sister is flipping out over not being able to obtain this abortion and is already thinking about suicide, then I dont think that she should have the abortion. Because after abortions a period of deppression sets in and your sister maybe willling to take her life again, she already thought about it. But this time she might be able to carry it through because no one would take her serious considering she wanted to commit suicide when she couldnt have an abortion, and now that she got one no one would think she'd want to take her life considering she go what it was that she wanted. I think your mom should have her checked out and hopefully she will change her mind about her unborn child.
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OaTmEaLfAiRy
replied October 18th, 2005
Experienced User
Yep.
Apparently the hospital no longer has an adolescent psych ward. I don't know when that changed. But she has a psych. Appointment tomorrow morning. Babyrae, my mom won't sign the consent form because she is religiously against it. She can be excommunicated from our church, just for signing the form. My sister will have plenty of time to get an abortion once she turns 18, if she still chooses so. She doesn't need to flip out now. She's just afraid that the longer she's pregnant, the more time there is for someone to figure it out. She doesn't want people to know because she's afraid they'll judge her. But when they find out that she had an abortion, they'll be even more harsh. I just can't get her to listen to me when I tell her that.
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herexwexgoxagain
replied October 22nd, 2005
Re: Yep.
oatmealfairy wrote:
apparently the hospital no longer has an adolescent psych ward. I don't know when that changed. But she has a psych. Appointment tomorrow morning. Babyrae, my mom won't sign the consent form because she is religiously against it. She can be excommunicated from our church, just for signing the form. My sister will have plenty of time to get an abortion once she turns 18, if she still chooses so. She doesn't need to flip out now. She's just afraid that the longer she's pregnant, the more time there is for someone to figure it out. She doesn't want people to know because she's afraid they'll judge her. But when they find out that she had an abortion, they'll be even more harsh. I just can't get her to listen to me when I tell her that.


odd question, but by any chance are you mormon? I only ask because I am and i've never heard any other religion use the word "excommunicated".
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babyrae
replied October 22nd, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Well thats quite the sticky situation then! She shouldnt wait so long tho to get an abortion if she wants one cuz the farther it is, the more complicated it is and most doctors wont do it over 12-16 weeks (i dont know if its different in the states).
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Kourtney08
replied October 22nd, 2005
Active User, very eHealthy
19mommy wrote:
your mother has a reason to not sign the consent form, and your sister has a reason for wanting it signed, but I feel that if your sister is flipping out over not being able to obtain this abortion and is already thinking about suicide, then I dont think that she should have the abortion. Because after abortions a period of deppression sets in and your sister maybe willling to take her life again, she already thought about it. But this time she might be able to carry it through because no one would take her serious considering she wanted to commit suicide when she couldnt have an abortion, and now that she got one no one would think she'd want to take her life considering she go what it was that she wanted. I think your mom should have her checked out and hopefully she will change her mind about her unborn child.


she shouldn't have the abortion, because after abortions women tend to get depression. That's your reasoning? Is that a joke? Do you have kids? You do realize after giving birth, women get this thing called post partum depression?

This is her body, and she's most likely feeling very, very trapped. It's too bad she has to have parent consent, she should be able to make the choice, not someone who isn't carrying the baby.
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OaTmEaLfAiRy
replied October 23rd, 2005
Experienced User
Paradigms
How about someone who has been in this position? With her, no less. My mom decided not to have an abortion with her, but seriously considered it with my little brother (who is like 15 months younger than my sister) because my little sister was only 6 months old when my mom got pregnant again. The point is, my mom felt trapped too but realized that it wouldn't be fair of her to never give my sister a chance. Now it's suzanna's turn to "pay it forward" and she won't do it.

And just so you know, depression after abortion is much more likely that ppd (post-partum depression). Because only a semi-small percentage of women get ppd, but more than half get pas (post-abortion syndrome).
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OaTmEaLfAiRy
replied October 23rd, 2005
Experienced User
Oh Yeah.. Almost Forgot.
Yes, we are mormon (except my sister.. Or soon-to-be ex-mormon anyways). We've found out that if my mom signs the consent form, she won't be excommunicated (although the bishop didn't say anything about any other disciplinary actions). But my sister would be. At this point, she's being so selfish and arrogant about it, that she doesn't care. I wish this had happened at a time when she wasn't testing her limits and exploring her faith. This sucks, a lot!
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poohbear101
replied October 23rd, 2005
Experienced User
I've been reading these posts and find myself completely torn. I don't believe in abortion, but on the other hand forcing someone into something they don't want isn't right or fair. I understand that you're of certain religion and beliefs but if your sister is forced to have this baby what happens to it? She's going to resent it for ruining her life and being forced upon her and might not even have anything to do with it. And i'm not saying that your sister would but some mothers who have children that they don't want sometimes end up abusing them. I'm not saying that abortion is the right thing because I do think that this child is innocent and should be given a chance to live, but I also don't think she should be forced to have a baby she doesn't want. But in the end it really is her body so it should be her choice, whether she's 18 or not.
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OaTmEaLfAiRy
replied October 24th, 2005
Experienced User
Almost..
I would've probably agreed with an uninterested shrug a few months ago. But now that it'!**@! so close to home, it's very different. She wouldn't have to keep the baby, but I would rather her give it to a family who will love this child as a gift from god, rather than her just kill it for no reason.
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babyrae
replied October 24th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Re: Almost..
oatmealfairy wrote:
i would've probably agreed with an uninterested shrug a few months ago. But now that it'!**@! so close to home, it's very different. She wouldn't have to keep the baby, but I would rather her give it to a family who will love this child as a gift from god, rather than her just kill it for no reason.


plz dont use that "killing for no reason" she has a reason. Shes not ready, and shes made a mistake. You have to understand that you cant force someone to keep a child. For some people, it will be a lot harder for a woman to go thru 9 months of pregnancy, just to give birth and give her baby up. There are always different views on abortion but u cant throw your judgement on her. Her body, her life, her choice. Sure she may suffer depression, sme do. But it is not a higher rate that postpartum depression. Postpartum is much more serious. If she didnt want this child from the beginning, after she gives birth she may come to hurt it. Hurt to think of it but yes postpartum will do that to you. I have had an abortion, I was 14 actually. Yes I suffered a bit of depression but it was for many different reasons. I also suffered a bit of depression after having my child. Its a part of life.
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19mommy
replied October 24th, 2005
Experienced User
kourtney08 wrote:
19mommy wrote:
your mother has a reason to not sign the consent form, and your sister has a reason for wanting it signed, but I feel that if your sister is flipping out over not being able to obtain this abortion and is already thinking about suicide, then I dont think that she should have the abortion. Because after abortions a period of deppression sets in and your sister maybe willling to take her life again, she already thought about it. But this time she might be able to carry it through because no one would take her serious considering she wanted to commit suicide when she couldnt have an abortion, and now that she got one no one would think she'd want to take her life considering she go what it was that she wanted. I think your mom should have her checked out and hopefully she will change her mind about her unborn child.


she shouldn't have the abortion, because after abortions women tend to get depression. That's your reasoning? Is that a joke? Do you have kids? You do realize after giving birth, women get this thing called post partum depression?

This is her body, and she's most likely feeling very, very trapped. It's too bad she has to have parent consent, she should be able to make the choice, not someone who isn't carrying the baby.


actually I am a soon to be mother and I have gone through a termination, so I do know a bit about what I am talking about, im not saying everyone is going to be depressed, but that happens, and there is also post-abortion depression and I if you read it thoroughly you would have seen that what I was trying to state was she being in such a quick state to make a suicide note, she should get psycological help before going through with anything
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