Sexual Health - Women Forum - He Lost Virginity At 12 :(

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Q: He Lost Virginity At 12 :(

asked by: * cheryl * on October 17th, 2005

New User

Hey,

im 17 and my bf is 18, weve been together for 2 years and we knew each other as friends years before we got together. He lost his virginity when he was 12 with a girl who was also 12, and his next time was with me when he was 16 and I was 15. Thing is, even though its been years since it happened and weve been together years, it still rips me in two to think that I gave him my virginity when I was 15, but his had already been taken :( he says it didnt mean anything at all and that he now hates the girl he slept with, but she is still around and everytime I see her it kills me to look at her and know that she took what I wished for. My bf tell's me I should'nt think about it and not to worry cos he loves me so much and always will, and that she meant nothing, but it hurts so much. Everytime I bring it up he gets mad and say's he does'nt want to talk about it. Can anyone else understand where im coming from ? :( xxx

Replies(5)

TysonH

replied on October 17th, 2005

Experienced User

I'm in the same position. My g/f and I have been dating for over 6 months and had sex for my first time. She is 18 and I am 19..She lost hers at 14..And had sex with two other guys after that..One including a onenight stand....Thinkin of that just rips me apart..It just hurts. But she now knows what love is, since i'm with her...But I know how it hurts..However, he should still talk to u about it..My g/f and I talk bout it when it's on my mind..However i'm always asking questions..Even questions that are irrelevant, and qusetions I ahve already asked.. It just never ends. I'm just surprised after 2 years it still bothers you. I hope to god it leaves me soon..Good luck!

elaineska

replied on October 18th, 2005

New User

I definitely know how you feel. My boyfriend and I are both virgins and love each other deeply, and it would hurt either of us if we couldn't be the other's "first." but sometimes people believe they truly lose their virginity only if their first is with someone they love or care about. Perhaps you could consider yourself to be his "true" first. Most of the time when you're 12 you don't really know what you're doing anyway. I'm suprised he had even hit puberty that young! But anyway, I hope this makes you feel better. If not, i'm sure you two can work out your feelings somehow :)

chaosbob

replied on October 19th, 2005

Experienced User

Holy...12 is some young to be having sex....They should be still playing with g I joes, and barbies for christ sakes

Kittykatus

replied on October 19th, 2005

Experienced User

I know exactly how you feel hunny. But at the end of the day-you've shared something special with him, and he's sharing you love with you. It does suck. Half of my mates have said that they lost their virginity to 'experienced' men, but they have stuck with them and the relationship has strenghtened. As long as you love each other then that's all that matters. Don't let it dwindle on your mind, otherwise it will rule your mind and you make yourself unwell. Believe me I know

xx

Lilypad

replied on October 22nd, 2005

Extremely eHealthy

My husband and I made an agreement not to disclose how many partners we've had (thank god) because we feel all that matters now is that we are together.
I know its too late for you and that you already know, but I think it is unfair to make him feel bad for having a life before you!
Just think if something terrible happened to your boyfriend now, or you broke up, you would eventually move on and sleep with someone else. How would you feel if that person gave you a hard time??

And he said he cant stand that girl now, so there shouldnt be anything to be jealus about.
I say, lighten up and move on. Let the past stay in the past and quit bringing up a sore subject!

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