I have a unique situation and wanted to look for some feedback from some other people, so thanks in advance.

My wife had an affair 2 years ago, it has been 1 1/2 yrs since I found out and about 1 year since we have been working on the marriage. We have been married for 3 years and I filed for a divorce last spring. She was deployed to serve in iraq at or about the same time, which makes her "protected" from the law so I cannot hold her contempt until 90 days after she returns. Which was supposed to be this oct. But is now in april 2006.

Since we "trial separated" last oct. I have dated a couple of women and met one that is really special to me. We have a great friendship started and I often talk myself into thinking she'd could be my next serious relationship. I have felt a “moment” a couple of times but I don't pursue my feelings for 1 reason I am still married because my wife chooses not to accept the divorce. Since then this other woman started seeing her x from over 1 year ago and it hasn't been going good for her (so it sounds) and she looks to me for comfort. She just invited me to go to europe with her too, I was pretty shocked but nonetheless I am sure to have a great time.

Not sure what to do? I think I am going to just keep telling my wife that I haven't changed my mind. You see in august she was home and I had the papers ready but she wouldn't sign and I didn’t push because our consoler convinced me to wait until oct. When she gets home because it was only a couple months away. As I focus on my feelings I realize that is all I can do and just hope for the best with the other person. If it is meant to be it will be and if she decides to move when her family does (should have been months ago) then too bad so sad. My problem is that I have done this to my self several times in past relationships and I don’t want to loose someone special again wondering for the rest of my life what it would have been like. I hardly ever take a risk but I feel like I need to. The problems, 1st technically "still married" and it bothers her too (i think), 2nd her relationship.

Do I take the risk and give her a kiss if I feel the moment ever again?
How do I convince my wife it is truely over?

I don't expect a perfect answer but love to hear any ideas? Thanks a lot.