Is My Girlfriend Really a Virgin? Posted: 12-05-03 02:11am
She says she is and is going to wait until
she's married, but her inner lips hang
outside. Now when a guy thinks of this,
he automatically assumes she has sex all
the time and has become loose making
everything hang out. Porn stars genitals
all look like this. Inner lips flipped
out and such which I have to admit isn't
the biggest turn on in the world. I even
had a female friend who made the same
assumtion about lips extruding out on
girls who have sex a lot. It's really
driving me insane imagining my girlfriend
has been lying to me and that she actually
isn't a virgin because that's a huge part
of why I love her. Come on girls, help
me out please..And please don't just say
it's normal so I won't worry. I have to
know if I have a point or not.
Thanks
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Forum Girl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Oct 2003 Posts: 207 Location: Orlando, Florida
Posted: 12-05-03 18:34pm
It is normal whether you want to hear that
or not. I am a bit disturbed by the fact
that you would base someones virginity on
how their gentials look. Not to mention
the fact that you think when a woman has
sex her genitals "become loose making
everything hang out." your perception of
women and their bodies is really out of
whack. The inner lips of a woman's
vagina typically do hang out. In fact
that is the norm. The process starts at
puberty and it is something that happens
whether a girl has sex or not.
I am also bothered by the statement that
your girlfriend's virginity is a big part
of what makes you love her. That
instantly brings to mind the question what
if she told you when she first met you
that she wasn't a virigin? Would you not
have been in a relationship with her?
To be honest with you - a persons
virginity is their own business. I don't
think your girlfriend has to tell you
whether or not she is a virgin because it
ultimately comes down to being none of
your business. You have to realize, she
had a life before you came along, and
she'll have a life long after you leave -
just as you did and you will. But, if
ya'll are open with each other and do
share your past sexual history with one
another, then I think you should trust
your girlfriend enough to tell you the
truth. And if she has told you that she
is still a virgin you should believe her.
You should have that amount of trust in
your relationship.
Now one final thing I have been thinking -
if ya'll aren't having sex but you have
seen her naked and have gotten a very good
close look at her genitals, ya'll are
holding onto virginity by a very thin
technicality. But - ultimately its only
matters to yourselves. So, I wish you
luck - stop being so hard on your
girlfriend, it is all normal whether you
want to admit it or not. Give the poor
girl a break.
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dustins_goofy_babe
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Nov 2003 Posts: 28 Location: Illinois
Hey Posted: 12-05-03 23:23pm
Hey I would just talk to ur gf and ask her
to tell her the truth...Im not much of an
expert on this cause I just lost my
virignity...But if u finger her can u fit
alot of fingers in bla bla bla...Maybe she
lost her virginity to some guy that she
didnt want to maybe she was raped and
doesnt consider that she is not a virgin
since she was forced to do it...U never
know..And the thing about u lovin her
cause of how she is a virgin thats really
stupid ....I hope u find out....Good luck
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smithy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Dec 2003 Posts: 4
Posted: 12-06-03 00:27am
Florida girl: I didn't even think about
asking for input on the things I respect
about my girlfriend. Personally, I
think it's the most important thing in the
world for couples to know eachother's
history. Maybe this is a bad idea for
promiscious people because they're so
ashamed they screw anything that moves.
And to answer your question, I was in no
way looking for a virgin and didn't even
expect her to be ok? But it's
something I respect a lot, I don't know
why that's such a bad thing. I think
history does matter, I in no way want a
girlfriend who's a promiscuous person
because I wouldn't have very much respect
considering i'm not that way either.
It's your damn opinion whether or not
someone's history is their own business.
Of course it's not most people's but I
definitely believe that it is the business
of your partner. What the hell are you
talking about? "you did and you will"
(leave her)? What kind of sick and
twisted mentality do you have florida
girl?
News flash!! Hiv is very prominent in
florida! Keep that in mind. Who the
hell said I was being hard on my
girlfriend either? I asked one simple
question and you gave me your perspective
on relationships (i'd hate to be your
boyfriend knowing your beliefs on a
relationship). I asked a question, you
answered it in your first paragraph.
Everything else you said just makes me
think you're a promiscuous person.
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Forum Girl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Oct 2003 Posts: 207 Location: Orlando, Florida
Posted: 12-06-03 01:09am
Hmm hmm hmm..How to respond? Do I stoop
down to the name calling and petty
inferences? Or do I take a more mature
approach? I think i'll do the opposite
of what you did and i'll take the mature
approach.
I will admit that I know nothing of you or
your relationship with your girlfriend.
Instead, I must go with what you have
provided me, and anyone else reading your
post, about you and your relationship.
What I got from your post was a very
uninformed and naive view of women. Or
maybe a better way to say it is a very
immature view of women.
I agree with you that it is important from
a health standard to know about your
partner's sexual past, but I disagree with
finding out whether your partner is a
virgin simply to know if your partner is a
"promiscuous person" as you so eloquently
put it. For that reason, I believe its
none of your business. You asked your
girlfriend, she gave you her answer. But
you weren't satisified so now here you
are, on the internet graphically
describing your girlfriend's genitals to
strangers, trying to discern whether or
not she is lying to you. That's sad.
Where is the trust and feelings you claim
to have for her? I think the things you
said in your original post are very
degrading and disrespectful to not only
your girlfriend but to all women.
I seriously hope that you are young and
will grow out of this immaturity. I hope
that you will become more informed about
women's bodies and learn that there are
much much more important things about
women and relationships with women than
whether they are virgins or how many
people they have been with.
Just to quickly comment on your sexually
transmitted disease statement: a person
can have intercourse with 30 different
people and never get a sexually
transmitted disease while another person
can have oral sex with just one other
person and contract an std without ever
having actually slept with them. The
number of people you have been with is not
indicative of your sexual health. It is
very naive and dangerous to think that.
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smithy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Dec 2003 Posts: 4
Posted: 12-06-03 12:37pm
Well, i'm a virgin too so it's important
to me. Don't call me immature because I
have morals and think morals are
important. I never ever said that that's
the only important thing nor the only
thing that matters. Forgive me for not
being a pro when it comes to vaginal
knowledge. It's a complicated organ and
I don't have one to answer the question
myself so I nicely asked for the
information. It does make me very sad to
even think my girlfriend would lie about
that, it's important to me. You have
your opinions, I have mine let's just keep
it at that. It would have been way
better if you had just answered my
question like you did in the first
sentence in your reply. By saying the
other things you said, you made me realize
even more how lucky I am to have the
girlfriend that I do. Because she
doesn't at all think the way you seem to.
Anyway, thanks for the answer, it's all I
really wanted and I could have done
without the other things you said. Don't
bother making another post because I won't
see it.
Later
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sparklypixie12
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003 Posts: 3099
Posted: 12-06-03 15:39pm
Smithy-i have a lot of respect 4 u cos
there arent many guys like u so well
done.I can totally understand y u love
there fact that ur girlfriends a virgin
cos its something u c as important &
its important that ur partner feels the
same.Not every1 wants 2 screw around cos
some people actually only want 1 speical
person 4 thewir whole life.
Dont listen 2 those people who cant
respect u cos theyre not worth it.I hope
ur very happy with ur girlfriend & u
seem like a gud guy so gud luck & I
hope things work out
liz :d
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roze_girl35
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2003 Posts: 5
Girlfriend/ My Point of View About Girls Posted: 12-06-03 20:21pm
Maybe she is a virgin and her body type is
just inherited. Why are you judmental of
someone you say you love? Also are you a
virgin still too? If not you have no room
to talk! Most boys loose there virginity
before the girl does! There is so much
based on a girls looks before the guy will
even ask her out- her looks and body- that
makes me sick to see! I am a skinny girl.
I have dated many but I am not a
promiscuous person. Many guys dated me to
try and get between my legs not for myself
or my brain. If I dated a guy that always
pressured me for sex they got dumped-fast!
I dont play that game. What a girl does
before she meet you should remain in the
past. Usually if a girl has given her
virginity before she met you means she was
once in love thinking she was going to be
with him for the rest of her life and gave
her heart to him to let her virginity go.
Dont judge a girls body no one body looks
identical that is why god made us diffrent
to tell each other apart. Would you judge
the movie dumbo being diffrent for having
big ears??? If you even loved her you
would accept every flaw about her and not
worry about having sex with her for love
between one another is forever lasting and
no need to rush sex if your honest and
loyal to one another !!!!!
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redrose
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2003 Posts: 47
Posted: 12-06-03 22:05pm
If your basing your entire assumption on
the fact that her inner lips hang out,
thats the most ridiculous thing i've ever
heard of! A young virgin girl who rides
a bicycle frequently can have the same
thing. Some women are just made with
longer lips than others. I personally
had lips that hung further down....Before
I ever had sex, or a man even touched
me....Probably because I did ride a bike
all the time, and I was very athletic. I
also did gymnastics, including the uneven
parallel bars, which can also stretch the
lips.
It sounds to me like you watch a little
too much porn and you're basing your
expectations and "knowledge" of sex and
women by what you see in porn. Honey,
porn is all about pretend. Most of what
you see isn't real, its faked....And then
enhanced by film and computer editing.
Its time to grow up. It doesn't sound
like you care about your gf at all....It
sounds more like you are a little too
concerned about whether she's a virgin or
not......Are you? Or do you just have a
huge double standard?
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smithy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Dec 2003 Posts: 4
Posted: 12-08-03 04:21am
Thank you sparkly pixie. And the 2 who
relied after her..Take some time to read
the thread before posting, you would have
seen that I am a virgin.
That's it, goodnight. Someone delete
this thread please.
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A-Lil'Mama*2
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Nov 2003 Posts: 89 Location: The Sunshine State
Re: Is My Girlfriend Really a Virgin? Posted: 12-10-03 15:28pm
smithy
wrote:
she says she is and is going
to wait until she's married, but her inner
lips hang outside. Now when a guy
thinks of this, he automatically assumes
she has sex all the time and has become
loose making everything hang out. Porn
stars genitals all look like this.
Inner lips flipped out and such which I
have to admit isn't the biggest turn on in
the world. I even had a female friend
who made the same assumtion about lips
extruding out on girls who have sex a lot.
It's really driving me insane
imagining my girlfriend has been lying to
me and that she actually isn't a virgin
because that's a huge part of why I love
her. Come on girls, help me out
please..And please don't just say it's
normal so I won't worry. I have to know
if I have a point or not.
Thanks
hey smithy-
first of all I would like to commend you
on loving your girlfriend for being a
virgin. That is not to say that virginity
is the only reason that you love her.
Personally, I wish that I would have taken
virginity seriously when I was younger.
Unfortunately for me, I did not. I gave
in to my urges, and ended up having a
baby. Ofcourse, I do not regret my son,
but I do regret not waiting, and not being
more careful. When I met my husband, we
both had a child from a previous
relationship. Neither of us would change
that for the world, but we both wish that
we would have saved ourselves for each
other. So, I truly admire both you and
your girlfriend for saving yourselves.
To answer your question,
if your girlfriend says that she is a
virgin, than you should feel confident
that she is telling you the truth. Some
girls think that it is "cool" to not be a
virgin, and they saythey are not when they
really are. I am only one person, but I
have never known anyone to say that they
are a virgin and not be. Oh, and about
her vaginal lips hanging down...
When I was younger, (about 13/14) my aunt
came to me and asked me if I was having
sex. I was very "weirded out" by that
question, because I was still a virgin.
She said that my lips were "hanging out".
I had always attributed that to using a
tampon. Anyway, ever since then, I always
wondered if I was normal. I have had a
complex about that for six years now. I
now have two children, and not to be
weird, but my private parts went right
back to normal. So I now know that how I
look is how I am supposed to look. You
may really want to put some thought into
whether or not you want to mention that to
your girl. You may hurt her feelings, or
make her shy to sleep with you in the long
run. You may even make her think you
doubt her honesty to you and your
relationship, or make her feel like you
are not a virgin and you now have a guilty
conscience.
I really hope I helped, and no matter what
others say, you should always feel free to
come here and post your questions- that is
what this site is for.
Sincerely,
marissa
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sparklypixie12
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003 Posts: 3099
Posted: 12-11-03 11:33am
Well put marissa :d
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jerseygirl1979
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Dec 2003 Posts: 12
Maybe It Has to Do With How Much She Weighs Posted: 12-12-03 00:38am
Smithy I dont know much about you or your
girlfriend but when I was 30 pounds
lighter my inner lips were on the outside
also... Then I gianed 30 pounds and now
they arnt out as much dam I have to get
on the ball and lose some weight but thats
not the issue all bodies are different no
snatch looks the same just as no penis is
the same as far is doing the whole wiat
until your married thing I give you mad
credit for that I think thats great
sometimes I wish I would have waited and
if both of you can wait until you are
married either to each other or to someone
else then good just keep in mind all
bodies are different and all bodies are
subject to change as far as her telling
you the truth I think she is why would she
lie about something like that and if she
is maybe her first time is something she
wants to forget about us girls are funny
like that and if thats the case then you
should respect the fact that she wants to
forget about it but on the other hand make
it clear to her that the most import thing
to you is her honesty and that she can
tell you anything and if you truely love
her then you will over look her faults and
ease her fears. Good luck in your
relationship I hope you are both happy and
continue to be happy for a very long time
if not forever
