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Response to "how Do I Know..."

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Hello all!
New to the site- so far finding it really useful!- just finished reading post "how do I know i'm having an orgasm", and its responses...


(please bear with me, I know this post is long)

one of you responded and shared that in the 9 years that you've been active, you havent yet experienced an intercourse-induced-org.

Being still young and having had intercourse in the past with men who weren't necessarily boyfriends (many just one-night stands, never with anyone I was really in love with/cared for), it doesnt freak me out that in the 3 years that i've been doing it, I havent yet had an orgasm during sex. The feelings are definitely heightened when with someone you love...


Growing up and watching talk-shows, reading women's magazines, I heard a lot about women and the difficulty in reaching an orgasm in bed-i neeeeever thought it'd be the way it is until I started having sex! "masturbation was always so easy, why should sex be so hard, I thought(no pun intended!)." I can be as excited as a kid with sugar, foreplay, my mind clear...And yet I can never orgasm.
For the past couple of weeks i've been seeing this great guy, who i've now become intimate with. For the couple of months, for many reasons(stress, worries, money problems) I havent had many sexual thoughts or desire for sex....Lately i've been desiring it more, and we've been doing it often...I've told him about my problem(?) and since then, he has tried to help me org. Last time I got to a most excited state, yet it was taking so long that I got tired(and I was the one on the bottom)and we stopped.

Of course our bodies each have their own rhythm, each its own preferred position....But I end up getting aggravated (when I should be feeling ultimate relaxation) and hesitate to get into bed because I know we will try and try and nothing will come of it(literally).

Any comments, opinion, advice, help??


Thanks much, in a rush for class, more later.
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replied December 4th, 2003
Extremely eHealthy
Hello. I do know what you mean about it having to be with someone you love. All the emotions need to be there. I had been with other guys and nothing came of it, I thought sex was boring and pointless. But when I met jose and fell in love and married, I had a wonderful org. And its really because the love is there and no other thoughts. Now when your mind is elsewhere and your stressing, of course you wont get one. I notice that too. So what you need to do is really be in the mood and be focused. Dont think too much, go with the flow and be into it. You have to want it for it to come. Its the way you will expierence it best. Sometimes for women, being on top is the best, have him be still and do your own rythym until you can feel it coming. And then let him try his way. Its the way to satisfy each other. Try different positions not old ones. Sometimes lying on the floor you can feel it or on the bed and lean up a little bit, meaning lift up your bottom a bit for him to reach your soft spots. But remember let your mind go, no stress, no worries, no thoughts at all. Just be into it.
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replied December 4th, 2003
Thanks!
Hey nikki!
Thanks much,
you are the sweetest!

Yes, I have read these numerous magazine articles and have read about how one's mind needs to be clear clear clear....I think I mentioned in the last post that I try to clear my mind during sex- well, I guess it's not working if I can remember what's going thru mymind when im doing it it!

As laid-back as I am, I am allllways thinking, i'm a very hyper person, energetic, have a slight problem sitting still and when i'm happy about something, cannot get my mind on to anything else- ex., a crush or new guy(note: not sufferer of add! ) lol..... Laughing (i swear, that is me in yellow!)

i'm a performer-i act and play music, eventually want to make a career of it- and yet with so much energy I go on for endless hours, further than the stage... So it's a surprise to many and myself that in bed I can't perform with the same energy (gosh, I sound like a 60 yr old man in a viagra commercial!).

Will think about what you wrote-and try it!- and not give up just yet.
Glad to hear i'm not alone! No, i've always known I wasnt alone, but after all these years, one begins to fear!

Anyway, again, thanks much for taking the time to respond to my post...It's funny how a stranger from so far(i saw you're in ca(by the way, it's freeeeeeeeeeeeeezing over here on the east coat!))can help and offer advice even better than a close friend's.


-night nurse
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replied December 5th, 2003
If u like being on the bottom, next time u have sex, while u r on ur back, rest ur legs on top of his shoulders. That usually always gives u an orgasm because it's a direct hit. Good luck baby girl Wink
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replied December 5th, 2003
Extremely eHealthy
Lol, youre welcome! When I read your post I was like oh my gosh I know how she feels! You are far! I heard on the news its very cold there! We are still in the 65-70 area! You just have so much energy so maybe realxing first will help. Like maybe a hot bubble bath first. And try the positions that hit your spot the best! Good luck with that and your career on performing!
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