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Q: Past Coming Back to Haunt Me?
asked by: theone2k5 on October 9th, 2005
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Im stuck in a dilemma guys and I could use some help to get out of it. You see, theres this girl I used to know, who ive always liked, I just didnt know it for a while. I knew her for years since I started school when I was like 4-5. We knew each other through most of school, we were the same age, in the same classes. We were really good friends. At school everybody always used to think there was something between us and some people said that she liked me, but I didnt pay much attention to em right then.


We didnt really talk to each other much in the last couple of years at school though, and since then ive hardly seen her that much. It wasnt until then that I realised I actually liked her, cos before that wed just been good friends. And the thing that probably helped me realise was the fact that before that I was seeing her around school almost everyday.


Anyway, since I realised I liked her about 3-4 years ago shes been on my mind quite a bit, and even more recently. Ive been having alot of dreams about her lately and apparently its because im thinking about what could have been and about what I feel for her.


Ive talked to some people about it and the general consensus is that I should try to contact her and perhaps tell her how I feel and maybe even try to get our friendship back. I dunno though, I just think contacting her out of the blue like that would be a bit weird. And thats forgetting the fact that over a year ago I moved away from the town I used to live in. The town that, as far as I know, she still lives in.


I guess the biggest problem is actually contacting her and talking to her again. Im scared of doing it. We havent spoken in probably 4-5 years. Besides, when I moved away I thought that would be the end of that chapter of my life, despite the fact that I miss the town like mad, but it seems to have followed me. I dunno what I should do.


Im trying to get as many opinions on the situation as I can and any input from you guys would really help. Thanks
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sandyallen
replied on October 9th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Hi there! You have to do what you feel is the right thing to do, noone else can tell you but you but there is only one way to find out and that is by doing it!
Good luck with your decision.
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theone2k5
replied on October 10th, 2005
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sandyallen wrote:
hi there! You have to do what you feel is the right thing to do, noone else can tell you but you but there is only one way to find out and that is by doing it!


Good luck with your decision.


thats just it, I dunno what the right thing to do is. Its not that I dont want to get back in contact with her, I just dunno whether I should. Ive kinda got so much stuff running through my head right now and I cant make out much of it.


All the opinions ive had so far are from guys so really I need input from a female perspective. So to all the girls that may read this:

if you knew a guy for most of your life, who you were good friends with and who (i think) you liked, but you hadnt talked to him for a few years how would you feel if all of a sudden he got back in contact with you?


I know that obviously you cant give accurate opinions because noone knows how she'd actually feel if I did it except her but any opinion will do. I just need some advice.


Thanks.
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theone2k5
replied on October 11th, 2005
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Anyone?
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candyflos
replied on October 11th, 2005
Experienced User
No-one 4gets the past and for some people even the littlest things that may not even mean anything can mean everything if it's all bought back. Cuz it's like this... Say if she did realy like ya and she thinks your not ever gona get back in touch and you don't and she makes the biggest mistake of getin with some else. Now she'l think... Yeh that its the right thing becuz your gona be in the past... And thats gona be your choice to stay in her past or get bk in touch and see how it goes. Otherwise what about one day- few yrs down the line you both bump into each other how is she gona feel to know you once was wondering whether to get in touch but didn't. For both of ya its gona be like you had the chance but didn't bother to take it. If your unsure about something that your thinking about-
it means your thinking about it for a reason. Becuz why else would you be thkinkin whether to get bk in touch with her. And even if 4 some reason you regret it least you can look bk and say you didn't let the chance go but you tried:)
soz if you think ive just rambled on hope it goes wel :)
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theone2k5
replied on October 11th, 2005
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I guess what you're saying is that theres a chance she might be regretting it all as much as me. You said about if we bump into each other a few years down the line, I really would regret it all then. I already regret the whole thing. The only way I can ever find out how she feels and what might happen will be to contact her.

I dont think youve rambled on, to be honest youve said a few things that noone has mentioned yet and ive talked to quite a few people about the situation. Youve opened my eyes a bit and given me some things to think about. Thanks.
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candyflos
replied on October 11th, 2005
Experienced User
Just don't think too much lol cuz your'l just waste more time just go for it allll the cupids will be wiv ya :wink:
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theone2k5
replied on October 12th, 2005
New User
Well ive typed out an email, its saved in my 'waiting to be sent' folder and all I need to do is click send and its gone. I dunno if ive got the courage to do it though. If I click that button theres no going back. If I send the email then its gone, its sent and I wont be able to take it back. Do I have enough courage to do that? I dont know.
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Kittykatus
replied on October 14th, 2005
Experienced User
Is your love for this girl much stronger than your will? If you want to meet go for it, or you'll be saying what if down the line...
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theone2k5
replied on October 14th, 2005
New User
I did it. I sent it 2 days ago, not long after I did that last post. Havent got a reply so far but I can wait.
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Kittykatus
replied on October 16th, 2005
Experienced User
Good Luck...
We are all crossing our fingers and praying for you hunny...
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theone2k5
replied on October 25th, 2005
New User
Well, I havent had a reply as of yet. Its 2 weeks ago tomorrow since I sent the email and I havent had a reply. Its nothing to do with the fact that she might not come on the computer because I know shes been online since I sent it. The address I emailed was a hotmail one so I decided to add her to messenger to see if she ever came online. Now this might seem a bit strange but I blocked her on messenger. You may think it was a stupid thing to do, but the reason I did it was because I wanted to see what she said to the email before I started chatting to her one on one. I didnt want to just jump straight into chatting to her before I got a reply to the email. You can understand that right? Anyway thats how I know shes been on the computer. But she hasnt replied in 2 weeks. A few days ago I decided that I was maybe going to try to talk her on msn next time she was online but I havent even seen her on since then.

Do you think maybe she doesnt actually want to get back in touch with me? But if she doesnt then why wouldnt she just tell me? If she said she didnt want to get back in contact then id accept that, id be really dissapointed about it but id have to accept it, but all this not knowing though is too much, its driving me mad. I dunno what to do.

Someone said to me that maybe shes as nervous to reply as I was to send the email to her, but when I decided I was going to try to contact her it took me about 3-4, 5 at the most days to come up with an email and actually pluck up the courage to send it to her, so why would it take her almost 2 weeks?

I dunno, this is all driving me mad. Im just full of maybes but I cant rest properly until I find out what shes thinking. Im going crazy.
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candyflos
replied on October 31st, 2005
Experienced User
Maybe she does not check her emails because she doesnt use them and she might not come on msn so why dont ya just call her or go and see her maybe doing it face to face or where you to are actualy talkling might make all the differecne
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theone2k5
replied on October 31st, 2005
New User
You did read my first post all the way through didnt you candyflos? I ask because I think after what you just said I think I should point you to the part of the very first post where I said:

me wrote:
over a year ago I moved away from the town I used to live in. The town that, as far as I know, she still lives in


so I cant do what you suggested. Even if I did still live there though, I dont have her phone number and I cant even remember exactly where she lives anymore (she may have moved house since then anyway). Email is my only means of contact.
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theone2k5
replied on November 10th, 2005
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Still no reply :cry:
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