I cut too, im 18 and I started about two years ago when I started getting panic attacks and became very depressed. I would cut because at the time I was feeling such an intense pain inside my body and cutting kind of reversed that pain. I dunno it's hard to explain but latley my cutting got so bad I was put into a hospital. I learned some things there that help me sometimes and I hope it can b helpful to other people who have this problem.
When u feel like cutting.............
Hold ice cubes in ur hands- the coldness still causes that pain u may need but it isnt as serious as cutting and wont leave scars.
Also sometimes I wear a rubberband around my wrist and when I feel like cutting I snap it and that does the same thing as the ice cube, causes pain but no damage.
This one dosent work for me when im really really in the mood to cut but sometimes if u draw on the place where u want to cut with a red pen it looks like u cut and that helps some people.
I hope that helps people but the main thing is to just get help, I know for me I got help because I wasne just hurting myself I was hurting and scaring the people around me who love and care about me, also the only way u will ever stop cutting is if u really want to, I need to have movitation or I wont stop, u just need to want to get better. Good luck to all of u I know how hard this is.
Hi im lisa I too did self-harm I first did it at 14 and I am now 27 the last time I did it I was 25 and going through a breakdown. I ended up in a mental hospital. In there I saw various self harmers which were much much worse then me one lady even set herself on fire :shock: , another u couldnt see her through scars!!.
Since seeing from first hand what self harm can lead too it has stopped me from doing it now
my left arm is covered in scars which I get very embaressed about in the summer...
Not only that its a constant reminder of my "breakdown" :(
Finally somewhere I can talk!!! Yes I know how you feel ive been cutting for three years now...It helps so much for the pain ya know. They sent me to a rehab...Told me it would help...Those incredibly therapists are the crazy ones if you ask me..Hehe but any way I think it is only human to want to feel physical pain when you feel pain on the inside I just thought id tell you your not alone.....
Try to overcome it as soon as possible...Before it grabs hold of you anymore...
There are so many options out there...For example talk therapy. That could include talking to a counsler, an adult, a pastor, etc.
For temporary solutions, try squeezing ice or biting into ginger (yes, it sounds odd, but it takes your mind off of the emotional pain at the time, but it isn't self-mutilation). Also, when you start feeling like you want to cut, try calling up a good friend or a cutting hotline.
another thing I have found, cutting for some can be replaced by working out. Try engaging in yoga or go for a jog when you start to feel down. Working out releases endorphins in the brain, which is a chemical that is usually released during self injury.
This sort of story reminds me of my ex girlfriend. During this relationship I noticed she was a cutter. I ignored it and didn't think much of it and I don't know if that was the right thing to do. She even once wanted me to try and cut myself once but I declined. I am not the one who get depressed at all, nor ever feel a urge to cut myself. Though I was pretty worried about what she was doing to herself could be self destructive. She pretty much told me she didn't cut her self anymore and I once again ignored it.
One day she told me she was going to spend 2 weeks at her uncles house. After she spent the 2 weeks up there she came back. I had been wanting to break up with her for a while now and thought I would tell her when she got back (this wasn't out of no where I have talked to her about breaking up earlier). Anyway when she got back I went to her house basically to give her the bad news ;(. Before I told her she wanted to show me how much she loved me.. Now this is the part that scared me. She lifted up her shirt and I was wondering what she was doing, I was confused thinking she wanted to have sex or something. She turned around, her back completly red and slashed, I swear there was atleast 100 cut marks on her back. Her shirt was bloodstained and scabs everywhere. It was pretty sickening I got pretty freaked out.
After trying to keep a cool head on what she was doing to herself I made bad timing of telling her I wanted to break up. She then started to tell me thing like "please don't leave me" "i need you" "i'll do anything" which kind of made me feel like a bad guy. I then knew right there she needed some help outside of me and her parents. It took me 5 hours atleast for her to get me to break up with her and she cried alot, not that it's not normal to cry in a relationship at all. The most reason I wanted to break up with her was because she had so many problems with her like and I felt like I contributed to it, and could not let myself feel guilty she was doing things like cutting because I was no satisfying her in this relationship.
I had a crowded mind for the next few days not been talking to her, thinking what I should do. I was very close to calling her parents to talk to them about what she was doing :/. A few days later I got a called from some weird unknown phone number. It was her, she informed me her parents placed her in a mental hospital because they saw her back. Not to be mean or anything I was glad she got caught, I didn't want her condition to go any further than that. So about a month later she comes back and instant messages me on aol instant messanger. We talk and it's about whats up how you doing sort of thing, being real friendly. I thought she was doing great and was happy she was happy for once.
Ok now this is the part I do not get. One night I was up playing some online games at 4:45am I hear a loud thump on my window I instantly get out of my room thinking someone was throwing rocks or something. I get into my otheroom that shows the street. I see her egging my house and then she ran into some van, I was completly mind boggled of why she was doing this. The next day she thinks I am completly stupid and have no idea who this was. She imed me on aim and acted friendly again, to be honest I was not 100% sure that was her egging my house, it was dark but the body shape and hair looked exactly like her. I basically talk friendly to her since I was not sure she egged my house or not and I started to get convinced it wasn't her I didn't even mention it to her.
The next day my friend who is friends with my ex girlfriends best friend were talking on the phone, he said that he mentioned to her friend that my house got egged, and her friend repllied "i know". Ok thats 100% obvious now she egged my house. Her best friend lives 40 minutes from my house and I have no contact with the guy he would have no idea if my house got egged unless she told him about it. I then im her "who the hell would drive you at 4:45 am?" she signs off right there. For the next few days she would sign on instantly see my name and sign off. I didn't even want to talk to her I never tried to im her after I asked her who would drive her that late.
She eggs my house again at 9:45pm, at that point im furious, I am wondering what has changed in her personality since she went to that mental hospital. I wonder if she still has some condition shes not over yet. Or maybe days shes not talking her pills (which I am sure shes prescribed to take some after she got back) I am just completly confused of whats going on here and it pisses me off everytime I have to think about it. Summer vacation for me is about to be over soon and I will be going back to school I just hope I don't have to see her again. If anyone has any ideas if this is a disorder or something please tell me. Oh by the way she is 15 I am 16.
Hey all. I don't cut myself, but I have heard that part of the problem that keeps it going is that you get addicted to the endorphine rush it produces. Has anybody considered a really intense excercise regiment to suybstitute that reaction in a healthy way? Also (and yeah I may get flamed for this), cannabis may help as a form of relief, at least something worth trying. I know I know, it's a satanic gateway drug that makes you insane and retarded, but I do encourage everybody to do some real unbiased research (from neither pro or anti marijuana groups) on the matter before deciding it's not a valid form of treatment. Check out http://www.Erowid.Org/plants/cannabis/cann
abis.Shtml , erowid is a wonderfull site that provides unbiased information on every drug known to man, using only scientific papers from research imparial institutions.
Hi i'm megan, and I self-harm myself. I use to cut actually, for about..5 years now, sometimes I still do, I find myself upset or frustraited and I cut. I use to cut my arms, thats how it all started, I was mad and upset when I was 16, and I took a dull pocket knife and cut the tops of my arm, never bled but the burning pain sensation kind of made me feel better, I realized I did this alot after my grandfather passed away but alot more when things just never went right. I stopped for a bit after hurting my arms, then I got into this huge fight with my parents one day and I was soo mad, I took a disposible razor, and pryed the razor out of it, thats when I started to cut my wrists. Not in a way to litterly make myself bleed to death but just to bleed what I felt was my pain away. With every swipe and the blood there it made me feel better, oddly enought. Sometimes I would be so upset the cuts would be deep. My arm is full of scars and I look at it everyday as a reminder of what I did to myself, but that doesnt make me stop, I started cutting my hips, just because it was in an area where noone would see it, and my wrists were to visible in the summer. I use to tell my friends as some sort of cry for help, but they would be like ya I use to then it seemed like everyone did, I was cutting for about 3 years before I told anyone! One of my friends did it cause the movie thirteen "inspired" her. I freaked on her and said people with real problems do it, not because of a movie. Its not thing you do around sayin oh look someone give me attention I cut myself. Because she would go around and like point it out that she did. It would make me mad because I never told anyone. It was something I had to deal with. I sought help. Searched on the internet and such. Was told that you need to tell people. I couldnt tell my parents I only say I need to see a shrink I was depressed. Which was true I am depressed, I suffer from it. But they didnt believe me. Then my boyfriend at the time found out I did it. He was an ass about it. Yelled at me and called me retarted, instead of maybe tryin to find out why. Then I stopped for the longest time. Like 6 months. I was proud and got into this huge fight with my boyfriend and my parents and my best friend, and did it again. I have scars on my hip. Then I stopped again. Broke up with my boyfriend, just stopped listen to my parents all together, and fixed things. And that was in sept. So since then..Ive cut myself twice. But I find now im pinching myself. Cause bruises on my arms. Under my arms, which I guess isnt as bad at cutting. For some reason when I pinch myself I feel better, when a bruise forms to. I guess its something im stuck with. Always self harming. Could be caused by my depression, I never really got that checked out. But I find talking about it helps me a bit. Meh. Im on this life story kick tonite!
I'm an older cutter. I started in my 30's. I was dealing with childhood sexual abuse and couldn't deal with all the memories and the pain. Cutting is hard to explain to someone who doesn't do it. Make sure you are getting good therapy. I quit cutting a couple years ago. On to other things I guess.
Hope you get this under control. The scars it leaves behind are terrible.
Guess that makes me the oldest one to reply..............as for cutting, the pain you feel and the cutting makes your pain seem real? The pain I experienced would take stabs..........not several cuts. Suicide was optional, but I never could quiet get the balls to do it. I did see several therapist, as you say...talk is cheap. It took several rounds of different meds to take me out of depression land. Not sayin there are a few days I still feel the dark side....but for the most, I lie each day now as if it were my last. I figured out on my own, there are people worse off than me and instead of wallowing in self pitty and wanting to die, I could turn that energy around and try to help others. I started by volunteering at hte local animal shelter. The animals made me feel needed and the time I spent with them, I was not thinking about what a crappy world I lived in. No one understood me, but then again, the animals didn't have too, and they don't judge you. Another place was the senior center for elderly. I would go there and ask if there was anyone who was lonesome or had no family or needed something done. I found I didn't have so much time on my hands to think about how incredibly bad things seemed to be for me. Please reconsider cutting yourself, leaving scars for future explaining. It really is not making you feel better. There are lots of people and animals that could use a friend like you..............been there, done that!