I have a friend I really care for and she
is in a bad relationship, she's only 17
right now and her boyfriend is 21, they
fight all the time, but she is scared to
end it with him because he says he will
tell her parents about all the things they
have done (sex,some drugs*that she doesnt
do anymore* and some other stuff), they
break up and get back together everyday,
he's a downright problem. He outright
told her that either she stays with him
when she turns 18 or he tells her mom what
she did, and that either way, he wins.
I've told her to just tell her parents
what she has done but she won't. Does
anyone have any idea what to do?!
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oopoopoop
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Posts: 1366 Location: ,
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Posted: 10-03-05 22:10pm
She could try to secretly record the
conversation, and then have him arrested
for attempted blackmail. But that is
probably too complicated!
Does your friend really believe that her
parents don't have an inkling of what she
has been up to -- like they would be
surprised?
She should break off with the guy, and
tell him that if he wants to tell her
parents, go ahead. If they are then
shocked or whatever, she should tell her
parents about the blackmail and ask if
they would rather not know now, and then
find out she was trapped in an abusive
relationship because she was too
frightened of them finding out.
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matthewchill
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Oct 2005 Posts: 3
Posted: 10-03-05 22:21pm
She has said that she just like started
back talking to her mom and her parents
dont know that she actually still goes out
with him, if they were seen in public, she
would have to like quit her job and cut
off everything till she was 18, her
parents dont like the age difference
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matthewchill
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Oct 2005 Posts: 3
Posted: 10-04-05 20:58pm
Can anyone offer any advice?
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anastasiya
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Sep 2005 Posts: 11
Posted: 10-07-05 13:15pm
I would let him tell her parents whatever
he wants. How will they find out if he is
telling the truth. She can say she dumped
him, it hurted his pride more than
anything else cause person who is doing
things like that probably loves only
himslef in this world and now he's making
all this stuff up to get back at her.
Well she may confess to some of the sins,
but then say the rest was just
exaggerated. Because at the end of the
time will come when he'l probably tell her
parents stuff. It's better to end this
asap.
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ironmantaylors
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Nov 2005 Posts: 38 Location: montana
Tough One Posted: 11-03-05 16:20pm
You could tell the parents. They do love
her unconditionally, and she will thank
you later as it will better her life and
lift his control over her. Screw him,
save her, and in time make yourself the
hero. She will hate you at first but if
she does not forgive you, she is not a
true friend.
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lovinmom4
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2005 Posts: 37
Posted: 11-08-05 07:59am
I really think her parents would much
rather have their daughter leave this bf.
I think she should break up with him and
let him do whatever he wants. She should
come clean to her parents about her still
going out with him. Just tell her to be
honest. Sounds like they are only out
for her best interest. Whatever she does,
she needs to get out of that relationship.
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diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3250 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 87
Thanked:125
Posted: 11-08-05 08:52am
Hey,
I was in the same dilemma but at 16 I was
dating a 23 year old who was really sweet
and became abusive mentally and kept
blackmailing me cause I cut off all my
ties when I was with him. My
bestfriend, you in this case gave me an
ultimatum either I tell my parents or she
does, you have to help your friend, I got
into a even stickier position he basically
raped me and I got prego but I kept
putting up with the bs that is why my
friend got involved.
My parents picked me up(more of dragged me
out)they were pissed at first but they
helped me more than you can imagine, I
told them everything I had done and they
forgave me but it took a few days to calm
down. Me and friend still talk and I
appreciate what she did it was for the
better i'm 21 now and i'm married and
expecting a #2 but my husband is my
bestfriend now and he knows everything
about my past so that none could blow up
in my face..
I wish you the best just help her before
it becomes too late, what he is doing is a
form of abuse and her parents will love
her no matter what is said. If you need
to ask anything send me a message
