I Am the Only One Holdiong Myself Back From Being Happy Posted: 10-01-05 20:35pm
Okay, I have insurance my mom told me this
today. I was so freaking excited you
know. I have been telling my self and
friends that I was gonna go and get help
when I got insurance. I didn't think it
would be hard telling my parents as it is.
I kept thinking I can tell them I can
tell them but now it is just like woah
what am I about to do? I know I am going
to have to eventually but it is so scary
though. Does anyone have any advice for
me. I know I have been asking for advice
from people on here and had my hard times
but now it is the real deal I could go and
get help tomarrow. I am nervous so so so
nervous. I have also gainned weight this
week. I have had a sore throat and it has
been hard to purge so I always had my
bienges and then tried to purge yeah I
think I gained 5 pounds. But I have to go
I am hangin out with some friends so
peace. Well, the only thing I can't stop
thinking about is now the only thing
holding me back from getting help is me.
It really sucks though.
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lisabeth
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Aug 2005 Posts: 22 Location: bermuda
Hi!! Posted: 10-02-05 09:17am
Hi wee angel,
yes it does take a lot of courage to tell
your parents, but you know what I bet
there reaction will not be as bad as you
think.
Good luck
love mexxx
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irishamethyst
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jul 2005 Posts: 75 Location: Ireland
Posted: 10-04-05 10:14am
My parents don't know, but I have opened
up to a few friends, and despite my
nervousness, it went well. If you feel
you can't tell them face to face, could
you perhaps, write a letter to them?
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lisabeth
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Aug 2005 Posts: 22 Location: bermuda
Posted: 10-05-05 21:29pm
Hi angel, there is something I wanted to
add,about telling your parents and
friends,this is from my experience,ed has
been a huge part of my life since a young
age,so when I finally told my parents for
example it was such a relief,it was nice
to not be hidding it anymore. And I have
learned ,it is nothing to be ashamed
of,everyone has there struggles in life.
Ed is a real illness and you can say ever
time you do it never again, but for me I
always did.
Hope you are cool
love lisabethx
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lonely_angel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 128 Location: missouri
Posted: 10-05-05 21:59pm
Well, I am not scared of telling my
parents though. I am just not ready to
tell them cause I don't know if I really
want to admit it to anyone in my family.
I have always heard from my g-ma about how
skinny I was and stuff like that. I am
scared of her reaction. A copuple of
years ago my sister went into the hospital
cause she tried to kill herself. Well,
like a year later our cousin was talking
to my sister and she said my g-ma told her
my sister was in the hospital for
compulsive lying. My g-ma and I are close
in some way. I just don't want other
people in my family to be like oh she is
sick and stuff like that. I am the type
of person who doesn't like being treated
diffrent. Like when I was in the 7th
grade I got into alot of trouble in school
and my parents took me in to get evaluated
by a phyciatrist. After that on
thanksgiving everyone was just like oh and
acting like really nice when normally they
aren't like that. I have a really messed
up family and it is hard to describe
though.
I know I am gonna have to
get hlp soon though cause I am having
really pain pains in my throat. Like when
I breath in I have to do like this quite
lil cough. It feels like I am taking in a
huge breath of cold air. I don't know
what is wrong though. But here is a poem
I like it kinda describes me in a way.
I sit here and try to
hide
hide my feelings
hide my fears
hide my love
I try to hide my
everything
to scared to be
judged
to scared of
everything on the outside
will they like me
will they hate me
an image of me that is
smudged
they don't know me
they think that they
can see me
this pain of mine
cannot be seen
I hide my pain from
the outside
which means I am
left lonely
