Oh fencingdragon, this is a bad one. I'm so sorry and mad that they allow so many quacks out there to masquerade as tmj specialists. They do so much harm.
Are you going to sue the fraud? I'm not a big believer in suing like we hear about in the media all the time, but in this case, I believe you should get at least the $40,000.00 from that charlatan to fix your mouth.
I have never been to a neuromuscular dentist (mainly because there isn't one anywhere close to me) but I do believe they have a good reputation. I don't think the cost is too far out there if they do everything they say they can.
You might want to seek the opinion of a few dental specialists and get some references from former patients of the neuro dentist(s) before deciding on the neuromuscular orthodics. Get 2nd, 3rd and 4th, etc., opinions. Write everything down. Go into appointments with another person for support. Do lots and lots of checking and researching. Don't let anyone do anything to you, though, until the pain has been addressed (bite splint, physical/massage therapy, pain medication, ultrasound, etc.).
I do hope and pray that all will go well. Please let me know, if you can, how everything is going.
God bless...
Carol