Take a little time and explain this to your boyfriend. Set some time just to explore. During mutual masturbation ask your boyfriend to insert two fingers into your vagina and push up towards your tummy and rub and different intensities and different speeds while sucking on your nipples. It took a long time before I discovered my g-spot. Once you locate where yours is, you can find different positions and different ways to have a vaginal orgasm. To me the vaginal orgasm is more powerful than the clitoral. Good luck!

We have actually tried the whole finger thing. That is what he does just about everytime as a part of foreplay. I can get to a state where it's just like blood rushing feet numing yatta yatta but it will just like dye out. I have watched so many tv shows and stuff that is like on hbo late at night and they basically say the problem could be I am not concentrating, I am not comfortable, or I am thinking about it too much. But it's none of those things. ;( any other advice???

He may not be doing it quite right even though he does it a lot. Here's a few tips to help him get you over the edge clit-free:

- get you turned on and ready before getting anywhere near your vagina. Kiss alot, have him tease you, suck your nipples, brush against your vagina with your panties on, erotic massage, whatever gets you so hot you can't stand it.

- have him start with one finger and put it inside. The best way to guide him is to tell him to use his finger to touch 'the back of your clit'. The g-spot is somewhere near the underside of your clit, have him gently feel around until you feel a different sensation from normal intercourse. Sometimes this can take significant pressure before you feel it.

- once he's found it, have him make short, quick strokes over the g-spot (which should feel raised up to him). He should straighten his finger, then apply pressure and curl it, pressing his fingertip across your g-spot as he pulls the tip towards him.

- have him increase speed and pressure, sometimes alternating between doing the g-spot move and running little circles around your cervix (feels like a little tongue or finger off the back wall of your vagina).

- if you need even more intensity during the g-spot motion to get you over the top, have him press on your lower abdomen, right above the pubic bone gently. He should feel the abdomen pressing hand push down with the fingers inside. By doing this, he's creating pressure against the g-spot and not allowing your body to stretch.

- if that still doesn't do it, have him kiss your clit, suck your nipples, or insert a finger into your anus (whatever works best for you) to add to the intensity. He may have to be patient... But it'll be worth the wait for you both.

- one side note, if you begin getting the feeling that you have to urinate, don't worry about it, that could be a sign that you're getting close to your vaginal orgasm and female ejaculation. Just relax, get lost in the sensations, and enjoy the best feeling of your life.

i had an orgasim that felt so good. I could feel it pouring out of me. It left a large puddle. What was this? and how did it happen/

Hey C_O
The wiring is most likely there, vaginal orgasm reuqires very little more than the same sensations that you find enjoyable during sex, however you may just not be used to using it. A huge percentage of women report that they aren't orgasmic without clitoral stimulation. In my opinion what's not said in those studies is that they are clitorally orgasmic but not vaginally. Most women learn to orgasm clitorally before vaginally or rectally. It could just be that you haven't reached the point in your life where your body has figured out the vaginal orgasm. If you are concerned about it just hold the course, stay with one partner to build comfort and familiarity and have regular vaginal sex. Eventually the wiring will come togather for you naturally.

I am a little worried that this concerns you so much. A clitoral orgasm is great. Many women believe it is more intense than a vaginal one. I think it's allright to just be happy you're having orgasms at all. Have you been told that there's something wrong with having a clitoral orgasm? Are you experiencing discomfort?