Lack of Sexual Desire Problems(long Post) Posted: 09-24-05 21:20pm
I am 21 years old, almost 22. I've always
felt like I was abnormal because of my
lack of interrest in sex, and really no
sexual desire. My mom doesn't seem to
understand, I tried to tell her about it
about a year back, but she's a very sexual
person and it really seemed to alarm
her.
I'm no stranger to porn, it just doesn't
turn me on in the very least, I even have
a couple pics, and I go on searches ever
once and a while, mainly because i'm and
artist and I need certain poses sometimes,
those don't turn me on either.
I've only tried masturbation to try to be
normal, and I really don't think I orgasm,
it feels good but there doesn't seem to be
a real enjoyment behind it.
As i've mentioned before, i've always felt
like this was an abnormalty, and i've
always wanted to fit in in that area, it's
very frustrating, almost to the point of
tears.
I've never been any good with keeping
guys, mostly because of this, but recently
i've decided to give up on not giving it
up. Last year I had a super fine
boyfriend, who was really sweet, but
despite all I never felt sexually
attracted to him, but because I really
wanted to lose my virginity I had sex with
him and another guy when I was really
drunk(it was a threesome, my bf was bi and
I really didn't mind). It wasn't what I
had hoped for, in fact it was more of a
mess and not enjoyable in the least, I
wasn't turned on despite the pretty bodies
and manly parts all around me, plus, I had
no experience at all, and we really
couldn't do much, so not much
happened(they were really too drunk to
keep "it" in most of the time). I ended
up leaving him because there was no
modivation in the relationship and figured
I stay single for a while.
***finally*** i've found my true love in
life. I love him in every way and he
loves me back just as much, and I think
we're pretty much aware of where our
relationship is headed.
Problem: same as before and same problem
i've had all my life. No sexual desire at
all. We do it a lot though, just about
everyday, he's 18, about to turn 19, so I
sorta figured that he's going to be horny
all the time, and i'm not about to deny
him. He's actually very mature for his
age, much more mature then I am it seems.
He's set on me orgasming every time, and
unfortunately I usually have to fake it
because I don't want to take forever and
still never orgasm, it's horrible, and i'm
so ashamed, i've only even come close
maybe twice, we've probable done it 100
times. Seeing him naked doesn't turn me
on, neither does his porn, preforming oral
sex on him doesn't turn me on and neither
does giving him hand jobs, and him doing
anything in general to me doesn't seem to
do much either. I've only once been
turned on by him and that was watching him
masturbate, I got all flushed and stuff
and would have attacked him if I wasn't on
my period :? My luck.
I'm set on making this relationship work,
i'll do anything, and I don't feel like I
need to orgasm all the time to be happy in
our relationship. I'd just like to
someday hope that I can feel like I really
want it from him someday.
Am I doomed? Is there something I can do?
Meds? I'm really desperate and curious
as to what I can do about my problem, i've
tried to find answers online but mostly
find things on people who lose their
desire for sex later in life. I've never
really had one. Could it be my lack of
experience? I'm actually very self
contious, and most of my life I felt I was
deformed down below.
I'm sorry if this is a long post but I was
trying to provide as many details as I
could. Please respond.
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Happiness03
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 333
Posted: 09-25-05 16:00pm
First, what do you mean by "deformed down
below?" if you are self conscious, then
that is a real problem. You are
sheltering yourself from exploring your
sexuality. Being able to see yourself as
a beautiful person during sex, is key.