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Goodbye Everyone

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forbsey

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 29
Location: ,
Goodbye Everyone
Posted: 09-19-05 20:25pm

Goodbye everyone

due to several factors, I have decided that I have little choice but to end my life now. If you are reading this after 21 september around 10.00 uk time then i'll already be dead, I will be in peace and free from the pain of every day living.

My life was a complete mess: :cry:

i was ugly and despicable beyond believe

i had a massive forehead

i had, literally, hundreds of spots

i had a massive nose

my hair was falling out

i was severely depressed

i had absolutely no friends

i was constantly laughed and stared at by people

i was constantly having panic attacks

i felt as if I was going mad/crazy

i had no future

i was stupid/thick

my mother didn't even want me in the first place (i wish she had gone through with that abortion

i couldn't even communicate with my own family!

If I had stayed alive, I would probably have died alone with no one who cared

my teeth were severely decayed (my own fault I know!)

the only enjoyable thing in my life was masturbating! - that says it all really

i thought I was gay, not that that mattered because I would never have had a partner anyway!

Thanks to everyone who gave me advice on this forum, god bless you all. :wink:
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lesliepei

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Sep 2005
Posts: 187
Location: Canada
Please Don't
Posted: 09-19-05 21:07pm

You have to get help immediately. Call an ambulance, a priest anybody!! Go to the nearest emergency room!! Anything, but do not kill yourself please...... Your life is worth living. You just may need help to see that. God bless.

Btw...People do care about you
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rose_5HT

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Sep 2005
Posts: 1
Location: France
Re: Goodbye Everyone
Posted: 09-20-05 01:04am

forbsey wrote:

i'll already be dead, I will be in peace and free from the pain of every day living.



i understand the terrible mental pain you're going thru.

Have you tried taking magnesium ? I suggest you take 1 gm (elemental magnesium) and wait 2 hours. Notice for yourself how dramatically it will change (improve) your mental state. It brings huge relief to mental pain / depression. It erases suicidal ideations. It works very quickly (1-2 hours). It is cheap and you can buy it easily w/o prescription.

Please do yourself this last favor. And then share your results.

Please.
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TonytheTiger

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2005
Posts: 10
Location: Texas
Hey Man
Posted: 09-22-05 20:06pm

I know what you mean I want to die too
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Pandoras_Box

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Sep 2005
Posts: 22
Location: Newcastle,Nsw,Australia

Posted: 09-22-05 23:27pm

I do not know what time it is where you live right now, but honey are you still alive?
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forbsey

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 29
Location: ,

Posted: 10-03-05 19:00pm

I'm still here!

I didn't go through with it. I was standing at the edge of the road waiting for a bus to pass and I was in tears. Thankfully a woman asked me what was wrong and I told her and she phoned an ambulance. I was kept in hospital for a few days so they could keep an eye on me and I am currently seeing a counselor. I dont know if i'm happy that I didn't go through with it and a part of me still wishes I was dead but I prmised my family I would give it another 6 months at least to see if things improve.

Hopefully i'm can get back on the right road again.
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funnchic_88

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Sep 2005
Posts: 9
Location: michigan

Posted: 10-05-05 17:41pm

Yes its after 21 of sept. But if its true that u were or did kill yourself it matters alot of poeple understand what ur going threw but think to u it might be worth it but unless you got into a accadent or died eneyway on accadent your not surposed to die maybe u will have a great future but if u physically hurt yourself and people are scared for life because they fell its their fault you can get help you know people are here well everywhere people their cant be that mean someone has to care get help please dont hurt yourself love your friend ,victoria
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xxxcarriexxx

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Oct 2005
Posts: 6

Posted: 10-06-05 12:15pm

What happened to u, r u still alive?? Life is a gift some people dont have a choice it gets ended for them.. There is always someone worse off than u.. Things will get better..
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lesliepei

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Sep 2005
Posts: 187
Location: Canada
Thank Goodness
Posted: 10-10-05 19:16pm

I am so very glad to hear that you let someone reach out to you. I have been wondering about you since I wrote to you back in september. I truly do believe that your life is worth living and that you will, in time, come to see this. God bless....

Leslie
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Kittykatus

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 89
Location: United Kingdom

Posted: 10-12-05 05:52am

I know what your feeling forbsey. Life can be so cruel and the dice normally doesn't roll the number you want. But even though you think there's no one there, there are millions of people that want to be there for you. I always think that i'm utterly useless (and I am!) but I will not be beaten, and neither will you. I reckon you have a stronger heart and mind than you think.
Keep well my friend. Xx
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mujereuna

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 1
Location: PA
Am Ready to Go
Posted: 10-12-05 22:05pm

Forbes,
I give you credit. I have been in counseling all of my life, and I still wan to go...I am sick...Am very physically ill and ready..
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Spanky2005

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jul 2005
Posts: 78
Location: Philadelphia
Forbes
Posted: 10-12-05 22:37pm

Ok if you really want to die go ahead. Can you turn your accounts over to me. Do you own anything of value? Lol

hey im kidding. Sorry!

Seriously forbes, you must be out of your mind to even think about killing yourself. Life is precious. Everyone has problems of some kind.
Some have more problems than others. Nobody has a perfect life.

I am sure there is a great role you have to play in this world. If its your looks, well then people get makeovers and turn out beautiful.
If you are depressed there are anti-depressants. If nothing else, you can help others like yourself who are contemplating suicide.

If you dont want to live for yourself then consider living for the sake of those around you. I am sure your family loves you and will be highly sad if you are not around. The true meaning of life is being useful to others.
Those are the things that will count in the hereafter.

Besides you do have something going for yourself with your masturbation. Think about it. How many guys cant even get it up?
How many millions of guys cant climax because of some physical ailment.

Give yourself time man. Life is beautiful. You will soon discover that you have to take the good with the bad. Im sure there is beautiful lady out there that is just dying to discover you. Don't disappoint her.
Stick around. You wont regret it, I promise.

If you are reading this, write back and tell us you will never end your life but fight till the end and make things right!

The best to you my dear friend. I love you man!
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Grnbear1991

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 7
Location: NH
Wanting to Die
Posted: 10-15-05 21:08pm

To hear the way you talk saddens me alot, cause I to was at the point not to long ago. But I made it through it, now trust me it wasnt that easy I had to struggle every day with the feeling but then something changed, I realized that things arent that bad. I mean there are some many people out there with so many people with worse problems than what you speak off( no one that I know of is ever satisfied with the way they look so for that alone is not reason to chose to end the life that god gave to you.)
you might not know your purpose as of yet but there is one for you. Maybe you are meant to feel this way and help someone else who feels the same way. Maybe you can be the light at the end of their tunnel of darkness.

In my own life I too thought that there was nothing left of me to give so why not just end it all. I mean that does sound like the easiest option right? Well no you are wrong it takes a much stronger person to survive through whatever it is that you are going threw. I did it and it was alot of work it took me about 2 years to hold my head up high again. I can honestly say that I am not 100% but that is ok who ever is? I just knew that there were people that needed to know what I went threw so maybe I could help them. If you really believe that you dont have any good qualities in you than you are wrong. Cause just by your posting and your cry for help you show that you know right from wrong. You do have something to live for and that is your self.
Life for some people is living every day with no food in thier stomachs or the fear of being shot on a drive by or you could be living with a disease that you know is going to take your life and there is nothing that they can do about it. You arent them you have a choice? Chose to live and see were life takes you. I know that it might be bumpy with lots of turns and you really never know where you belong but you do belong somewhere you just need to open you eyes and look.
Why not go volunteer to help someone that is in worst condition than you. Go to a nursing home and find some poor soul that is all alone cause thier children dont want to deal with the burden of caring for a sick parent/granparent. God they gave them life and took care of them when they were sick dont they owe them that much?

Or you could become a big brother to some boy who's father died and he has no male role model or anyone to look up too. Or you could go to you local church and help feed the hungry and while you are there find your creator. Than person that breathed air into your body... Your father... Have you ever heard that song by jimmy wayne that speaks of his father never loving him and feeling all alone but when he goes to church and is praying to know if his father ever loved him he sees jesus on the cross and realizes that he was never alone.

Now please trust me I am not no church going person. I believe that there is a god and he put me here for a reason and you too. I did not heal myself by going to church or talking to some councelor. I did it all by myself but that might no work for you so please reach out a hand and see who is there to help you. If you need a friend than talk to me I will talk back and forth with you, I may live a million miles away from you but I am only an email away. Yeah I cant watch a game with you but I can watch it and talk to you about it. Oh and I am not the same sex as you but I am sure I can find something to talk to you about.

Though I cant help you with the masturbating thing? Now I know you smiled at the one. So you see there is still joy left in you heart. Just let it out and let it grow....... Find peace.. Do what I do.. Go outside and open your eyes and I dont mean look at things you see all the time but look beyond that. Look past all that look at the things that no one see's or just doesnt want to see. Can you hear the sound of the wind, or see a flower for its true beauty, listen to a child playing in the park or see them holding on to thier parents hand for dear life afraid of the big world ( or in thier eyes it is) there is so much out there I promise just stop and look and then you will find peace with life... Me I like to go hear the waves at the ocean and when I cant get there I have a cd that I listen to that has ocean waves on it... That is where I am at peace with myself and the world........So please take care of yourself and make the right choice.. Chose to live and live to the best of your ability :(
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Jaleigh

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2005
Posts: 34

Posted: 10-24-05 08:11am

This may sound cruel, and if so I am really sorry. However, I have no compassion for someone that runs around saying that they are going to kill themselves. Killing yourself is the easy way out. It's weak. God never puts more on us than we cannot handle. It is not up to us when we are to die. It is up to god. What makes you think that you are any different? That is an insult to god in my opinion. I understand that everyone has their issues and some may be bigger than others, but there is help out there for you. You can over come all of this if you really want to. What does it prove to kill yourself? Nothing! All it proves is that you were too weak to stick it out like the rest of us have to do. Life is not an easy road. It's really hard at times, but it's really great other times. It's not always going to be a bed of roses. Stop worring about what others say about you. Who cares what they think? They are no better than you are. The most important thing is that you have family that cares about you more than anything and they will be there for you forever. How terrible and mean it would be for you to kill yourself and leave your family to deal with it for the rest of their lives. I don't know if you are a religious person or not or what religion you are if so, but my religion, which is christianity says that you will not enter heaven if you kill yourself. Is that something that you are willing to give up? Are you willing to give up your soul for eternity to anyone other than god? Think about it. Get some help. Get on some medication. Talk to someone. Most of all stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop feeling pity for yourself. That will get you nowhere. Only more sorrow!
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