due to several factors, I have decided
that I have little choice but to end my
life now. If you are reading this after
21 september around 10.00 uk time then
i'll already be dead, I will be in peace
and free from the pain of every day
living.
My life was a complete mess: :cry:
i was ugly and despicable beyond believe
i had a massive forehead
i had, literally, hundreds of spots
i had a massive nose
my hair was falling out
i was severely depressed
i had absolutely no friends
i was constantly laughed and stared at by
people
i was constantly having panic attacks
i felt as if I was going mad/crazy
i had no future
i was stupid/thick
my mother didn't even want me in the first
place (i wish she had gone through with
that abortion
i couldn't even communicate with my own
family!
If I had stayed alive, I would probably
have died alone with no one who cared
my teeth were severely decayed (my own
fault I know!)
the only enjoyable thing in my life was
masturbating! - that says it all really
i thought I was gay, not that that
mattered because I would never have had a
partner anyway!
Thanks to everyone who gave me advice on
this forum, god bless you all. :wink:
|
lesliepei
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Sep 2005 Posts: 187 Location: Canada
Please Don't Posted: 09-19-05 21:07pm
You have to get help immediately. Call
an ambulance, a priest anybody!! Go to
the nearest emergency room!! Anything,
but do not kill yourself please......
Your life is worth living. You just may
need help to see that. God bless.
Btw...People do care about you
|
rose_5HT
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Sep 2005 Posts: 1 Location: France
Re: Goodbye Everyone Posted: 09-20-05 01:04am
forbsey
wrote:
i'll already be dead, I will be in peace
and free from the pain of every day
living.
i understand the terrible mental pain
you're going thru.
Have you tried taking magnesium ? I
suggest you take 1 gm (elemental
magnesium) and wait 2 hours. Notice for
yourself how dramatically it will change
(improve) your mental state. It brings
huge relief to mental pain / depression.
It erases suicidal ideations. It works
very quickly (1-2 hours). It is cheap and
you can buy it easily w/o prescription.
Please do yourself this last favor. And
then share your results.
I do not know what time it is where you
live right now, but honey are you still
alive?
|
forbsey
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 29 Location: ,
Posted: 10-03-05 19:00pm
I'm still here!
I didn't go through with it. I was
standing at the edge of the road waiting
for a bus to pass and I was in tears.
Thankfully a woman asked me what was wrong
and I told her and she phoned an
ambulance. I was kept in hospital for a
few days so they could keep an eye on me
and I am currently seeing a counselor. I
dont know if i'm happy that I didn't go
through with it and a part of me still
wishes I was dead but I prmised my family
I would give it another 6 months at least
to see if things improve.
Hopefully i'm can get back on the right
road again.
|
funnchic_88
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Sep 2005 Posts: 9 Location: michigan
Posted: 10-05-05 17:41pm
Yes its after 21 of sept. But if its true
that u were or did kill yourself it
matters alot of poeple understand what ur
going threw but think to u it might be
worth it but unless you got into a
accadent or died eneyway on accadent your
not surposed to die maybe u will have a
great future but if u physically hurt
yourself and people are scared for life
because they fell its their fault you can
get help you know people are here well
everywhere people their cant be that mean
someone has to care get help please dont
hurt yourself love your
friend ,victoria
|
xxxcarriexxx
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Oct 2005 Posts: 6
Posted: 10-06-05 12:15pm
What happened to u, r u still alive??
Life is a gift some people dont have a
choice it gets ended for them.. There is
always someone worse off than u.. Things
will get better..
|
lesliepei
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Sep 2005 Posts: 187 Location: Canada
Thank Goodness Posted: 10-10-05 19:16pm
I am so very glad to hear that you let
someone reach out to you. I have been
wondering about you since I wrote to you
back in september. I truly do believe
that your life is worth living and that
you will, in time, come to see this. God
bless....
Leslie
|
Kittykatus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Oct 2005 Posts: 89 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: 10-12-05 05:52am
I know what your feeling forbsey. Life
can be so cruel and the dice normally
doesn't roll the number you want. But
even though you think there's no one
there, there are millions of people that
want to be there for you. I always think
that i'm utterly useless (and I am!) but I
will not be beaten, and neither will you.
I reckon you have a stronger heart and
mind than you think.
Keep well my friend. Xx
|
mujereuna
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Oct 2005 Posts: 1 Location: PA
Am Ready to Go Posted: 10-12-05 22:05pm
Forbes,
I give you credit. I have been in
counseling all of my life, and I still wan
to go...I am sick...Am very physically ill
and ready..
|
Spanky2005
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jul 2005 Posts: 78 Location: Philadelphia
Forbes Posted: 10-12-05 22:37pm
Ok if you really want to die go ahead.
Can you turn your accounts over to me. Do
you own anything of value? Lol
hey im kidding. Sorry!
Seriously forbes, you must be out of your
mind to even think about killing yourself.
Life is precious. Everyone has problems
of some kind.
Some have more problems than others.
Nobody has a perfect life.
I am sure there is a great role you have
to play in this world. If its your looks,
well then people get makeovers and turn
out beautiful.
If you are depressed there are
anti-depressants. If nothing else, you
can help others like yourself who are
contemplating suicide.
If you dont want to live for yourself then
consider living for the sake of those
around you. I am sure your family loves
you and will be highly sad if you are not
around. The true meaning of life is being
useful to others.
Those are the things that will count in
the hereafter.
Besides you do have something going for
yourself with your masturbation. Think
about it. How many guys cant even get it
up?
How many millions of guys cant climax
because of some physical ailment.
Give yourself time man. Life is
beautiful. You will soon discover that
you have to take the good with the bad.
Im sure there is beautiful lady out there
that is just dying to discover you. Don't
disappoint her.
Stick around. You wont regret it, I
promise.
If you are reading this, write back and
tell us you will never end your life but
fight till the end and make things
right!
The best to you my dear friend. I love
you man!
|
Grnbear1991
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Oct 2005 Posts: 7 Location: NH
Wanting to Die Posted: 10-15-05 21:08pm
To hear the way you talk saddens me alot,
cause I to was at the point not to long
ago. But I made it through it, now trust
me it wasnt that easy I had to struggle
every day with the feeling but then
something changed, I realized that things
arent that bad. I mean there are some
many people out there with so many people
with worse problems than what you speak
off( no one that I know of is ever
satisfied with the way they look so for
that alone is not reason to chose to end
the life that god gave to you.)
you might not know your purpose as of yet
but there is one for you. Maybe you are
meant to feel this way and help someone
else who feels the same way. Maybe you
can be the light at the end of their
tunnel of darkness.
In my own life I too thought that there
was nothing left of me to give so why not
just end it all. I mean that does sound
like the easiest option right? Well no
you are wrong it takes a much stronger
person to survive through whatever it is
that you are going threw. I did it and
it was alot of work it took me about 2
years to hold my head up high again. I
can honestly say that I am not 100% but
that is ok who ever is? I just knew that
there were people that needed to know what
I went threw so maybe I could help them.
If you really believe that you dont have
any good qualities in you than you are
wrong. Cause just by your posting and
your cry for help you show that you know
right from wrong. You do have something
to live for and that is your self.
Life for some people is living every day
with no food in thier stomachs or the
fear of being shot on a drive by or you
could be living with a disease that you
know is going to take your life and there
is nothing that they can do about it.
You arent them you have a choice? Chose
to live and see were life takes you. I
know that it might be bumpy with lots of
turns and you really never know where you
belong but you do belong somewhere you
just need to open you eyes and look.
Why not go volunteer to help someone that
is in worst condition than you. Go to a
nursing home and find some poor soul that
is all alone cause thier children dont
want to deal with the burden of caring for
a sick parent/granparent. God they gave
them life and took care of them when they
were sick dont they owe them that much?
Or you could become a big brother to some
boy who's father died and he has no male
role model or anyone to look up too. Or
you could go to you local church and help
feed the hungry and while you are there
find your creator. Than person that
breathed air into your body... Your
father... Have you ever heard that song
by jimmy wayne that speaks of his father
never loving him and feeling all alone but
when he goes to church and is praying to
know if his father ever loved him he sees
jesus on the cross and realizes that he
was never alone.
Now please trust me I am not no church
going person. I believe that there is a
god and he put me here for a reason and
you too. I did not heal myself by going
to church or talking to some councelor.
I did it all by myself but that might no
work for you so please reach out a hand
and see who is there to help you. If you
need a friend than talk to me I will talk
back and forth with you, I may live a
million miles away from you but I am only
an email away. Yeah I cant watch a game
with you but I can watch it and talk to
you about it. Oh and I am not the same
sex as you but I am sure I can find
something to talk to you about.
Though I cant help you with the
masturbating thing? Now I know you
smiled at the one. So you see there is
still joy left in you heart. Just let it
out and let it grow....... Find peace..
Do what I do.. Go outside and open your
eyes and I dont mean look at things you
see all the time but look beyond that.
Look past all that look at the things that
no one see's or just doesnt want to see.
Can you hear the sound of the wind, or see
a flower for its true beauty, listen to a
child playing in the park or see them
holding on to thier parents hand for dear
life afraid of the big world ( or in thier
eyes it is) there is so much out there I
promise just stop and look and then you
will find peace with life... Me I like
to go hear the waves at the ocean and when
I cant get there I have a cd that I listen
to that has ocean waves on it... That is
where I am at peace with myself and the
world........So please take care of
yourself and make the right choice..
Chose to live and live to the best of your
ability :(
|
Jaleigh
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2005 Posts: 34
Posted: 10-24-05 08:11am
This may sound cruel, and if so I am
really sorry. However, I have no
compassion for someone that runs around
saying that they are going to kill
themselves. Killing yourself is the
easy way out. It's weak. God never
puts more on us than we cannot handle.
It is not up to us when we are to die.
It is up to god. What makes you think
that you are any different? That is an
insult to god in my opinion. I
understand that everyone has their issues
and some may be bigger than others, but
there is help out there for you. You
can over come all of this if you really
want to. What does it prove to kill
yourself? Nothing! All it proves
is that you were too weak to stick it out
like the rest of us have to do. Life
is not an easy road. It's really hard
at times, but it's really great other
times. It's not always going to be a
bed of roses. Stop worring about what
others say about you. Who cares what
they think? They are no better than
you are. The most important thing is
that you have family that cares about you
more than anything and they will be there
for you forever. How terrible and mean
it would be for you to kill yourself and
leave your family to deal with it for the
rest of their lives. I don't know if
you are a religious person or not or what
religion you are if so, but my religion,
which is christianity says that you will
not enter heaven if you kill yourself.
Is that something that you are willing to
give up? Are you willing to give up
your soul for eternity to anyone other
than god? Think about it. Get some
help. Get on some medication. Talk
to someone. Most of all stop feeling
sorry for yourself and stop feeling pity
for yourself. That will get you
nowhere. Only more sorrow!